Three year old Butchy is sitting on the toilet. After some time had passed, his mother thinks he's been in there a long time and goes to see what's up.


Butchy is sitting there on the toilet looking at a book. But, every few seconds he puts his book down, grips the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.


Mother asks, "Butchy, are you alright? You've been in here a long time." Butchy replies, "I'm okay, but didn't go doody, yet."


Mom says, "Okay, you can stay here a little longer but why are you hitting yourself on top of the head?" To which, Butchy replies...


"Works for ketchup!"

There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.

But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?" the teacher asked.

''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

''Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking," Janie replied.

redfrog: Ralph Nader: It's obvious that the issue of safety needs to be addressed here, I will commission a study by osha as to the best way to create crosswalks on every road in America, cost is irrelevant because the last thing we need is chickens getting hit and dismembered in the road especially in the hot sun where we will end up with fried chicken legs

redfrog: read it again

redfrog:Barock Obama: This just clearly shows that the chickens in America are ready for a new direction,and demand a change, and when I am elected I will change the direction of that road or the shape of the chicken or, er....er....well I will change something

that wasn't too hard

tthey wanted to get pooh

I was walking through wallmart earlier today, when all of the sudden I saw Michael Jackson, I wondered why he would he be here, then I heard the voice on the intercom " welcome shoppers, dont forget, underware is half off in the boys department."