redfrog: Not many things are more sacred than your pin number

Stardust: Ooh, Leave it to me to not even think of the backseat!

Walter Montego:

Actually, if you were to have a blind person as a passenger and went through the atm backwards, they could use the machine, what I always wondered was how do they know what the screen says? lol

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.

"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song, "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: "Run Forrest, run."

Just a friendly reminder to keep all jokes family friendly

JackS: Personaly, I was hoping it would just fade away on it's own!

JackS: I remember the joke and I remember you taking it rather well when it got deleted! lol

crosseyed: I wasn't picking on you at all. There have been a few questionable jokes posted in the recent past, I was just trying to say that limits were being pushed. I didn't delete or modify the joke. I didn't even ask you to change it.

maybe we're getting just a little beyond what should be on this board?

rednaz23: Exelent link! Gotta love it! and i want to hear the explanation to the insurance company!

nobleheart: I sure know how the cat feels! lol

Maxxina: Now that is a mighty steed indeed! lol

Sarah1980: I triple checked my e-mail! nothing in there! Must be a glitch with yahoo or something! lol

lisa56: cute!

TarantinoFan: i noticed that too! i think despite is the word you're looking for! lol, and someone should say that we're just having a little fun at Dancers expense! no harm intended, at least from me! lol

ClayNashvilleTn: alan is a pawn and can't delete posts!

INVENTORAMF: it looks like it fits in rather nicely to me!!

playBunny: lol just think corn log!

playBunny: look in the toilet after you eat a bunch of sweet-corn! you'll understand it! lol

Ogopogo: roflmao

pgt: the ummmm... un-sober half!

Stress is for people who believe in reality!