Obviously some don't know the weird sense of humour Glaswegians have and you can't put it past them in making such a comment. I work closely with a couple of ex Glaswegians.
Bono does a lot of great work (as well as Bob Geldof just to name 2) in making the power nations of this world do something productive in assisting those countries less fortunate. I'll leave it at that as this is not the board to discuss this any further. cheers.

At a U2 concert in Glasgow, Bono asks the audience for some quiet.



Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.



Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone



"Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."



A voice from near the front pierces the silence;



"Well, stop ******* doing it then."

skipinnz: I got it! And it's funnier still because my dad works for a Chicken Franchise company as the Franchise Operations Manager and they use Inghams as the supplier :-)

Rose: I know, but this was mid 90's!!!

Rose: What a hoot...what about the guy in the newly bought Maserati!!
Scary thing is that I used to date a guy that was Italian and did own a pair of black leather pants and looked good in them!!! Yes, he wore them out in public on more than one occassion.

playBunny: I'm a 2%er as well!! I chose koala actually, I mean I did have to pick an aussie animal!! :-)

CleverHunk: just hope that it isn't one of those plants that give you a bad rash!!! ouch!!

CleverHunk: actually there is a kid that was born here in Australia that had an overproduction of the protein (I think it's a protein) that causes the same wrinkles as it does in that breed of dog. He is now about 9 years old and has just about grown into his 'wrinkles'.

ScarletRose: ewwwww....that is mega gross!!! It's just as bad as that woman who just made it in the guiness book of world records for being able to pop her eyes half way out of her socket and that's without any intervention!!! blahhhh

ClayNashvilleTn: there's also the aussie version of the same letter and if I'm not wrong it was also posted on this board...hmmm...a few weeks ago maybe, can't remember exactly.

Eriisa: that's what I did when I read it the first time!

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...


"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet". "Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".


So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!


"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".


"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don'forget".


"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".


And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.


"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"


"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"


"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....


Ees.....


Ees.....


Ees....
.


Ees, a Ham Bush"

spicieangel: that is sooooooooooooooooo true!!!! LOL

Jason: yep, must be read with the aussie accent! lol

furbster: I love it!! lol

fsh...that's what it sounds like when kiwis (people from New Zealand, not the animal) go to say fish :))

Cole, the fine print says:
"the bridge is also out ahead". :)

Hey Steve...where on did you unearth those? They are terrible!!! :)

Onya Gramps...Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi! Oi! Oi!
:))))))

The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch. However,when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs. Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance: "Hello - is anyone there. Can anyone hear me".
A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:
"Australia will win the Rugby World Cup"
"Thank god" said Snow White "at least Dopey's still alive"

This is what us Aussies have to put up with coming out from England!!! :)))