'

'
1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well
within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry
which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override
the communications system of any invading alien society.
5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts -- your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one
by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in
your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to
become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally
gunned down three days before their retirement.
9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer
to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses,
pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks,
which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
10. During all police investigations, it will be
necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

danoschek: lol

ughaibu: "Danger, Will Robinson!"

Hey,what happened to general chat?:-(

This really isn't the place to ask! But, the mods decided to change the settings so pawns can't post, because a few were causing trouble. theres a post about it, but its probably quite far down now.

harley: Sorry to hear that...Where can we go to chat?

ughaibu: Why are you banned?

Mongoloid: I'm sorry but that was the only general chat discussion board open to pawn members.

harley: Do you know when the pawns will be able to post again? seems a shame...:-(

ughaibu: I don't understand what's going on??!!

Mongoloid: Sorry, I really don't know. If you send a message to one of the mods, they may be able to tell you. Hannelore or Bry is your best bet, I believe MadMonkey is having PC problems at the moment and can't get online much. Good luck :o)

Is that an Afro or a Funny Hat?

http://etchings.at.web1000.com/KimNuke.jpg

I should check this DB more often. I always assume this DB would be fairly free from pawn invasion type attacks. I would like pawns to be able to tell jokes here as well as everyone else but this is a family oriented joke board so violaters will be swiftly dealt with. First obscene post gets deleted, second time we will give you a month ban to think it over.

It would be nice if this board was used for more jokes instead of a lot of general chat..

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and then cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door." "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

Broken furniture - $85.26

Hot Breakfast - $4.20

Red Rose bud -$3.00

Two Aspirins -$.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless.

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

What goes '99, clunk -- 99, clunk -- 99, clunk'?

A centipede with a wooden leg :P

Psychic Web Site

Summertop: WHOA!!!! even when i TRIED to trick it by redoing the same number as last time I got the same symbol!
WHOAAAA neat! Ok who can explain it?

Rose: The result of the little math function is always a multiple of "9"...look at the chart, you will see...

it missed my first two, then got one right. I want my money back....

i tried it about 5 times and got mine right everytime! can someone explain?

Juno:
Magic.

Why did tigger and piglet go to the bathroom?

tthey wanted to get pooh

that is kewt

regarding the math/magic site: if you check out any multiple of 9 the symbols are always the same. If you choose a number say ab, that is 10xa + b. For instance 98. That is 10 times 9 plus 8. Add 9 and 8 and that is 17. Take that away from 98 and that is then 81. The result will always be a multiple of 9 and each time you check your results the symbol for all the multiples of 9 will be the same, they do change each time so that you will think it is "magic". ((10a+b)-(a+b)) will always be a multiple of 9 because that will always leave you with 9a or 9 times the first digit of the number you picked. Summertop is on top of it. OK, I'll shut up now.

DainBread: LMAO tanks for the splanation. You sure aren't what your nic says you is! LOL

... it is definitely entertaining and I just can't seem to find the solution :-( . Try it !

Pafl: nice one!

Vikings: yep thats right:)

I have figured it out, but I will not post it here for anyone else interested in trying to solve it. PM me if you want the answer.

:-)

that wasn't too hard

Thad: whoo hoo.. I got it.. only took me about 20 rolls to figure it out.. lol

Ok, ScarletRose, tell us how it works!

Thad: the rose is the center dot on the die.. the only dice that have that center point.. are the 1, 3 and 5.. the one has no petals meaning outter dots.. the 3 has two, and the 5 has four.. you simply add all the petals in the roll.

So.. for instance if you roll a 6, 6, 3, 2, 5 you would have 6 petals..
A roll of 1, 2, 2, 5, 5.. would = 8 petals..
A roll of 3, 3, 1, 3, 5.. would = 10 petals..

Ok, now how's got a better puzzle? ;-)

1, 11, 21, 1211, 111221, 312211, 13112221,
1113213211, 31131211131221...
What is the next number following this pattern??

:)

13211311123113112211

followed by 11131221133112132113212221

followed by 3113112221232112111312211312113211. ;-)

... followed by 1321132132111213122112311311222113111221131221

followed by 1113122113121113123112111311222112132113213221133
1222113112211

hehehe.. you all knew the pattern.. good for you!

hey! you didnt even check all answers ..i am sure i made a mistake somewhere ... my fingers always type something different than what my mind means ;)

Hrqls: Yep! Hrqls.. you got it right..

13211311123113112211,

1113122113311
2132113212221,

3113112221232112111312211312
113211,

13211321321112131221123113112221131
11221131221,

111312211312111312311211131122
21121321132132211331222113112211,

311311222
1131112311311121321123113213221121113122113121
11322212311322113212221,

132113213221133112132113311211131221121321131
2111322211231131122211311123113321112132113222
11312113211,

Whew.. getting tough now.. hehe can't see the whole line at once.. LOL


:)