Vikings: 7 of them do stand up, and Bono and Neilson are sadly dead.I love Leary, not sure he's conservative though........Mel Gibson is a stand up comic? to some I guess

Republican = Party

Conservative = principles and philosophy

Artful Dodger: I was speaking of stand up comics, I expanded the list to make it easier for you.I gave my opinion as to my fave,who I consider the best.I think if you check earnings for stand up comics you will get a better indication of the public opinion

The Col: You also doubted that any conservative comics were making a living at stand up. You were proven wrong on that point.

And money is NOT an indicator of who is best. It may be an indicator of who is best known, or who has the best manager.

Next we'll be rating our sports figures according to their income and not their stats.

The Col: I thought he was a singer.. ex Sonny and Cher.

(V): When you address any issues or themes from my posts, even though you don't respond to me directly, you're still responding to me.

It's only a thinly veiled attempt at ignoring me but it's far to obvious.

(V): As is frequently the case, you don't know what you are talking about, as far as what goes on HERE.

rod03801: exactly

rod03801: That I see the conservatives on HERE playing the race card whenever anybody disagrees with them.

(V): Prove it. show us where that has happened. Bet ya can't.

I see a little green dot. I knew ya couldn't prove it!

That I see the conservatives on HERE playing the race card whenever anybody disagrees with them.

Another way of saying this that that every time someone disagrees with a conservative, the conservative plays the race card.

Since the liberals on here almost ALWAYS disagree with conservative points of view, then what Jules is saying is that in ALL THESE CASES, the race card is played.

That of course is a patently false statement.

Artful Dodger: you want to get into a philosophical discussion regarding art? I posed the question to you anyway, you had one unknown and a cue card reader.The general public is the only indicator of what sells, and the conservative stand ups are not very high on the list.My personal fave was not filling arenas at any point in NA,but my question was not based on personal faves, that's an entirely diff beast

The Col: cue card reader? You have him mixed up with your hero obama.

Now Stewart reads a monitor.

And you tried to claim that no one listens to conservative standups. You were proven wrong. Not once, but over a dozen time. But yet you keep coming back for more.

27. August 2011, 12:38:49The Col (hide)all posts | show thread | link- cloak mode (?) -
Subject: Re: laughatliberals
Artful Dodger: Mine, and everyone elses apparently.Can you name a successful right wing comic? and if you mention Dennis Miller, his career has tanked in the stand up forum
Reply (box)

**I name several here. That was you ONLY requirement. I said they made their living at comedy. Period.

Later you said "funny is funny." That must only apply to liberal funny in your book?

Artful Dodger: Leno doesn't read cue cards?

I said nobody? don't be silly, family and friends count

The Col: Leno wasn't my example.

The Col: Artful Dodger show this user posts | show thread | linkSubject: Re: laughatliberals
The Col: http://www.timhawkins.net

Artful Dodger: You're like a puppy who never tires of chewing on a slipper til next time

The Col:

Famous World Ideologies, as explained by references to Cows
25/08/2010


Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.
Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
Real World Communism: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most “ability” and who has the most “need”. Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.


Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
Perestroika: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the “free” market.
Cambodian Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Militarianism: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
British Democracy: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps’ brains and they go mad. The government doesn’t do anything.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
Pure Anarchy: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
Pure Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Capitalism: You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral.
Enviromentalism: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
Political Correctness: You are associated with (the concept of “ownership” is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently – aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Source: Alien Times

Kerri Pomarolli
And no foul language! (most liberal comics can't tell a joke without an f bomb here or there)
No dirty suggestive sexual remarks (a hallmark of the libs)
Just good clean extremely funny comedy!

Col, you can have your slipper back now.

As a Comedian...

Michael Joiner is funny. Very funny.1st Place winner of the Hollywood Improv's "FUNNIEST COMIC IN L.A." 2008, and 2010 Christian Music Hall of Fame "COMEDIAN OF THE YEAR" nominee, Joiner has attracted wide praise for his routines that blend a sarcastic edginess with a devotion to clean humor. Joiner has headlined at The LA AREA Improvs, The Funny Bone, The Ice House and other comedy clubs across the country while also performing at colleges and sold out Clean Comedy Concerts nationwide. He's also written for "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno."

Michael has been performing nationwide for over 18 years and is rated one of the nation's funniest Clean Stand up Comedians. The TV Guide Network calls Michael "One of the funniest, most original, stand up Comedians working today!"



In 2006, Michael was one out of only four Comedians chosen worldwide to star in the top selling DVD, "The Clean Stand Up Comedy Tour."



Michael has also starred in the Hit Comedy TV show "Bananas," as well as The Gospel Music Channel"s "Stand up for Clean Comedy."



Michael currently writes for many stand up comedians, as well as his 13-year-old comedian son, Dustin Joiner, who has appeared on "America's Most Talented Kids," as well as major comedy clubs, like "The Hollywood Improv," and New York City's "The Laugh Factory."



Unlike most Comedians who stick to their rehearsed script,Michael's stand up comedy show includes some of the most clever, hilarious improv and audience interaction you will ever experience.



As an Actor...

Michael lived and worked in Los Angeles for several years where he private coached with John Swanbeck (Kevin Spacey's acting coach), and studied with some of Hollywood's "A" list acting teachers who instilled in Michael a solid preparation and reading technique that have made Michael"s performances impressively real. Michael also worked in many national TV commercials, as well as starring in several movie and TV projects.



Michael's most impressive credit to date has him playing the lead role opposite Oscar winner Louis Gosset, Jr. In SONY/PROVIDENT's powerful new drama, "The Grace Card," released in theaters 2/25/11 (www.thegracecardmovie.com) where Michael is receiving rave reviews from critics like The Hollywood Reporter who said, "Actor-comedian Michael Joiner delivers a POWERFULLY INTENSE PERFORMANCE as 'Mac' MacDonald in The Grace Card!"

So how many liberal stand ups could do their comedy completely clean and still make it?

Ramadan Bombathon
2011 Scorecard

Day 29
In the name of
The Religion
of Peace

172 attacks and 762 dead bodies

In the name of
All other
Religions

ZERO

By
"Anti-Muslim"
Right-Wingers
Terror Attacks
ZERO

Republican presidential hopefuls Gov. Rick Perry and Mitt Romney will be in San Antonio this week for the Veterans of Foreign Wars national convention, but for the first time in its 112-year history, no one from the White House has committed to making an appearance[...]

“When the President is unable to attend, it has always been customary for the White House to choose a high-level administration official as an alternative speaker,” wrote Richard Eubank, the group's national commander, in a statement.

“It is an insult of the highest magnitude that for the first time in the history of the VFW, the White House has apparently decided that this great and iconic organization of combat veterans and all of its members are not worthy of its notice by not at least offering a first-tier speaker from the administration.”


Shakes head in disgust

Yesterday, Rashid Khalidi, Noam Chomsky, Ali Abunimah and others release a video urging the Obama Administration to free Gaza and allow bombs to be imported by the Hamas terror group.


So does that make them terrorists too?

In 2008 The LA Times withheld a video that contained footage of Barack Obama celebrating with a group of Palestinians who were openly hostile towards Israel. Barack Obama reportedly even gave a toast to a former PLO operative, Rashid Khalidi, at this celebration.

This was something the LA Times hid from the American public before the election. The media refused to release the video.

There were also reports that terrorists Bill Ayers and his wife Bernadine Dohrn were at the same Jew-bash. Khalidi was thought to be connected to the PLO.Last year the anti-Israel radical raised cash for a ship named “The Audacity of Hope” to smash through the Gaza Blockade. Well they finally raised enough cash and the American ship is ready to join this year’s Gaza-bound Freedom Flotilla 2.

(V): Of course you would say that (about global warming), but I doubt you are saying it for the same reason people closer to the top of the money chain are saying it. There's a lot of money to be made in the hope that enough people buy into the so called global warming "crises". I doubt you are part of that group hoping to personally gain from it, which begs the question,, just why are you so eager to believe almost anything you hear coming from your own masters, the left leaning profit mongers?

Iamon lyme: He's probably going to ignore you like he's trying to ignore me. He thinks you're me in a multi nic account. ~sigh~

Artful Dodger: Aw come on, we WANT him to believe we are same person.. don't we? I don't mind that he does, I think it's funny. Doesn't matter, he doesn't believe anything we, er, I mean I say anyway. heh heh heh heh heh..

Iamon lyme: It's a comliment for me. You know more stuff than I know. You'd think people could see the difference. But I've been mistaken for others too. Those turned out to be wrong too!

Vikings: Too funny. After all these years of SETI and not one signal. There's not one "out there." The lights (stars) are on but no one's home."

There is however a likely hood of creatures that live below the surface of the earth and these creatures may unleash the lava underground and wipe us out that way. I saw real pictures of these creatures once (in the movie Time Machine). I know they were real and not fake because I saw them on TV.

Vikings: .. If Aliens come to this solar system they would just raid the other 99% of the solar system. Why waste the time to blow up some race when it'll do it itself if it gets too stoooopid

Top stylists from New York to Hollywood told me their liberal clients are guiltily requesting the Bachmann Look.

"A lot of clients have asked for Sarah Palin hair in the past four years, and now, it's Bachmann," says Andi Scarbrough of Byu-ty Hair Therapy in L.A. "Politicians are the new celebrities, because they're real. They didn't just spring up out of the red carpet."

However, she admits, "I have women who come in with photos with the face cut out sometimes."

"She has great coppery color that warms her up a little bit," said Angelo David at his E. 43rdSt. salon, who confirmed a spike in copycat requests for the candidate's look. "Not everybody wants to look like Kim Kardashian."

Bachmann's style "is safe, but not soccer mom. It's sexy," said Alma Qeraxhiu at her AlmaG Salon and Spa on E. 21st. St.

"I have found it a little bit amazing how many women have been coming in asking for her hair style, even though they don't agree with her politics."

Michele Bachmann's hair has great crossover appeal.

One in four Dems want to dump Obama
Rick Moran




It's about 15% higher than what you would normally get in a re-election year, but it is still significant because dissatisified people don't usually vote. If just 2-3% fewer voters turn out for the president, and the GOP nominee gets the same percentage as McCain, it makes re-election very difficult for Obama.

The US government has wasted $30bn (£18bn) in contracts in Afghanistan and Iraq over the last decade, according to a bi-partisan spending commission.

The commission on wartime contracting blamed an over-reliance on contractors, poor planning and fraud for the waste. It had evidence of lax accountability and inadequate competition, it said.

Writing in the Washington Post, the report's authors warn that investments in the two countries could be wasted even after US involvement there ends. Among the examples cited was a $40m prison for Iraq that the country did not want and was never completed.

US-funded projects in those two countries also risk going to waste because host governments are unable or unwilling to sustain them.

In one case, $300m was poured into a sophisticated power plant in Kabul which the Afghan government will not be able to run, and a programme worth $11.4bn of facilities for the Afghan national security forces is likely to be unsustainable.

The commission's report is due to be published on Wednesday but its authors, who include former government officials and lawmakers, have already published an opinion piece in the Washington Post, blaming both the government and contractors for the waste.

The article makes the obvious recommendation to be more rigorous when deciding whether a project should be contracted out but it also recommends cancelling or modifying projects that are not sustainable.

Beyond just a disservice to taxpayers, the report says that the waste fosters corruption in host countries and diminishes the standing and influence of the US.

...Bad accounting, bad planning and fraud... That's what you get when you trust private contractors

Artful Dodger: "You know more stuff than I know."

I thought it was the other way around. You are smarter than I am, but if you say I know more stuff then who am I to argue.. heh heh heh heh heh..

I was discussing aliens with someone a few years ago, then someone else I knew walked up to us, so I asked him, "What do you think? What do the aliens want?" He said, "They want our jobs." I don't think he knew exactly what we were talking about, but maybe he stumbled onto to something.. Maybe the aliens (from outer space) do want our jobs.. and our women. I mean, look at them. How attractive could their own women be? I have a better theory though (don't we all?). I think earth is merely a rest stop on their way to somewhere else.. [ Next Rest Stop 11.5 Lightyears ]

On our news this morning there was an item saying that 9% of the american public over 50 years of age go to bed at night "HUNGRY" because they cant afford to buy food....???

Really???

Iamon lyme: Yes, and when they get to where they are going they often say that the earth is a nice place to visit, but they wouldn't want to live here.

Bernice: I'm not sure what the numbers are. But it would be naive to suppose the percentage would be at zero. I suspect that there are plenty of kids going to bed hungry as well. It's not just an American problem.

If true, the first question I ask is this: What the hell are their kids doing? It's not the job of the government to pick up the slack for every social woe. Families need to take care of families.

Next, what is the church doing?

How about the community?

Finally, the State. There should be some safety nets.

That said, a guy named Johnny quits school when he's 17. He works odd jobs and never tries to finish his education. He can't get a good paying job. He gets into drugs and that sucks up all his money. By the time he's 50, he's living on the street and going to bed hungry.

Along the way, Johnny did nothing to help himself. He CHOSE his life. He CHOSE to be poor and homeless and hungry.

This is often the case.

They did a study where they gave a homeless guy 100,000 dollars to see what he'd do. He blew it all away. Gave it away or spent it foolishly. He was once again homeless and broke. Should the State now spend thousands more of taking care of this idiot?

Artful Dodger: I agree with all of what you have said, and as has been said below....the apples don't fall far from the tree.
I just wondered if nearly 10% of the population are in this predicament :(
but then as you say it is probably everywhere.

Bernice: I don't think it's that high but I'll see what I can find.

There are some that are truly deserving of help. Then others who need a kick start in life. And others are so self-destructive that no matter the help, they prefer the rut.

Bernice: Hunger Study 2010



Hunger Study 2010



Hunger in America 2010 is the largest study of domestic hunger, providing comprehensive and statistically-valid data on our emergency food distribution system and the people Feeding America serves. Hunger in America 2010 is extremely detailed, drawing on data from more than 61,000 interviews with clients and surveys of 37,000 feeding agencies.
The report shows that hunger is increasing at an alarming rate in the United States, and our network is expanding its reach in response:
•Feeding America is annually providing food to 37 million Americans, including 14 million children. This is an increase of 46 percent over 2006, when we were feeding 25 million Americans, including 9 million children, each year.
•That means one in eight Americans now rely on Feeding America for food and groceries.
•Feeding America's nationwide network of food banks is feeding 1 million more Americans each week than we did in 2006.
•Thirty-six percent of the households we serve have at least one person working.
•More than one-third of client households report having to choose between food and other basic necessities, such as rent, utilities and medical care.
•The number of children the Feeding America network serves has increased by 50 percent since 2006.