Jane had been driving 16 hours straight and was still at least six hours away from her destination. It was almost eight o'clock in the morning and she was very tired.
After dozing off and nearly crashing into a telephone pole, she decided to pull onto a side road and rest.

Jane turned off the car and closed her eyes ... drifting off to sleep, precious sleep ...

When an old man in a bright blue jogging suit knocked on her window, scaring her half to death.

"Sorry to wake you," he huffed, jogging in place. "But can you tell me what time it is?"

Jane glanced at her watch. "8:15," she said through the glass.

The old man thanked her, then left.

"Just my luck," she muttered. "I'm parked on someone's jogging route."

With a sigh, she settled back into her seat and tried to fall asleep.

Two male joggers in their thirties knocked on her window. If she hadn't been dead tired, she would have found them cute. Now, they were just annoying.

"Hi," the blond jogger said.

"Do you have the time?" his brown-haired friend asked.

Jane sighed and looked at her watch. "8:19," she said.

"Thanks," they said, then jogged off.

Jane looked down the road and saw more joggers coming her way. Irritated, she retrieved a pen from the glove box and scrawled 'I DO NOT KNOW THE TIME' on the back of a magazine. She put the hastily constructed sign in the window and settled back to sleep.

A thin, pale jogger knocked on the window just as she started dozing off.

Jane pointed at the sign and shouted, "Can't you read?"

To which he replied, "Sure I can, ma'am. I just wanted to let you know: It's

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster.
In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.

As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in me!"

"Come on God, give me a break!!," the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!

pgt:So you are part of my company. before you speak!

When a man talks dirty to a woman it is considered harrassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man it is $3.95 a minute

A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, "Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?"

The father replied, "It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean."

With that, the father went to the telephone an dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, "Hello, is Melvin there?"

The man answered, "There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don't you learn to look up numbers before you dial them?"

"See," said the father to his daughter. "That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something, and we annoyed him. Now watch . . ."

The father dialed the same number again. "Hello, is Melvin there?" asked the father.

"Now look here!" came the heated reply. "You just called this number, and I told you that there is no Melvin here! You've got a lot of nerve calling again!" The receiver was slammed down hard.

The father turned to his daughter and said, "You see, that was anger. Now I'll show you what exasperation means."

He dialed the same number, and a violent voice roared, "HELLO!"

The father calmly said, "Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?"

A robber about to steal a TV hears, "Jesus is watching." He pauses, sees nothing, continues and hears again, "Jesus is watching." Spying a parroot in the corner the robber asks, "Who are you?" "Clarence," replied the bird. Almost to himself the robber asks "Who would name a parrot Clarence?" To which the bird replied, "The same guy who would name a Rottweiler Jesus

Orilia Ontario has a huge Cannon as well as tree's planted for the people that have died for this Country with a plaque on every tree for every individual.Then the root joined underground and united intermigling with the speed of sound.:o)

You still haven'nt told me how long the Rope or string is,without using a tape guide.Ask long Jonh he has the so called big IQ.It could be any length if you find the centre it's double the length from middle of the string to the end. :o)

How long is a Rope.LJ failed,can anyone answer that one.LOL :o)

I like Women and can get them,could you kindly stop interupting me,oh is that a noun or a verb the can't see the Universe.LOL stars up.

When does the circus start,i can't wait,i thought that Christmas just passed,i wonder who Santa is this year,is he still alive i heard through the grape vine,that bozo's got to go.