Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke.....lots of it.

A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a forty-year old man says that can only be done in the movies.

If you spray furniture polish on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A four-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing a superman cape.

It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows, even double pane, does not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball cleats, it does not leak.....it explodes.

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house four inches deep.

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year old.

Duplo blocks will not.

PlayDough and microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

Superglue is forever.

McGuyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.

Ditto Tarzan.

No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

Pool filters don't like Jello.

VCR's do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. Neither do embroidered bedsheets.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

Plastic toys do not like ovens.

Always look in the dryer before using it. A four-year old can break an arm in a rotating dryer.

The fire department in our city has a response time of at least five minutes.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

It will, however, make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up two times their body weight when dizzy.

Quiet does not necessarily mean there is nothing wrong.