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The witch, after hours of trying to decide whether to wear the silver slippers or ruby ones (she decided on ruby sorry Frank) soared quietly to the gingerbread and candy cottage..it took a while to go over the molasses swamp and gumdrop mountains, but she stayed the night briefly at the licorice castle where her old beau lived. In a much angrier mood, but a little glowing she landed and began to set up her wicked trap..she too knew the secrets of butter and Jam men..but the most powerful, the Mamalade mn were also her's to command. She drank some coffee and ate a couple of munchkins for brunch with her leftenet tom (a blue cat who didn't dare repeat the nickname her beau called her "witchy-poo" like that rotten flute did) and reflected in the quiet cottage among the lollipop forest just how she would lay her trap...mmmm...munchkins were good when they were fresh..powdered..jelly filled...her favorite were glazed...
Meanwhile the witch's sister plotted her revenge...she dressed in her most powerful candy-cane striped stockings and grabbed her best broomstick (a fireball 2004). With her favorite crooked hat askew and humming a song that went "fingernails, apple cores, lunch pails too...stir them in my witch's brew, I said ewwwwww..." She briefly teased the talking golden flute she kept in the cage by her bed..which she tortured whenever she could....SHe was known as the witch of the Southwest, and she was very,very naughty. "swat my sister like a fly ayeeeeee..."she grumbled happily. It was not that she liked her sister, but blood was blood. SHe remembered how her other sister had died. Shoved into an oven by two little brats...She was glad that she still had the cottage...she decided to set a trap for the small group.
Back to the party...
As Mark, the scarecrow, the tinman, the lion, and some stray mexican hairless (dog breed) that had joined them entered the woods there was a stirring.
Out of nowhere sprang a shape and before Mark knew what was happening their was a beautiful unicorn. Immediately the lion and the unicorn faced off...like two palukas in a ring...a crowd of animals appeared for an audience...the tinman fetched a bucket of water for the lion's corner...the scarcrow began to rub the lion down waiting for the next bell...and the Jabborwocky was refereeing...
"Why you're shaking lion", exclaimed Mark "And you're rumbling", he said to the tinman." "Would someone please untie me here?" asked the scarecrow impatiently. "Oh", said Mark as he walked over to the scarecrow & began to untie the ropes that bound him to the stake. "They would of toasted me if you all hadn't come along when you did." "Why, you're just about the bestest friends a scarecrow could ever want." Lion wiped a tear from his eye with the tip of his tail. "Well, no use in standing around", began Mark, "Let's blow this joint." "You're not actually going to explode the castle are you?" quivered the tinman. "No," Mark answered, "It's just an expression to leave, "Let's go." "I'm with you", blubbered the lion. "Me too", added the scarecrow. "Me three", said the tinman. "Mark smirked to himself, 'Boy what an experience this was,' he thought. Together they left the witche's castle & walked back to Oz.
Mark, then visibly shaken, thought, will I ever wake up from this twisted dream/ nightmare? It has to be a dream, it's too surreal to happen in real life. The lion asked, are you nut? You're not dreaming. I just saved all of our lives, in a rather risky way. And this is how you want to show your appreciation? I-I'm sorry, lion. I thought I was thinking that to myself. I didn't mean anything by it. Well, I could have lost my very lionhood for you, so you better show a little appreciation. Ok, said Mark. He then went over to the lion and gave him a big ol bear hug. Aw, Shucks. Said the lion. He blushed. You didn't have to do that.
Techie, in betwwen sobs said, oh alright! It's behind the giant green curtain over there. So the lion went to the curtain and yanked it back. Sure enough, there was thre nanomite. Well it was ticking down, 10, 9, 8,.... So, the only thing the lion could think to do was, hike his leg and pee on it. It was quick thinking, but it seemed to work. The nanomite was completely soaked and useless. Hooray!! shouted everyone. Lion, you saved our lives, shouted Mark. Yeah, I did, didn't I? Aw, shucks! Mark said to Techie, That's it. I'm going to make it to where you will never hurt the people of Oz, again. Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do?. I'll show you, Mark said. With that he let out a loud whistle. Just then, the flying monkies swooped down and snatched Techie up, before he even knew what was going on. I'll get you, my preppies! Soutef Techie, and off he went in the dark, gloomy sky.
Mark grabbed Techie by his lab coat and slammed him up against the wall. Where is it?, grumbled Mark. Techie screeched, I'll never tell! If you want to live another second you will spill the beans, Mark declared. You are after all, only 4 ft tall, and I can do some serious bodily injury to you. Oh, alright cried the Techie. Then he started crying and sobbing uncontrollably. Mark looked suprised and dropped Techie before he realized what he was doing. Quick, Mark said, We have less than 30 seconds to live!
just then the crashed in and in charged the scarecrows friends. " let him go" said the lion. "stay back" said the doctor "or ill make him a pile of ashes" as he held out a match. the lion circled around him. " i mean it" said the doctor. just then the lion leaped up, biting his hand and he dropped the match on the floor. yowwww he cried. where is the nanite? said the tinman.
"What do you expect to accomplish with all of your Nanotechnolgy?", yelled the scarecrow. The old man looked stunned. Scarecrow then said,"What you didn't think I knew such big words and what they meant? Did you forget I got a brain?" The old man (we'll call him Techie), then said, "No, you big dope, but in about 2 minutes this whole place is gonna explode!" Scarecrow's wheels immediately started turning. What about Mark, the lion, and yes, even the little Munchkins? How will he ever find the nanomite in time? Is there anyone out there that can help him?
" we have to save the scarecrow. who knows what trouble hes in" said the lion. " to the castle" said the tinman. so off they rushed to the castle. they arrived at the castle door and the tinman began chopping the door down. at last the door fell and they charged in. " look a trail of straw. he went that way." said the tinman. off they charged in the direction of the straw.
Soon an old man walked in, dressed in a lab coat. Well my monkey friends what have we here? A scarecrow mylord. spoke one monkey. Scarecrow found out he was the genious behind the Nano technology
"Hurray!" they all shouted as they looked up to find Mark bending down to them. "Well done!" shouted the lion. "Yes," laughed Mark "She is 'well-done'!" "Where is scarecrow?" asked Mark. "He went to the castle to get the nanotechnology data," answered the lion. "The Castle?" asked Mark, "He went alone?" "Yes," shouted the lion, as the voices stilled.....In the meantime at the castle...the wretched flying monkeys did not want to give up the secret nano data that they knew could give them power to rule Oz. They began tying up scarecrow to a stake & were threatening to set him on fire. They didn't have to speak for scarecrow to know what they were planning, he had a brain now. "Oh, now," pleaded the scarecrow, "That's not a very nice thing for you monkeys to do."
"Whoa!" "Did you all see that?" Mark asked looking down at his new friends,"That's the end of her!" Then he squinted his eyes & bent further down towards them as he thought he saw more little butter & jam men running towards his friends wearing colorful clothing. "Huh?" He questioned himself, still straining to get a better look. He heard small voices singing in unison, "Ding, dong the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding, dong the wicked witch is dead!" "Why, they're little people," began Mark, "It's the Munchkins!" Mark began to laugh hyterically. This is the funniest thing he'd thought he would ever see! The singing & dancing of the munchkins below continued. "She's gone where the goblins go! Below! Below! Below!..."
mark smashed a fireball with the tree. it flew straight at the witch and crashed into her, lighting her afire. she flew around the sky like a comet, leaving a trail of smoke behind her. at last she crashed into the ground leaving only a pile of ashes. " ding dong the witch is dead" said the lion.
The Lion knew he was
King of the forest to return to protect his subjects. Looking down at the Group "You all just stay put. Mark said in anger
Trampling down the forest Mark took a tree by its roots and batted all the witches fireballs back towards her.
The witch was riding her broom in zig zags and was throwing several fireballs at once
The Lion, Tinman and Scarecrow tried getting closer to the battle
The Scarecrow thought they best sneak into Her castle to find the plans to her Nanotech technology.
"Heh Heh Heh Heh!" cackeled the ugly witch as she threw her head back in laughter. She watched the scene below her as the human grew large and began to consume the threat of the Blob. She knew now that she was again the most powerful threat in all of Oz. With that she gathered up a fireball and threw it at the scarecrow. "How about a little fire scarecrow?" she shrieked at him. Shivering, the scarecrow watched as the fireball was heading right at him. Just then Mark caught it like a flyball and snuffed it out between his enormous fingers. The witch gulped loud as she realized the new threat of the gigantic human that stood before her. "curses", she said under her breath.
When all of a sudden the blob started oozing its way slowly towards Mark. Aw, hee! He thought to himself. "What choice do I have, but to eat it?It'll probably taste like tar or something. but I guess, anything is better tasting than that Finky Drink scarecrow gave me." So away Mark slurped. In between slurps, he thought, "Not bad, actually.Tastes like blackberry jello. Could it be blackberry jello? I guess we'll never know!"
Mark gagged on the thick, casor oil tasting drink. " Yuck! Why on Earth did you have to go and do that?" , he screamed. Then all of a sudden he felt this tremendous shiver go through his body. "What did you do to me, scarecrow?" "oh, it was just a shot of courage,so to speak.", said the scarecrow. Then all of a sudden, Mark shot up into the air. The trees started getting smaller and smaller and smaller. "I WILL NOT EAT THE BLOB!", he screamed at the top of his lungs. He screamed so loud, that you could hear him 3 towns over!
"You've got a brain now scarecrow," said the tinman, "What do you say we do?" "Well, the hypothessis is hypothetical of course, but I believe in all relativity the mass of nanotechnology can be suppressed in the matters of humanology." "What are you Mumbling?" demanded the lion. "The man has to eat the blob." answered the scarecrow. "What?" asked Mark hysterically, "How, Why?"The scarecrow lead the group back to the closet and handed Mark a bottle
"Here," began the scarecrow, I have a bottle of the 'Finky Drink'. Once you drink it you will grow enormous again & eat the blob." "Gross!" began Mark, just as the scarecrow uncapped it & poured it down his throat.
"scarecrow. good to see you again", said the tinman. "same here" said the scarecrow. "so should we go back?" said the tinman. " i dont know" said the lion "what can we do about these blobs and witches? oh my. "
" i wonder if there are tigers and bears around here", said the tinman. " keep your axe ready" said mark. soon the lion came back, and who was riding him, but none other than the scarecrow. " look who i found" said the lion.
Meanwhile, in the other world, Mark had sinced that the witch was up to no good and kept telling the Tinman that he thought the witch may cause a revengeful magic on the land of Oz and that they should go back. The tinman said they should wait for the lion to come back. So they waited.
"Oh, Curses!" wailed the wretched witch. She missed hitting the lion with the protein-enhanced grease that would have nanoized him under her command. The bottle smashed and broke on the nano-sandwich spilling its contents into the form. She knew now that Oz was in for the worst nightmare of its entire existence! As she watched from above, she saw the lion lead the tinman and another human away from her sight. 'Another human?' she questioned, but her thoughts were preoccupied for the moment. She watched frozen with emotion as the form absorbed the protein enhanced nano-grease that gave new life to its existence. She knew now that she would have no control over its power. The form began to bulge and groan and grow larger. It was now a huge mass of dark GOO that Mark would later call 'The Blob'.
Mark kept rubbing his tired eyes to try waking up from this dream. How long had he been dreaming, he should have been to work a few hours ago..all he kept thinking was he had been fired
Out the tunnel they saw the stream that was flowing and they were overlooking a valley with a village below. A mighty river flowed on the other side. "I will move ahead and check for dangered, snarled the lion. The Tinman pulled out his oil can for a refresher on his joints
Mark ran with the lion into the wardrobe along with the tinman and it was dark till they got to the end of it. "What was that all about" Asked a brefuddled Mark. Oh that's the witch from hades who has been battling the Butter and Jam people who she created. Guess she finally came out to catch them after hiring many bounty hunters. As the witch changed the sandwich into a blob The Lion, Tinman and Mark heard birds and running water from the other side of the tunnel. She won't harm us unless she finds this portal. All this Reminded Mark of his Reading all
books of Narnia
ANd then Mark saw a witch appear...a sandwich with extra mayo...two flaps of bacon hanging from her body like limp appendages...she was riding a bottle of HP sauce and had a voice like Angela Lansbury crossed with an old truck driver with a 2 pack a day habit.....and with a gross motion of her hand she flung grease at the lion who had run for the nearest wardrobe....
as the cloud grew solid, it began to flatten out, moving lower on to the ground, until at last it was comlpetely flat with the butter and jammen crushed beneath. the lion gathered all his courage and approached. " look at this" he said. " the cloud has become bread. we have here the biggest butter and jam sandwich in the world."
just then a brown cloud appered above them. swirling around into different shapes as it descended on the yellow and purple mass of butter and jam men. a kind of arm formed from them as if to ward off the amorphous cloud. but to no avail. it enveloped the mass completly and began to solidify. " what is going on?" wondered the tinman.
the butter and jam men began to climb atop each other, forming a larg mass of butter and jam. growing larger and larger. it was all purple and yellow. " if only there was nano bread" exclaimed the lion.
"I wish those tiny forms of Jam & Butter men were only imagined, began the Tinman, but they are very real & very dangerous." "How so?" Mark asked. "Have you heard of Nanotechnology ? asked the lion. Mark remembered Michael Crichton's book 'Prey', "You mean they've been genetically engineered with intelligence?" "Yes, answered the lion, the butter & jam that you purchased was 0 cholesterol & 0 fat, right?" "Yes, answered Mark, it was a new brand." "That brand was manufactured full of nanorobots designed to rid your body of fats & disease at a modular level, but unfortunately these protein-designed molecules have self-reproduced & can self assemble into any form. They change forms & they are quick as lightning because of their catalyst reactions!" "When it mixed with the food products, the nano robots mass-produced & have taken over the Kingdom of Oz."
"You said to get out of the cabin before the 'Witch' comes!" "Oh, replied the lion, "I only said that to get you moving, why everyone is afraid of witches!" "There aren't any witches here that I know of now, But it is those Butter and Jam men that we fear. Why, they're worse than those flying wretched monkeys the witch left behind when Dorothy melted her!" "How can they be so terrible?" "They're tiny forms of nothing!" "They're made out of nothing but imaginations of butter & jam! The whole thing's Ridiculous!" exploded Mark.
Running along, Mark and the lion meet up with the Tinman. He was chopping a tree for a fire for the lion and himself. "Oh my, we got company. This was more than his mind could comprehind. Mark expected to see Dorthy. "May I ask where Dorothy is?,The lion grumbled as the tinman said. "Oh Dorothy went home a year ago." Ok then where,s the Scarecrow. Lion barked" He's Mayor of Emerald City. What witch you talking about."You ask too many Questions" snarled the Lion. The other sister to the witch we killed
Mortified, Mark stood staring at the lion as if the very life had been sucked out from him. "We need to leave this place!" shouted the lion. Still Mark stood not wavering. "Come on!" Growled the lion, "We have to leave before the witch comes!" The lion took Mark by hs arm and pulled him out the door. Mark was led like a child by his mother. Everything was surreal. He marveled at the way he fit through the door as he walked under its frame. Then the words hit him. "A what?" yelled Mark, "Did you say a witch?"
All of a sudden butterman pocked him with a fork in the stomach which caused him to throw up all over the clan. Outside a lion roared. (It had to happen) all the clan were scared away as the beast broke down the door and Untied Mark. Come with me spoke the lion.
Mark read to many stories that have invaded his mind. Someting has inhansed his reading of Gulliver's travels mixed with Alice in Wonderland. (What's in store for him from reading wizard of OZ?
Mark protested, "What are you doing to me?!" They held the flask to Marks lips as he tried to turn away. It read "Drink Me" on its label. Two of the buttermen that stood on Marks neck rammed their swords into his lip. Mark let out a yell and they poured the drink down his throat. Mark sputtered & coughed. He began to feel dizzy & everything started to spin. Everything began to get larger as he began to get smaller.
With that the jammen ran toward Mark feet forming a slick pool of jam that caused him to slip & fall. Together the jam & the buttermen hoisted ropes & bound them around Mark. It happened quick as lightning & before Mark could even stop them, he realized he was their captive. The buttermen & jammen stood on Mark's chest & together they opened a flask they held in their wee small hands.
Where, lo and behold, lived the jam people. "you really didn't think we would leave without a fight, did you?", asked the jamman. Mark replied,"Well, when you left the house, yeah, I guess I kinda thought you were gone for good!" To which the jamman replied, "Well, that's what you get for thinking! HAHAHAHAHA! Wait till you see what's in sore for you!"
So, his house, Garage and the store were not really there. He had still been in strange land among the flowers. With his big feet. and watching Butterman running away into the fields. Mark had slept only a few minutes. He followed Butterman ad his friends through a path that lead to the woods. There he fell apon a log cabin..
"Hey!" Mark screamed out at them. Tripping on the ropes that bound his legs, he fell like a tower crashing to the ground. Every thing was a blur and when Mark came to his senses, he realized he was no longer in his own neighborhood. His broken house was gone and he was surrounded by a field of flowers with buttermen running all over him.
But Mark realised he had made a big mistake when Butterman and his pals started wrapping the guy ropes from the tent round his arms and legs, so tight he couldn't move.
Sticking his hands into the attic part, Mark pulled out a rolled up Tent and threw it over his head and hoping it would keep the rain from flooding his house. Butterman and his cohorts were still climbing him.
Soon Mark was so big that he grew and tore the roof off the house. Outside it was raining so the attic and first floor got wet. All of a sudden because of his weight he fell through the first floor to the base ment. All this time Butterman and his buddy's were crawling back up his legs.
"YeoWwwwww!!" Mark cried out, Something had just bit his hand! Dropping the piece of bread, he drew his hand to his face. "You don't expect to eat us without a fight first now do you?!" shouted one of the buttermen that was standing on Mark's hand. Staring in disbelief, Mark blinked hard at the reality of what he was seeing. The swiped butter had reformed itself back into the form of a little butterman. He shook the butterman off & it fell to the floor. Mark knelt down to pick up the slice of bread & saw there was not a lick of butter left on it.
So, he grabbed the nearest thing in sight, a loaf of bread! He took a piece of the bread and siped it on his leg. "well, I know what I'll be having with supper tonight!", he exclaimed.
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