You Might Be A Liberal If You Believe...

. that women who stay at home to raise their children are repressed by a male-dominated society, but that women who wear hijabs are expressing freedom of religion -

.If you're an "advocate" for the poor who uses "trailer trash" as an insult

•IQ tests should be used to stop the death penalty, but not to determine admission to AP classes.

•The Ten Commandments in schools will hurt the children, but “Heather Has Two Mommies” won’t.

•Spending 4 years - make that 5 years - repeating your professor’s liberal slogans is a solid education, but demanding that colleges present all view-points and actually teach the subject is “anti-intellectualism.”

•McCarthyism was wrong, but black-listing “right-wingers” from ever teaching in college is just plain old common sense. A right-winger is anyone who doesn’t toe the line on all issues.

•AIDS is caused by poverty. So is crime. And membership in the Republican party.

•Global Cooling for 10 years proves that there is global warming.

•You fly on private jets, but feel free to tell others to use only one square of toilet paper to save the environment.

•Career welfare recipients are fat because they can’t afford food.

•You preach to everyone that diversity is our greatest strength, but you paid half a million dollars more for a house in an all-white suburb than you could’ve for the same house in a black neighborhood.

•You see racist code-words in all media except in hip-hop singles such as “Kill The White People”.

•US wants to build a wall on the Mexican and not Canadian border because of racism, not because 20 million Mexicans and almost no Canadians cross into the U.S. illegally.

•There is no correlation between Islamic immigration to Europe and increased anti-Semitic attacks against European Jews.

•You bought your son a doll and your daughter a toy truck just to prove that gender is a social construct.

•You then gave your son a “time-out” for pretending that the doll is an enemy soldier. Such violence will not be accepted.

•When your 2-year-old daughter turned the truck into a “tea party” table, your immediate thought was, “I got to her too late and she was already brainwashed by society to think she’s a little woman”.

•There’s never a reason to hit a woman, unless she’s Ann Coulter or another conservative, in which case, she had it coming for having a mind of her own and disagreeing with you.

•When a Western woman travels to the Middle East, she should respect their traditions and cover up. When Moslems illegally infiltrate Europe, they have the right to expect the Westerners to adjust to them. If the Europeans don’t, Moslems have every right to riot.

•Christianity is a threat. Islam is a religion of peace.

•The Constitution allows desecration of the flag, but makes it strictly illegal to desecrate the Koran.

•You found where the right to an abortion is written in the Constitution, but cannot find where the Constitution provides for a right to bear arms.

•None of the Constitutional Rights you believe in are actually written in the U.S. Constitution.

•The First Amendment’s Freedom of Speech must take a back seat to sensitivity.

•America and Israel are the only problems in the Middle East.

•Four year old babies should be frisked at the airport because focusing on nervous young Arabs would be discriminatory.

•Hezbollah is a legitimate political party, but Republicans are just a bunch of racist haters who should never be exposed to kids or college students.

•It is wrong to kill terror leaders without a trial, but blowing up buses and airplanes is legitimate resistance.

•You aren’t unpatriotic, but you just can’t remember the last time you sided with the United States … on anything… against any country.

•Truth matters less than feelings.

•You tell anyone who’ll listen that our elections are fraudulent and then you fight tooth and nail to prevent states from requiring a photo ID to vote.

•You are more proud of Obama’s race than of John McCain’s refusal to leave his buddies behind in Vietnamese prison.

•Dan Quayle is the dumbest Vice-President ever because he believed a flash card that misspelled “potato,” but Obama is a genius despite the fact that he believes that we have more than 57 states.

•You laugh at Dan Quayle, but you still can’t figure out the difference between “your” and “you’re”.

•All recounts must continue until the Democrat takes the lead, and not a second longer.

•You announce that you will move to Canada every time a Republican wins an election.

•95% of blacks voting for a black guy is normal, but 55% of whites voting for the white candidate is a sign of how flawed our racist voting system is.

•You call yourself ‘progressive’ but oppose all progress because somebody might get fired and replaced by a cheap and more efficient computer program.

•Capitalism is the cause of poverty.

•People aren’t successful, they are privileged.

•People don’t earn. They deserve.

•The Christian Right shouldn’t impose their morality on you, but you want to impose big government on everyone else because otherwise they won’t do the right thing.

•You think that consenting adults can engage freely in every activity except capitalism.

•You think the case for global warming is proven without a shadow of a doubt, but that we need another century or two worth of evidence to figure out if capitalism and free markets work better than socialism.

•It’s obscene that oil companies are allowed to make 8.3 cents per gallon in profit with gas prices this high, but it’s ok for the government to make several times more than that in taxes.

•You are steeped in compassion, but never gave money to charity or donated blood.

•Fox News is biased, but Al Jazeerah isn’t. In fact, Fox News invented media bias.

•Rush Limbaugh and Michael Reagan are mean-spirited racists and promote hate crime, but Maxine Waters, John Conyers and Louis Farrakhan aren’t and don’t.

•Rush Limbaugh’s listeners are mindless “dittoheads,” but you have never doubted anything that you heard from Michael Moore.

•Freedom of speech means the right to scream when a conservative tries to speak in order to prevent anyone from hearing his views.

•Freedom of speech applies to terrorists, not conservative radio talk show hosts.