"I announced to my wife I was going to the supermarket with her the next time she went because the stuff she kept bringing home was not fully in the spirit of American junk food. While she was off squeezing melons, I made for the junk food section. The breakfast cereals alone could have occupied me for most of the afternoon. There must have been two hundred types. The most immediately arresting was a cereal called Cookie Crisp, which tried to pretend it was a nutritious breakfast but was really just chocolate chip cookies that you put in a bowl and ate with milk. Brilliant."

-- Bill Bryson in "I'm a Stranger Here Myself."

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"Well, Ted, you're certainly coming up in the world. What's the idea of playing golf with not one, but two caddies!"

"Oh, it was my wife's idea."

"Your wife?"

"Yeah," answers Ted, "She thought I should spend more time with the kids."