<SOUTHERN GIRLS [aged 1 year or 100, they'll always be "girls"]
>
> Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind
> of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart"
> or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on
> the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 4-lane
> highway."
>
>> I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling
>> about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because her
>> toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a southern accent. My
>> friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about
>> those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this After all,
>> this woman had CHOSEN to move to the South a couple of years ago. Can you
>> believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is going to be
>> "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."
>>
>> Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the
>> North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their
>> friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food.
>> I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good
>> bread down here. And the heathens, bless their hearts,eat their
>> cornbread with sugar in it!
>>
>> We've already lost too much. I was raised to say "swanee," not swear,
>> but you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I swanee you don't.
>> And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is
>> "right much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives think
>> this
>> is right funny indeed.
>>
>> I have a friend from Bawston who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've
>> got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She
>> also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin'" to do something. And,
>> bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or
>> what "I reckon" means!
>>
>> My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can't
>> help being ugly, but she could've stayed home."
>>
>
>> Southern girls know everybody's first name:
>> 1. Honey
>> 2. Darlin'
>> 3. Shugah
>>
>> Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
>> 1. "Gone With the Wind"
>> 2. "Fried Green Tomatoes"
>> 3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
>> 4. "Steel Magnolias"
>>
>> Southern girls know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
>> 1. Hotlanta or Adlanna (Atlanta as outsiders say)
>> 2. Richmon
>> 3. Challston
>> 4. S'vannah
>> 5. Birminham
>> 6. Nawlins'
>> 7. Oh! and that city in Alabama ? It's pronounced MUNTGUMRY!
>>
>> Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
>> 1. Bad hair
>> 2. Bad manners
>> 3. Bad blind dates
>>
>> G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised in The South!
>>
>> Now you run along, Shugah, and send this to someone else Raised In The
>> South, i.e., Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS.
>> Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts".
>>
>> That Reminds me. I have a rubber stamp that says "Just because
>> your children were born in the South does not make them Southerners.
>> After all, if a cat had kittens in the oven, that wouldn't make them
>> biscuits."