Forrest Gump was sent on his way to
Heaven.
Upon
his arrival, a concerned St Peter met Forrest at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry
Forrest' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly
souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to
ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'
'That's Cool' said Forrest. 'What does the Entrance
Exam consist of?'
'Just 3 Questions' said St Peter.
'Which are?' asked Forrest.
'The
first' said St Peter, ' Is, which two days of the week start with the letter
'T'?
The second is: How many seconds are there in a
year?
The third is: What was the name of the swagman in
Waltzing Matilda?
Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those
questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for
me.'
So Forrest went away and gave those three questions
some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).
The
following morning, St Peter called upon Forrest and asked if he had considered
the questions, to which Forrest replied, 'I have.
'Well then,'said St Peter, 'Which two days of the
week start with the letter T?' 
Forrest said, 'Today and
Tomorrow.'
St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and
decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the
question.
'Well then Forrest, could I have your answer to the
second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a
year?'
Forrest replied, 'Just 12!'
'Only 12?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at
that figure Forrest?' 
'Easy' said Forest, 'there's the
second of January, the second of February right through to the second of
December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'
St
Peter looked at Forrest and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer
before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his
head.
A short time later St Peter returned to Forrest.
'I'll allow the answer to stand Forrest, but you need to get the third and final
question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven.
Now
Forrest, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing
Matilda?'
Forrest replied: 'Of the three questions, I found
this the easiest to answer.'
'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the
answer, Forrest?'
'It's Andy.'
'Andy??'
'Yes, Andy' said Forrest
This
totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the
answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to
Forrest, asked 'Forrest, how in God's name did you arrive at THAT
answer?'
'Easy' said Forrest 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy
waited till his Billy boiled.'
And
Forrest entered Heaven...