British School Authority: "Thank you for coming into school today to discuss this very important matter. This is Mr. Itza Law the school attorney and this is Mrs. Hope Leslie Clueless, the liaison from the government office RATS, (Racism And Terrorism in Schools). I'd like to show you something."

Mom: "Ok, it's a cute picture of kids playing outside. And???"

British School Authority: "You're daughter drew this."

Mom: "ok It's cute"

British School Authority: "Notice the two children in the picture that have black skin? You're daughter singled them out and used a black color crayon to represent their skin color!

Mom: "I see she labeled them with their names. Those are her two black friends that live down the street.

British School Authority: "Their skin color is NOT black!! It's a dark brown! What your daughter did by coloring using a black color crayon is nothing less than racism!!!"

Mom: "She's 5. What was the assignment."

British School Authority: "To draw and color of picture of her and her friends playing their favorite outdoor activity."

Mom: "Well, looks like she did that."

British School Authority: "We need to deal with this crisis situation now while your daughter is impressionable. She needs to know that racism isn't tolerated in this society."

Mom: "What did she do exactly that was racist?"

British School Authority: " She used a black crayon to color a black person!!!"

Mom: "Yeah, cuz their black"

British School Authority: "And she made their hair frizzy!!!!"

Mom: "Hmmmm, maybe because they both have frizzy hair???"

British School Authority: "Those are racial stereotypes."

Mom: "No, those are accurate representations. Where is my daughter now?"

British School Authority: "She's in the other room. Handcuffed. And she's under arrest. She'll be spending the night in jail. We have a zero tolerance policy on acts of racism. The police are on their way."

Mom: "You're a complete moron."

British School Authority: "That is besides the point. There is a law against racism. We have to learn that we are all equals! And it's your job as a mom to get that message across. Where do people in this society get off thinking they are better than others? Well, I have to run, I'm late for my daily meeting at the Caledonian Club."

Mom: "Isn't that a men only club?"

................. No longer because women are allowed in now. Nothing is sacred. British equality act...your knuckle draggers at work! Next men will be allowed in the girls bathroom. Equality you know. I hear there is legislation that will require the UK men to power their noses when out in public! That's so the women don't feel inferior!