I never had any doubt, even without seeing who the opponents were. Way to go.

Hey, Purple, are you picking on a peace loving young lady? That's terrible! You, the reincarnation of checkers champions past, should be totally ashamed! ...except I don't believe in reincarnation. Well...cut it out anyway! You big purple smother!

Maybe. I find that reading a road map keeps me from going wrong sometimes, too. Ooooh, this may be off topic. Ah! But I was travelling to an important checker game. [Whoops. This post is a product of a sassy, silly sense of humor and was not intended as an editorial one way or the other regarding any editing or deleteing that may or may not have occurred now or in the past from the beginning of time until the end of time. Anything outside of those time boundaries...well, I'm probably guilty]

Well...always try to jump more than you get jumped. Hmm, I'll wait for answers with you and pick up those pointers, too.

I may be drawn to the Single Corner because as a child I too often was placed in a little chair facing the corner and make to sit there until I learned proper conduct or language. Instead, there in the single corner I plotted how to defeat all life's future opponents for their unfair treatment of me. Maybe if I had been allowed to take my doll, Smother Wilther, with me into the corner I would be a different player today!

Whew, with all that to choose from you'd think I could find an opening that would fit my style of play. Alas, haven't really discovered what my style of play is. Anyway, I want something that fits. A woman can't step in front of a mirror without a good fit.

You inadvertantly transposed the "She won 50" numbers. The numbers for "She" are 05. Hmm, what you have seen as mercy is probably just incompetence when I failed to make the best move. Apathy is probably descriptive of my lack of proper study, but apathy...well, I don't care. :o)

Smother Wilther? Published? You actually read? No wonder my game is bad. About Smother Wilther, I had a doll who answered to that name. I didn't speak too plainly in those days so it just sounded that way to everyone. I've forgotten her real name. Sorry.

Happy belated birthday to you
Happy belated birthday to you
Haaaapppyyy beeelateeed Birrrrrthday, dear Chief
Happy belated birthday to you.

Now after that beautiful song you can all weep with me for missing the Chief's birthday.

The Prancing Prince variation is not the glamorous play the name suggests. Rather than being named after a handsome Prince high stepping proudly on his way to rescue the beautiful Princess, an old country checker player looked up from his game and saw the hired man carefully stepping high walking across the cattle feed lot and from that distance mistakenly thought the man was prancing. Usurper KM states he has resisted the temptation to provide the analysis of the Prancing Prince variation. Well, I doubt that. He does not often resist temptation, or so rumor has it. I do not have sufficient time to begin that discussion either as I am overdue with a pledged literary review of an amazingly fine short story. I know, I know, my review will be longer than the story. All this checker analysis has delayed me.

However, my dear Usurper KM, there is a matter of urgency I must bring to your attention: Please have your agent call mine. The Hollywood movie producers are negotiating for movie rights to our discussion of the Duckwalk Tease, a movie that promises to be full of deception, allure and seduction. And, of course, your correction showing how skirting the edges coyly often results in shocking plunges into daring frontal assaults should sell plenty of tickets.

Preliminary indications are that a theme running through the movie will augment the hot story line showing how Uncle Dinglehoff's personality obsessions with wild women and alcohol as outlined by you have passed down through the multiple generations to present day family members. Seeking to give the movie a documentary flavor, the producers are seeking a real life descendant, perhaps a great-x-great nephew, who exhibits those same character traits. Of course, I could think of no one for that staring role! I have declined the role of one of your uncle's mistresses. It is against my moral standards to be filmed in the nude. I would absolutely never, never, ever do that! It would be like selling my soul. Besides, those producers did not even approach the money figure I deserve for such a role.

Reports are that the script writers have done a fair job, but without an engrossing mystery sub-plot, the quality of the script is a bit checkered. Alas, the writers have abandoned their exhausting efforts to intertwine a mystery theme into this steamy production; everyone already knows from reading your previous post that it was you, Usurper KM, who skewered the Duck. I hope that doesn't skewer up the whole *#@$%&@ movie project!!!

First, my dear Chief KM, you must know how very honored I am that you would seek my comments. I will proceed.

While my innermost being does not rest easy that I would dare to register the least disagreement with the esteemed Usurper KM, I find myself unable to disregard my duty to checker aficionados everywhere and therefore am compelled to explain my inability to agree (but, indeed, disagreeing only in part)with the conclusions of the analysis contained in footnote A. While I do acknowledge the veracity of the major thrust of footnote A, to-wit, that white's line of attack is somewhat stilted, Usurper KM's continued assessment of what is hot and what is not--I most respectfully submit and urge your patient indulgence in doing so--is flawed in that the variation played by J. Beam against Lord Dinglehoff in their match of 1837 has not been properly considered. Using your modern terms, surely, Usurper KM, you must acknowledge just how hot the variation really is! The now famous and aptly named "Duckwalk Tease" variation with its lengthy volumes of analytical annotations presents to the uninitiated player a most unusual and even bewildering formation with its waddling progress of pieces. (Because of the already lengthy annotations I trust you will all forgive me for omitting setting them forth once again.) The very name of the variation, of course, is derived from the duckwalk-like vacillations seen in the paths of the advancing checker pieces. Make no mistake, unorthodoxed though the variation may be when superficially perceived, one who has never encountered the play of this deceptive variation would find its lines so alluring and seductively attractive and temptingly vulnerable that such a one is often in fact teased into abandonment of all fundamental truths of right and wrong checker moves. The unwary and foolish one ultimately is forced to confront the intolerable situation of being irredeemably and irrevocably entangled in the tenacious tentacles of defeat.

One interesting side note for those of you alert to the origins and nuances of language words and phrases: Lord Dinglehoff was said to have been so humiliated upon his inglorious defeat that he, without intent or forethought, did respond to his lingering depression generated by his disasterous loss in such a way as to give rise to a descriptive maxim that is forever engrained into English language usage. Even to this present age we too often hear of those who are intoxicated to an extreme and outrageous degree referred to as being "drunk as a Lord". (Of course, as you might know the phrase was shortened with the passage of time and the name 'Dinglehoff' was omitted from common utterances. You will hear the name used now only upon the most formal and sophisticated occasions.)

PS: Chief, sorry I was delayed in presenting my studious analysis. Are there other matters you might wish me to comment on? lol

Yes, that's early favorite! However, to win you must continue to concentrate. No booze or wild women. I'm afraid that hurts your chances after the first game, or first opening moves maybe.

I've forgotten when this tournament starts. The highly skilled Usurper KM reads Derek Oldbury and I'm on chapter two of "The Beginner's Guide to Checkers"? Will I have time to finish it before the tournament begins?

LOL. You are all a funny bunch of checker players!

Oh, Wyllie may not have been so great! I, also, have given an opponent 13 men while I played with 10. I was winning every one of our games, too. Then her mommy came to take her home for her nap.

Chief KM, just checking to see if I understood you correctly. Before I joined the tournament you did say all those over 2000 had to play with 11 checker pieces, uh, excuse me, pawns, right? :o)

To the Most Rev. Usurper KM: I've heard of guys like you around the prisons, but I always thought they were inmates. Seems last Minister I saw on tv said there were no U.S. troops in Baghdad, so you could be one of those kind of ministers, I suppose. I've no doubt that your working your way through the cell blocks will take a long while. But it is certainly heart warming to know there are people like you ready to devote hours and hours to make other people happy. Oh, lastly, I urge you to be alert. Occasionally, the men's and women's prison are not that far apart, so choose carefully which one you go to.

Man, we don't have purses in here! Someone would tear it apart and invent a weapon. That sounds like an unusual minister you have. What a checker club that has a prison minister! Hmm, maybe I could teach him a few things. Yeah, sure I could. If he's handsome send him this way. No, send him anyway regardless how he looks. I mean...you know...some of us have been in here so long all men look handsome by now. Oh, sorry. Sometimes we're not too careful about our manners and joking around.

Thanks, Chief. A wise fellow pointed out that unless I planned to play a lot of games here it might not be using good common sense to spend the money. I doubt I will play much here and I'm undecided whether to continue on GT. I had some very good friends there who aren't there anymore and even we tough old cons can feel a sense of great loss now and then. Hey, what is this remark of "good people"? You saying I ain't good enough? Thanks for the parole wishes anyway. Yes, the good news is that I expect to be out of here around 2025, unless bad things happen to somebody and they pin it on me. You know how it is in the real world!

Gee, a club that lets just everyone it? Okay, I'll ask one of the guards if I can get some extended computer privileges. This women's prison has some funny rules. P.S. Seems like I heard of KM Club on GoldToken. If it's the same you dudes were really good.

I'd like to join in, but I'm still on page two of "Beginning Checkers". Solving the problems sounds like a good idea, yet for me every game presents multiple problems. Oh, I feel sorry for you guys. Seems you have to make up difficult problems for a challenge. lol