It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
admittance policy.
The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a
really bummer day on the day that you died. The policy would go into
effect at noon the next day.
So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the
man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going
when you died."
"No problem," the man said. I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on my
lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was
nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was
half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as
I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The
nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his
fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed
in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This
ticked me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first
thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first
thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out
onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories
and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and
died almost instantly."
The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a
bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK sir.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it
was Donald Trump. "Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear
about what your day was like when you died." Trump said, "No problem.
But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th
floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of
pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I
got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!
Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony
below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his
apartment, starts cursing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I
fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so
I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground,
unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his
refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and
lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. "I
could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well,"
the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets
Trump enter.
A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is
almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination pour through the
Angel's head. Finally he says "Mr. Clinton, please tell me what it was
like the day you died."
Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked inside a refrigerator
.........
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