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Moderator: Purple , ScarletRose 
 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



Please remember this board can be (and is) accessed by children.
All jokes should be family friendly.
No profanity
No jokes of a sexual nature

KEEP IT PG rated

Thanks!



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17. March 2010, 12:42:41
Purple 
Subject: Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Markgm:Obviously the chicken was running from Colonel Sanders. Wise choice.

2. March 2010, 19:17:33
Purple 
Subject: Re: Getting old is so much fun!
Tuesday: They say the last check you should write should be to your undertaker..and it should bounce! lol

27. February 2010, 12:44:57
Purple 
Subject: Re: Getting old is so much fun!
pgt: The up side of being 80 is that all your enemies are dead...including the doctors who told you to quit smoking.

16. August 2007, 23:53:14
Purple 
Subject: Re:
Summertop: Foxworthy rules! Princess loves him! LOL

14. August 2007, 15:07:11
Purple 
Subject: Re:
PrincessKammy72: It is great to have you back and I know you will not go poof unless you have to.

17. December 2006, 15:24:10
Purple 
Subject: Re:
Milioi: I deleted the post in the wake of two complaints sent to me. As a general rule jokes regarding religious matters are probably not a good idea.

12. November 2006, 17:59:46
Purple 
Subject: Re: PLEASE READ
mook53lhd: Rose is a Global Moderator and as such she has a responsibility to step in when the regular board mods are not on and remove posts which are outside the guidelines. I have agreed with her decisions.

29. October 2006, 17:22:44
Purple 
Subject: Re: Moderators Guidelines.
mook53lhd: Rose was merely stating the policy. The Joke Board is for the whole family and children should not be excluded from reading it. Parents should be able to allow their kids to read it without pre-screening it..that's what the Mods are for. The egg joke reprsents the absolute upper limit of what we can tolerate. And it was a close call.

1. May 2006, 14:14:25
Purple 
Subject: Re:
The Usurper: Escaped convicts?

23. November 2005, 01:10:01
Purple 
Subject: Reminder
Jokes that are not suitable for the entire family will be deleted.

14. September 2005, 00:09:54
Purple 
Subject: For Everyone
Imagine someone's 11 yr. old daughter asking her mom if she can log on and read the jokes on the BK Joke Board. Does your joke allow her to say "yes" and feel comfortable? Thanks for understanding.

29. August 2005, 04:07:18
Purple 
Subject: Re:
ScarletRose: There are some very cute "You Might Be A Redneck If.." jokes by Jeff Foxworthy I would like to post but I don't want to offend any rednecks. Also lawyer jokes. Do the readers have any feedback on this?

28. August 2005, 16:31:41
Purple 
Subject: Re:
Fwiffo: Even a limited amount of gallows humor is OK but some consideration needs to be given to the person who clicks on the Joke Board in hopes of finding a joke and instead finds a boring and esoteric chat board in progress. My thanks to those who continue to provide jokes.

27. August 2005, 22:16:45
Purple 
Subject: Re:
Fwiffo: Depends on the mental age of the viewer at any given time.

27. August 2005, 21:42:28
Purple 
Subject: Re:
Fwiffo: The jokes are not dirty so there is no need to remove them but understand the area is very sensitive to discuss here. The very few people who are amused have to be weighed against the large group who don't get it and those who take offense. Again, try General Chat.

27. August 2005, 19:50:29
Purple 
Subject: Re:
Fwiffo: This is the Joke Board and not appropriate for Gothic discussion. Try General Chat.

3. August 2005, 01:53:49
Purple 
Subject: Re: Baby Boomer Songs.
TarantinoFan: Ouch. That's close to home! LOL

20. June 2005, 02:14:42
Purple 
Subject: Re: global please
morphy4ever: People as young as ten read this DB regularly. If you need further clarification send me a PM. Thank you.

20. June 2005, 01:41:01
Purple 
Subject: Re: global please
morphy4ever: We must exclude the jokes on this DB that have too much adult content.

24. May 2005, 14:46:58
Purple 
Subject: Re:
ClayNashvilleTn: LOL. Properly used the purple one is all you need. I got this straight from Dr. Purple.

15. May 2005, 03:03:20
Purple 
Subject: Re: Tuesday:
danoschek: Please limit posts to jokes and not esoteric one on one chat. Thank you.

27. April 2005, 21:52:53
Purple 
Subject: Re: "Thats Enough"
skipinnz: It has been said that his jokes are "moldy" if that helps. LOL

27. April 2005, 21:39:09
Purple 
Subject: Re: "Thats Enough"
ClayNashvilleTn: I needed one more co-moderator. I wanted someone who was fair, intelligent, honest and with a sense of humor. I couldn't find anyone like that so I appointed Clay.

27. April 2005, 14:44:53
Purple 
Subject: Re: Re:
bumble: When two groups are offended in one joke that is an achievement. LOL. I thought it was mild and clever but if there is outrage among the mentally ill perhaps we can ban it afterall.

27. April 2005, 14:27:13
Purple 
Subject: Re:
Jason: LOL. Very good!

18. April 2005, 13:30:31
Purple 
Subject: Please Remember
This board is read by people of all ages. Please post accordingly. Thank you.

24. March 2005, 21:09:52
Purple 
Subject: Re:
tazman7474: Or those taken hostage by it. LOL

11. March 2005, 01:46:21
Purple 
Subject: Re: Heaven
skipinnz: THAT was funny!!!!

11. February 2005, 14:13:40
Purple 
I should check this DB more often. I always assume this DB would be fairly free from pawn invasion type attacks. I would like pawns to be able to tell jokes here as well as everyone else but this is a family oriented joke board so violaters will be swiftly dealt with. First obscene post gets deleted, second time we will give you a month ban to think it over.

12. November 2004, 14:03:10
Purple 
Subject: Harley
She has agreed to serve as co-moderator here and will help enforce the standard of family friendly jokes and on topic posts. Thanks Harley and we request the co-operation of those posting.

31. October 2004, 21:26:03
Purple 
Subject: Re:
No

31. October 2004, 21:20:13
Purple 
Subject: Re: BBW
Modified by Purple (31. October 2004, 21:21:30)
The obscene posts have been deleted and the posters banned or hidden. I can only go so fast.

21. September 2004, 19:32:13
Purple 
Subject: Re:
If you say "I'm lying" and you ARE lying then you are telling the truth about lying.

11. September 2004, 01:48:59
Purple 
Subject: Re: The funniest video ever made... with absoultion.
Howard Stern interviewed William Shatner this morning on his radio show. Shatner was pomoting a new album due to be released in October and they played clips. It was embarassing. Sooooooo bad.

14. August 2004, 04:36:13
Purple 
Subject: Re: Dear John Response letter
LOL. I would like to shake his hand. Semper Fi

13. July 2004, 22:52:22
Purple 
Subject: Re: Re:
Let's see if Princess gets any more complaints.

13. July 2004, 17:47:33
Purple 
Subject: Re:
Wow..that bad? Should we delete it? Kam would like opinions since she can't see it either. It must be something!!

13. July 2004, 13:49:57
Purple 
Subject: Re:
We still can't see it but it must be OK. One guy wrote he was afraid it would cause heart attacks. Don't want any of those. :)

13. July 2004, 01:56:03
Purple 
Subject: Re: I would like to know who will be first! :D
The link is a white screen on my webtv Luis. Maybe people with a pc can pull it up. There seems to have been an objection but we can't figure out what it's about.

11. July 2004, 19:35:08
Purple 
Subject: You Know It's A Bad Day When..
 Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels.
The worst player on the golf course wants to play you for money.
You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
You get to work and find a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
Your 4-year-old tells you that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
You realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.
You discover that your 12-year-old's idea of humor is putting crazy glue in your Preparation H.
You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
You start to put up the clothes you wore home from the party last night....... and there aren't any.
It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.
You wake up to the soothing sound of running water...and remember that you just bought a waterbed.
Your car payment, house payment, and girlfriend are three months overdue.
Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/ex-husband.
Your income tax refund check bounces.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
You compliment the boss' wife on her unusual perfume and she isn't wearing any.
You need one bathroom scale for each foot.
You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.
The restaurant check has been on the table for ten minutes...and no one has touched it.
Nothing you own is actually paid for.
You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party for your new spouse.
You receive a 150 page instruction booklet on how to save money...from the electric company.
Airline food starts to taste good.
Your mother approves of the person you are dating.
Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to chocolate chip cookies.
You have to borrow from your VISA to pay off your MASTERCARD.
You realize that you have memorized the back of your cereal box.
Your cat abandons the nice box you prepared for her and has her kittens in your dresser drawer.
Everyone loves your driver's license picture.
You realize that the phone number on the bathroom wall of the bar is yours.
Your kids start treating you the same way you treated your parents.
The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.
You look out the window of the airplane and the B.F. Goodrich Blimp is gaining on you.
The gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.
People think you are 40...and you really are.
You are pigging out at McDonald's by yourself and the manager orders the numbers on the sign outside changed.
Your new lover calls to tell you "Last night was terrific." and you remember that you were home by yourself.
Everyone is laughing but you.

7. July 2004, 03:39:01
Purple 
Subject: More Redneck
Modified by Purple (7. July 2004, 03:42:00)
<A Redneck died and left his wife his estate in trust but she can't touch it until she is 14. > Redneck hotel..the guy calls the front desk and says "I've got a leak in the sink" and the desk clerk says "Go ahead." > A Northern girl and a Southern girl are seated together on an airplane. The southern girl says "Where ya'll from?" and the northern girl says "don't you know better than to end a sentence wth a preposition?" so the southern girl says "ok, where ya'll from bitch??" > what do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room? A full set of teeth.

5. July 2004, 14:59:58
Purple 
Subject: Re:
LOL. I got my car there. Made it 2 blocks before the smoke started.

5. July 2004, 14:35:44
Purple 
Subject: Re: You Might Be A Redneck If:
Your AAA Road Service card is called Jumper Cables.

4. July 2004, 15:53:10
Purple 
Subject: Re:
Just show her some respect and Kammy won't ban anybody. Take your issues up with me somewhere else.

2. July 2004, 20:59:25
Purple 
Subject: Re: Latest and Funniest Joke I have yet to hear
Modified by Purple (3. July 2004, 00:00:19)
Let him dream hun. BTW I get phone calls from Brittany Spears and Jennifer Lopez every night. LOL. (although yours are all I ever want or need baby) :)

29. June 2004, 18:23:27
Purple 
Subject: Re: Laughture
And there is none brighter than yours Kam my dear

20. May 2004, 13:46:48
Purple 
Subject: Re: definitions
More truth than poetry Harley. LOL

14. September 2003, 01:56:17
Purple 
Subject: Re: Why Johnny Couldn't Add
LOL. Outstanding

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