DITTY ON D.T.

There was this guy, Samuel L Clemens,
Whom you may perhaps know as Mark Twain,
He suffered (I suppose) from delirium tremens,
For he gave up smoking time and time again.

When asked how he could do it so often,
He'd smile benignly, and cop a subtle feel,
His eyes would twinkle, his voice would soften,
He'd say, "Giving up ain't such a big deal!"

"When your throat burns, and your eyes hurt,
And your stomach feels disgustingly queasy,
And you heart feels as if it’s being ripped apart,
Then giving up becomes remarkably easy.”

“Of course, as the new day dawns
You feel refreshed, rejuvenated, without regret,
You stretch like a cat and stifle your yawns
And reach a lazy arm for another cigret.”

“You have to do it, you know, to start again,
So another chance to give up comes along.”
Thus spake Zarathustra … err … ummm … Mark Twain,
Or so I’m told, though I may have heard wrong.