five surgeons r discussing who makes the best patients 2 operate on.
the first surgeon says, "i like 2 c accountants on my operating table, cuz when u open them up, everything is numbered.
the second surgeon responds, "yeah, but u should try electricians! everything inside them is color coded."
the third surgeon says, "no, i really think the file clerks r the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."the fourth surgeon chimes in, "u know, i like construction workers. those guys always understand when u have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than u said it would."
but the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "u r all wrong. lawyers r the easiest 2 operate on. there's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and ass r interchangeable."

a little boy asked his father, "daddy, how much does it cost 2 get married?"
and the father replied, "i dunno son, i'm still paying."

at the cocktail party, one woman said 2 another, "aren't u wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
the other women replied, "yes i am, i married the wrong man."

two little boys go into the grocery store. one is nine, one is four. the nine-year-old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it 2 the register for check-out. the cashier asks "oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" the nine-year-old replies, "nope, not for my mom." without thinking, the cashier responded, "well, they must be for your sister then?" the nine-year-old responded, "nope, not for my sister either." the cashier had now become curious. "oh. not for your mom and not for your sister -- then who r they for?" the nine-year old says "they're for my four-year-old little brother." the cashier is surprised: "your four year-old-brother?" the nine-year-old explains: "well yeah, they say on tv if u wear one of these, u can swim or ride a bike -- and my little brother can't do either of those things."