An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Brilliant!!!


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,
who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he
was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red
tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable
lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not
children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a 6-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher
fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing
the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their
unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became
businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their
victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave
up the will to live, after a woman failed
to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a
little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust,
by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his
son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
-I Know My Rights
-I Want It Now
-Someone Else Is To Blame
-I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If
you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and
do nothing.

Iamon lyme: we 'scooted off" as you put it because every time we post our posts are deleted....or rather mine is.....

Artful Dodger: well I suppose you are right....Im a slave to eating LOL.......

Artful Dodger: well that wouldn't apply to Americans would it as there are no slaves any more....hmmmmm?

The Col: ROFL

Artful Dodger: yes apparently there is....if you only have one it is dangerous.women have 2 and they are friends with each other :)...Men are dangerous with it and become house wreckers and wife beaters...LOL

who in here has the MAOA gene?

Artful Dodger: okies....Wised up here

AD....do you think Obama knows what they think of him???

Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of **** it can no longer fly.
President BARACK OBAMA was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago. At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, "Walking Eagle." The proud President Obama accepted the plaque and then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds. A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.
They explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of **** it can no longer fly.

Artful Dodger: I found this some where, what do you think? are thing that bad?

***The reason Obama is keeping troops in Afghanistan is there are no jobs for them back home. He doesn't want the unemployment rate to jump before the Nov. elections.***

and the rest of the story on Murdoch was???

who said that the remarks etc on/about/to Mr Murdoch were "unjust and highly partisan"?

Just asking

OMG...do Americans put up with this>??


http://shine.yahoo.com/shine-food/goes-appetite-7-gross-facts-processed-food-211800634.html

*****
In fact the teen pregnancy rate for 2009 (of 38,259 girls aged 18 or younger in England and Wales) was estimated to be the lowest since the early 1980s.*****

what hasn't been said is that ABORTION RATES HAVE RISEN.......

let me set things right.....the australian Govt. DOES NOT allow teenage girls access to contraception pills without a prescription obtainable from a Doctor....the UK govt does.

Artful Dodger: there is talk that the "powers that be" are letting girls as young as 13 get the contraceptive pill from the chemist and not having to go to the Doc. for a script...that is in the UK....talk about encouraging promiscuousness (SP)

Artful Dodger:everything is charged by "code" over here as well.......for instance the "Item No. for my op was 47933" The Dr. charges on that number, as does the hospital for the bed/theatre etc and also the anaesethetist charges fees on that number. None of them miss you :(

Artful Dodger: I see on the news this morning where the UK is going through another recession...must be bad there, but if people got off their butts and worked it wouldnt be so bad....

Artful Dodger: in Aussieland we call it "Come in Spinner"

***Same Difference?

The term 'come in spinner' refers not only to the game of two-up, marking the moment at which the coins are tossed. It also refers to the verbal art of the wind-up, marking the moment when the narrator of a shaggy dog story tells the hapless listener s/he's been conned. The stakes in this game are not just the small change of little truths (which you lose to the biggest liar), but the status of truths them­selves. In order to arrive at that delicious moment when you can say 'come in spinner', you have to give away those little truths that will be recognized, picked up and followed; followed right up the garden path. In fact, in order to mislead, you must tell the truth. In order to produce difference, to put your listeners in a different place from where they think you are, you have to convince them they're in the same place.



This is also the politics of the cover up. The deceptiveness of ap­pearance is not just a matter of overriding difference; of covering facts with fictions, or fictions with facts. The deceptiveness of appear­ance is also a uniquely Australian cultural norm. It deceptively ap­peared, for example, that Australia was constitutionally different from Britain until Remembrance Day 1975, when ocker met a Kerr, and difference was overridden. The AJCS is no exception to this cul­tural norm. It too has a politics of the cover-up. Like Gough Whitlam, it is dedicated to uncovering The Truth of the Matter} but like Australia it has made transgression and illegality the true symbols of a national culture.


***

Artful Dodger: OMG..that is awful - that is the opposite end of the scale to abortion.....

Artful Dodger: horror stories are not only Britain and Canada....try Aus as well...especially the town I live in...absobloodylutely shocking reputation Qld Health has :(

(V): your sentences don't make sense...use full stops.

(V):you cannot buy the pill over the counter in Australia, and as far as I know you can't buy it over the counter in NZ either. , and it cost a lot more than $9

must be an old news item/newspaper/magazine....Foxtel and Austar is way too old...in fact I think it has already been taken over months ago..

SL-Mark: 193 million is a big difference to 9 billion....but then I guess it depends on how you view figures.

and who the hell is the wsws? you must have searched hard to find those articles

another thing....the world wasn't in such financial turmoil back then...well Australia still isn't really :)

if the country is this well off, there should be NO ONE on the dole...what a pack of idiots spending all that wasted cash when they have thousands and thousands of people starving and homeless :(

http://www.presstv.ir/detail/230849.html

Artful Dodger: have you ever thought it could have something to do with the fact that Murdoch was born an Australian??

Artful Dodger:

I would sincerely hope there would be NO swear words used on here....I have been picked up on every one I have used, but then thats me....I only have to look sideways and get chatted.

we are having leadership problems in Australia and as usual the jokes come out....I hope this appreciated and not upsets anyone.........

A platoon of soldiers was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious.

On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar but less serious state.

The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the Platoon Leader asked the injured Australian what had happened.

The soldier reported, 'I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent.'

We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.

I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved.

He yelled back that Kevin Rudd is a bureaucratic, good-for-nothing, left wing labor meanie who knows nothing at all about running the country.'

'So I said that Osama Bin Ladin dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian!'

He retaliated by yelling, 'Oh yeah? Well, so does Julia Gillard!'

'And, there we were, in the middle of the road, laughing, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.'

Artful Dodger: ROFL.....like them.....

can you tell me who said....

I voted for the Republicans because the Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth?

thank god for that.......

as Rod said""""You enjoy arguing, for arguing sake.""""

Bwild: HAHAHAHA....you are so spot on...the UK having no where to go but up... and (V) "there is a big piece of land "......
I wonder what you would call the centre of Autralia hahahaha

and AD.......OMG, the Brits are all nuts. Political correctness gone mad. Stupid and incompetent knuckle draggers......ROFLMBO


I love waking up to all this humour :)

ScarletRose: I already have a 1/4 acre (big enough) 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, carport LOL, a huge garden , greenhouse, and would LOOOOOOOOVE a studio.....for my cake decorating :) but what I have will have to do. ya cant be greedy...MUCH hahahaha

Übergeek 바둑이: read this.......

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-14916580

Übergeek 바둑이: looking at stats UK homes are on average 800sf compared to Aus/Usa 2200sf. We like our open living and don't like to be locked in. We have double access (front and back) whereas from what I have seen in UK terraces you have to go in front door to get to back door.
Imagine...having your rubbish bin outside the back door and having to transport it THROUGH the house on rubbish day...but then from what I have seen they all live on the footpath anyway :(...not healthy living as far as I am concerned...gotta have that wide open spaces :)

Jack: Who gives a stuff about FOX....only one other it seems....I found those figures and put them there for AD to see.

Artful Dodger: won't make an ounce of difference

boring.........get onto a new subject.

it is good to see that the USA and Afghanistan are such good friends on Twitter :)

you can feel the love :)

Artful Dodger: now that IS interesting......thanks :)

Artful Dodger: well the Dead Mans SON has taken over and to me that is to cause much concern...."the apple never falls far from the tree"

Dark Prince: the americans have approx. 36,000 troops in Korea....if there is nothing to worry about why are they there....but then you are starting to sound like someone else in here....

Übergeek 바둑이: what is wrong with a severe fine if you dont vote? We have that iv Australia and it works:(

Don't quote poor to me, those without can work for the community.