Skyking: Yes, you can cry underwater. Not only this, but you can cry underwater without people knowing you cry underwater!!

I suppose you have to be important enough to have no spare time to write these questions.

What does the first expression ('two cents') mean?

You get these funny white clothes when you're in heaven, remember?

Most likely it's for easier storage, or for pizza makers' stupidity.

I don't know what's cured ham.

Because we're dumb!

A baby sleeps about 16 hours a day, as far as I remember.

Maybe it's called 'the presenting'...

For the same reason you're not IN the screen.

They do it for the same reason they buy McDonalds and die from eating.

Because if they se you, it's called stripping.

Misprint in the dictionary, most likely.

Uh, right... No decent human... Just kidding. It's used for torments.

Who's Jimmy?

See the reason for man on moon and luggage.

Pointing at the crotch would be unpleasantly ambiguous.

Goofy made Pluto get used to be in doggy position... Hehe...

He does it for the challenge.

Haven't you read the ingredients?

I guess so!

The one who wrote the tune wasn't creative.

I didn't! Haha! I already knew they have the same tune!

If you blow his face from the side, would he still be mad?

Yesterday I was, for the first time, at a religious Jewish friday dinner. It was very nice, and the father of the family told us a joke (which his daughter claimed she told him):

The U.S. decided to check if there is any oxygen on Mars. They sent a spaceship there, with a man inside. When he got to Mars, he decided to check if there is or isn't by lighting a match. He took the matchbox, took out a match, almost lit it up--and then he suddenly sees a man in black waving his finger from side to side franticaly, signaling him, "NO! NO!!!". The astronaut decided to listen and went back to Earth.

When he came back, everyone was very happy, celebrated the day, and asked him, "Is there or isn't there oxygen on Mars?"

He explained them the story, and they turned furious. "What?!" They screamed. "Because some man in black clothes you failed us all?! Go back there this instant!" And he did.

When he landed, he tried doing the same again. But this time, there were thirty people in black clothes waving their finger franticaly. He didn't light it once more and went back to earth.

Once again, everyone were happy, celebrated the day, and asked him again, "is there or isn't there oxygen on Mars?"

He explained them the story, mentioning there were thirty people instead. They were furious, and explained to him, "Look. This project costed BILLIONS of dollars to the U.S. Everyone is depending on you. So dead or alive, YOU ARE GOING TO GET THE ANSWER!!!"

Understanding the mess he got himself into, he returned once more to Mars. This time, when he wanted to light the match, there were THREE-HUNDRED PEOPLE there, waving their fingers franticaly. This time, he didn't care. He tried lighting the match--and succeeded.

Angrily, he took off his helmet and started screaming, "YOU BASTARDS! For the first time I came here, one of you waved like that. The second time, thirty of you did. Now three-hundred of you did. And nothing happened! You should be ashamed of yourself! What kind of a reason could you have to do something like that?!"

And all the black-clothed people started screaming, "Shabbat! Shabbat!"

Liked? I thought it's hillarious. I was certain the reason for them not wanting him to light up the match was because the planet was filled with methane gas...