then he added, "by the way, do you know the Doctor...I think he's with the Queen."
"Who?" asked Tom in shock...feeling that Kirk had escaped more than one fictional account before into others....
"Exactly," responded Kirk.

Skyking: and in the midst of it all was James T. Kirk..reading from a book called Tekwars.
Kirk paused and the spoke the words he'd remember for the rest of his life "We..werejust...going to go swimming in...mynewpool."

He safely waited hours before he left the barn. Late afternoon the sky was clear and seems all life had vanisheed..no humans, the slautered cows and animals

Tom went to the barn and weved his way into the demolished structure. Plugging his ears with his fingers and shutting his eyes, he wanted to drown out his senses to the horror going on outside.

Tickwater sliped the glowing object into his pocket as th Queen led him to her castle.

Skyking: He got tired of doing silly commercials LOL

Tuesday:LOL

Tuesday:

The Doctor, on one of his trips about the year 2268 learned about not interfering in someones world when he met up with a chap name James Kirk

The dwarf came upon a Queen who noticed the glowing object that Tickwater had in his hand. The Doctor feeling upset by this incounter but could not let himself be seen by Tickwater or this Queen.

The Birth of Religion

(This piece was developed from a mail I received a few years ago from a friend in Kerala.)

Religion today has become a major player in world politics. People are using the ‘Religion’ card everywhere to gain political advantage. From terrorists to local councillors, everyone is invoking religion to muster support. The actual role of religion in one’s life is gradually becoming irrelevant. Time is ripe, perhaps, to have a close look at religion in general, and history of religion in particular, to get a clear picture.

To understand religion, one must first understand legion. Before you ask why, let me remind you that everything has to have a root. Like beer. Or arrow. There is a school of thought that believes that legion is the root of religion. This is the school I attended once, albeit intermittently.

In Roman times soldiers were formed into legions. In those days men couldn't count too well. Thus ‘legions’ came to mean ‘many’, irrespective of the actual number of men in the Roman ‘Legion’. A ‘legionary’ was the leader of a ‘legion’. Why it would be so is one of those unsolved mysteries of history.

Legionnaire seems to be the French form of legionary, but it isn’t. It simply implies one belonging to a legion. The most famous Legionnaire of all times is of course Legionnaire Beau Peep. This little Beau Peep never had any sheep to lose. Thus when he lost sleep he couldn’t count sheep. Owing to his quaint French accent, one can imagine him saying "lost sheep" when referring to any vessel passing through the Bermuda triangle, but that is quite irrelevant to our serious discussion of today.

Legionnaires, too, sometimes had their legions to lead. They would lead until it was time to take French leave. Thus, as the French leaves piled up, a thorough record had to be maintained. This led to the birth of a study of legion in ancient Mesopotamia or thereabouts. All this study material was neatly stored in a folder marked Re: Legion. Needless to say, this led, albeit indirectly, to the birth of religion. Obviously, some scribe must have misspelled ‘Relegion’ when translating the folder from Latin. The rest, as they say, is history.

It is well known that Karl Marx described religion as the opiate of the masses. This assertion only reveals Marx’s pathetic lack of experience in the subtle nuances of opium based hallucinogens. In this respect one would do well to remember the not-so-famous saying of the other Marx, Groucho, "Legion is the Mass of the Opiates." There is no record of Groucho ever having said this, but who else could have made such a statement? This one small sentence draws at once a vivid and descriptive picture of the Roman Legion, the Chinese Opium War and Einstein’s Theory of Relative Mass Movement. If you ask how, well that’s another unsolved mystery.

Historically ‘hysteria’ is another word that can easily be linked to ‘mass’, ‘opium’ and ‘religion’. However no one has to date linked hysteria with legion. If we do so we get ‘stampede’ under Roman boots. That is not too significant by itself but if you only consider the undeniable fact that Roman cobblers made Roman boots then perhaps you see the light. If and when you do, you can explain it to me, I can’t make head or tail of all this.

Coming back to legions, legionnaires and legionaries, leghorn has absolutely nothing to do with legion. Yet legions had to be fed; as the well known adage states, you cannot fight on an empty stomach. So one can imagine legions of leghorns marching down the Roman trade routes, with their own legionaries perhaps, to be methodically converted to Chicken Sicilian. Until the advent of Bird Flu, at least.

Leg irons are another example of ancient Roman militarism. You have perhaps noticed that leg irons are nothing but legions with an ‘space’ and a ‘r’ within. Which is most interesting, to say the least. However all that is beyond the scope of our present discourse, so we shall move on to the next important item.

As we have already established, legions gave birth to religions, and thank God they did! Because religions gave birth to holidays. To think how many holidays would have been lost if it were not for religions, especially in India, makes one shudder in awe and bewilderment. And of course it goes without saying so I shall go without saying anything further.

Eriisa:

Congrats Groucho! you old reprobate, you!

Kewlness Groucho Way to Go!

baddessi: ;) thanks baddessi

hey we got a monkey for a mod! : )
Congrats Groucho and good luck with the board

The poor dwarf couldn't figure why this Doctor Who and companion were following him, yet he kept hiding behind trees and bushes.

ΜīήďSрŷ: well, i hope you enjoyed. i worked on it for quite sometime.

I guess I better start telling some jokes!
Because...man...nevermind...

There was a man, an arrogant man, his name was Honorificabilitudinitatibus.
There was also another man, his name was, Floccinaucinihilipilification.
Honorificabilitud
initatibus,
was a proud man, Floccinaucinihilipilification was more contradictive, and disliked Honorificabilitudinitatibus. So they sat at the end of a dock one day. This day was boring for the both of them. A bird flys from the apex of a tree, landing next to the two, her name was Élan, she says,
“Can I solve this onus, minatory, stygian, making Gemutlich?"

The angst of Honorificabilitudinitatibus came. But! Before the water at their feet swam a fish, his name was Contretemps, he said to Honorificabilitudinitatibus, and Floccinaucinihilipilification, "The both of you are being rather hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian."

MindSpy :0)

Rose:

How about giving someone new a chance?

Tuesday would be good!!

This board is looking for a Co-mod
Send a PM to me if you want to apply.

Tickwater came out from behind his tree and went back to the babbling brook and continued to walk along it's bank.

Reaching the safety of the trees, he waved to his friends to come on.

Tickwater watched, wondering if he was somehow in the Twilight Zone. Maybe he was asleep? He wished he hadn't eaten that cheese sandwich just before going to bed the night before. 'ouch' he whispered, as he pinched himself.

As they approached the shoreline, the scaley creatures crouched, looking round cautiously. One kept low to the ground as he made a run for the woods.

Tuesday:

Good day to you, my sweet Lady. My but you spin a good yarn!

Skyking:

Further out at sea, a small fort sat in the shipping lane. Around the base, movement could just be seen as creatures swam near the surface of the water towards the shore.

"this is not the time we are suppose to be at, Doctor'Explained Sarah. " I know that, The tartis is having a malfunction. Tickwater wondered who these things were and hid behind a large tree.

He came out of his slumber looking up at a starlite night. "How long had he been out?" He wondered and there between the rocks the object still sat. Tickwater didlodged the object and studied it. Some kind of Christal.

The object started glowing in a pulsating mood. Tickwater waided near it and became hypnotozed by it. He ended up droping down into the water with his head back looking at the sky. Head started spinning before he ended up fainting.

Walking along a brook a dwarf, named Tickwater, just kept watching an white object floating down it. He picked up a good sized branch to try retrieving the object with no success...

Eriisa:

check the link for that. The book this is found in doesn't have that part. Like all good storytelling type stories, they get "tweaked" depending on who is doing the tellin....

ArnieTxx: it means this. (from the website)

* — Give a quick squeal here, throwing up both arms in alarm, but be careful not to lose the beat.

Groucho: What is meant by the star next to OOOH! in the 6th line of the 3rd verse?

ScarletRose: Welcome. It cracked me up when I read it!

Groucho: hahaha.. OMG.. how fun.. I have never heard that song before.. I will have to save this and sing it along with my son.. Thanks for the chuckle...!

Little Rap Riding Hood

Once upon a time there lived in the woods,
A boss little girl named Riding Hood.
I don't mean blue,
I don't mean green,
I don't mean yellow or aquamarine.
I said Red! — (clap) — Uh uh! (point left with right index finger),
I said Red! — (clap) — Uh uh! (point right with left index finger),
I said Red! — (clap) — Uh uh! (point forward and down pistol-style with both hands),
Red Riding Hood!

(Snap, two, three, four.)

Granny threw her back out on her skateboard on day,
So Red took her goodies and a tube of Ben-Gay.
"The busses aren't running and the 'vette's in the shop,
So I'll hoof it to Granny's house, clippity clop!"
I said clop! — (clap) — Uh uh! (point left with right index finger),
I said clop! — (clap) — Uh uh! (point right with left index finger),
I said clop! — (clap) — Uh uh! (point forward and down pistol-style with both hands),
Like clippity-clop!

(Snap, two, three, four.)

She was half way to Granny's a-singing a song,
When a big bad hairy wolf came walking along.
"Hey, hey, little girl, what's your hurry today?"
"Get lost!" said Red, and she went on her way.
But the wolf beat Red to Grandmother's pad
He threw her in the closet (OOOH!)* and got in the bed.
When Red got there, she was really grossed out
To see a fuzz-faced Granny with a big long snout!
She had bloodshot eyes and big sharp teeth,
A big pot belly and stinky feet.
"Come closer, my dear," said the wolf in disguise.
"All the better," said Red. "for YOUR surprise."
Then Little Red jammed a twinkie up his nose.
She stuck gum in his hair and stepped on his toes.
With one big kick, he was out on his tail.
All the way down the road, you could hear him wail.

(Snap, two, three, four.)

These days wolves don't go to good,
When they pick on girls like Riding Hood.
I don't mean blue,
I don't mean green,
I don't mean yellow or aquamarine.
I said Red! — (clap) — Uh uh! (point left with right index finger),
I said Red! — (clap) — Uh uh! (point right with left index finger),
I said Red! — (clap) — Uh uh! (point forward and down pistol-style with both hands),
Red Riding Hood! Yeah!

I can't find the author but the rap can be found in the book Crazy Gibberish by Naomi Baltuck. It's also located here:

Little Rap Riding Hood

and good luck with this board.

James Joyce

born 2nd February 1882


James Dickey

born 2nd February 1923

Eriisa: ....in a land far, far away.....

Congrats Rose.. :) Kewlness.. let's get a beach party story going.. whoo hoo