I understand what you are all saying, but it is still my opinion to solve the problem of playing slow players is to play in faster games. To solve the problem of "unforseen problems", an "emergincy vacation" would solve that.

A suggestion which I'm surprised has not happen before - Why not make a fellowship dedicated to "fast players" - you could have your own tournaments, and invite only the fast players you know of. NOTE: I would strongly discourage it becoming a place to be anti-slow players (listing slow players, etc..), and a pro-fast players - list fast players and such.