welshrugbyfan: How 'bout, he was chasing the chicken. Does that clean it up enough?

welshrugbyfan: I don't think the answer I know would be suitable for this page.

A guy gets called into the bosses office. The boss says, "you have been here for a few months now and have not worked a full week. You are adveraging four days a week. Can you explain this?" "Yes," says the employee," I can't support my family on three days pay."

Cheri: Gave me an ear worm. Now everybody at work has one too.

They're making a new model Barbi doll.
The Divorced Barbi.
She comes with all Ken's things.

Seems this is turning into a chat room. Can't the mods bleep the jabber?

Last year my Thanksgiving joke got run off PDQ.
Think it is time to post it over at Vtipy again.

I heard the Pope said the preists can kiss the nuns now.

So long as they don't get in the Habit.

Sarah1980: I didn't get it.

yoyudax: waiting for IYT I see

INVENTORAMF: link
If I did it correctly this link will get you almost there. Then look in the far right column and look for "oops the speaker ph is on."

INVENTORAMF: There is a video of this joke at bjburrows.com

The moderators worry about words kid's may see, but a person with a weak heart could die from that xxxx.

INVENTORAMF: That was not funny! You xxxxxxx!

www.bjburrows.com

Juno:
Magic.

A little girl falls down a well and can't get out. Her brother stands there and does nothing. Finally hearing the screams a neighbor runs over and pulls the girl out. He looks at the brother and asks, "why didn't you do something to help her?" So the boy replys, "how can I be a brother and assist her too?"

A man walks into a phyciatrists office. Says, "doc I keep having these alternate recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwan. Its driving me crazy. Whats wrong with me?"
The doctor answers, "it's simple. You are two tents."

what page do I turn to for the answer?

A couple went out for dinner to celibrate their 50th anniversey. On the drive home the wife looked over at her husband and saw a tear escape from his eye. She asks him,"are you getting sentimental thinking of our wonderful fifty years together?" He replies,"actually I was thinking about the time before we married." "Your father threathened me with a shotgun and said he would send me to jail for fifty years if I didn't marry you." "Tomorrow, I would be free."

<What did the blind man say when somebody handed him a matza?
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Who wrote this nonsence!!?

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

Glad it didn't morph into something else.

If you can't see it try going to a friends with a PC, or a library where they have them too.
Then you can decide if you want to put it back.
Then I will let my wife check it out. May not be so bad with a warning.

A traveling salesman was lost out in the country. While driving down a dirt road he happened to notice there was a chicken running next to his car. He looked at the speedometer and saw he was doing 15 mph. As the chicken passed him he noticed it had three legs.
It was picking up speed and he tried to keep up. The chicken kept ahead of the car reaching speeds of over 50 mph. Then with a burst of speed it took off the road into the surrounding fields.
A few miles later the salesman spots a farm and decides to get directions there.
As he nears the house he sees many chickens in the yard and all of them have three legs.
So he says to the farmer, ?I see all your chickens have three legs, why is that?? The farmer answers, ?I breed them like that. Yup, I have a large family and we all love chicken. Especially the drumsticks. I breed them so there would be more to go around.?
?How do they taste,? asked the salesman. ?Don?t know,? replied the farmer, ?Ain?t never been able to catch one.?

Rudy had a pet elephant. He had raised it from a calf and was very attached to it. Now that it was grown the feeding costs were threatening to send him to the poor house. A second job was not enough to cover the costs of a pet elephant. He was afraid he was going to have to give up his beloved pet, then a money making scheme came to him.
He had seen elephants raise one leg in the air. He had seen elephants raise two feet. At the circus he had even seen one stand on one leg and raise three feet in the air…but he had never seen an elephant with all four feet in the air at the same time.
So Rudy would offer $10,000 to anybody that could get his elephant to raise all four feet in the air…but it would cost $100 to try.
He put up posters locally; he advertised in the newspapers, he went on-line and advertised there.
The word was spread. People started showing up from far and wide. They tried everything. They tried levitation. They tried meditation. They tried begging. They tried bribing. People came…people failed.
Things were going well for Rudy. His elephant was eating well.
Then one day a little blue car pulled up. Out stepped a little old man. He asked Rudy, “you will give me $10,000 if I can get your elephant to raise all four feet at the same time?” Rudy answered,” Yes, it will cost you $100 to try.”
The man gave Rudy a new $100 bill. He walked to his car and took out the tire iron. He walked to the elephant and stared into its eyes for several minutes without saying a word. He started to walk around the elephant. When he was directly behind it he hauled off and whacked its balls hard as he could with the iron.
The elephant let out a scream and leapt into the air, all four of his feet in the air. The little man collected his money and drove off in his little blue car.
Now Rudy had little of his scheme money left and his elephant was still eating. He was to the point of having to give up his pet again. Then it came to him. He had seen elephants move their heads up and down, but he had never seen one move its head from side to side. So again he advertised. $10,000 if you could get his elephant to move his head from side to side. It would cost $100 to try.
Again people started coming. Again all failed.
Rudy was doing well and his elephant not wanting for food.
Then one day up drove the little blue car. Out stepped the little old man. He walked up to Rudy and handed him a new $100 bill. He opened his trunk and took out the tire iron. He walked up to the elephant and starred into its eyes for a minute or two. The he spoke, “do you remember me?” The elephant nodded his head up and down. “Do you want me to do it again?”
Quickly, the elephant shook his head, side to side.