Haridaspal: ahhh you have got me on that one - i will ask the person that sent it to me originally lol

A woman is granted 3 wishes but there is one catch, her husband will get 10 times whatever she wishes for.
Her first wish is to be the most beautiful woman on earth, the genie says "you do realise that this will make your husban 10 times more attractive than you", "yes" she says "but i will be the most beautiful woman so he will only have eyes for me"

Her second wish is to be very rich, "you do realise your husband will be 10 times richer than you dont you" replies the genie, "yes" she says "but i will be rich too so he will still want me"

"what is your third wish" asks the genie,

"To have a mild heart attack" replies the woman




i sure feel sorry for her hubby now lol

Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.
He immediately turns to her and makes his move.

"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a
conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the
guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy, smiling. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff --grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know poop?

King Reza: lol oh ok

King Reza: lol glad you liked it but it was sent to me by an American friend - so the Britts cant take credit for it unfortunately lol

TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE."

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.

AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, "YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!"

"DEAD?" SAYS HIS FRIEND, "WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?"

"WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER."

HIS FRIEND SAYS, "COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH."

"A WITCH, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?"

"WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW

Thad: think about it - if all the men started clapping they must of let go of the rope to do that therefore falling off

11 PEOPLE ON A ROPE

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, otherwise they were all going to fall.

They were unable to decide who would let go, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband, her kids and for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with very little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.