bouncybouncy: Thank you!

Nice to have all the support. I'm 51 going on 52 years old.

Pray that I may be lucky enough to avoid future abuse. Was abused emotionally/psychologically growing up. Have come a ways since than. In light of receiving services from institutionalised organisation need for a name of person in case of major medical decision. Only person...my abuser. My decisions are not accepted legally and thus those of abuser (Mother) take more importance. I do see myself winding up in her care/abuse if the worst case scenerio presents itself. Have talked to the secretary of the deputy who represents me provincially because the Provincial government is the employer of this organisation. She says sending me to be abused is not tolerable. Thanks in advance.

toddioprod:It is like a breath of fresh air to read this post of yours. I was involved in a religion...which will remain nameless.....which had no tolerance for the points of view of others in other religions. In the end my experience in this religion took on cultlike attributes. I am now out of it but experience bouts of lonliness and other things attributable to those having left a REAL cult. Thanks for your post. It was read by me at the most important time: NOW. Made me feel so much better. Thanks, again!

I was at a twelve step meeting tonight for the first time in a long time. Laziness was not the reason for my prolonged absence! But irregardless of the reason I was at the meeting and it closed with the Lord's/Disciples' prayer! Whenever I hear that prayer,because I don't hear it often, I'm reminded of how unforgiving I am.....even tonight as an EX Christian! Being an EX Christian doesn't allow me the right to be unforgiving or to forgive when not an ounce of energy is needed. Furthermore, I was amazed at how much stress it took to be forever unforgiving. I feel as if a load has been taken off of my shoulders by dropping all of the grudges as a result of multiple hurts leading up to 2002 and beyond.
"Forgive us our temptations....as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Reminds me of the marraige vow "To have and to cherish in sickness and health....But what happens when the sickness comes?...as in what happens when it takes energy to forgive? I quit religion for health reasons. But now that I see how brainwashed I was and how cultlike the religious experience was like at the end I am leery of going back into it too intensely and becoming brainwashed again. I am not against religion. I just have a personal fear of it.