after I adjusted my antichatlist aka hidelist ...
the 20th century and oscar highhistory let nostalgics still dream what
kind of great honorations they might have missed ... some alternatives

The Top 16 Why-Didn't-We-Have Oscar Nominations

16. Best Imitation of Acting by a Bad Martial Artist -- Steven Seagal

15. Best Grip -- Monica Lewinsky

14. Breast Supporting Actress -- Demi Moore

13. Actor Slammed Most Often in a Top 5 List -- Pauly Shore

12. Largest Ego Squeezed Onto a Movie Set -- Val Kilmer

11. Best Animated Film With No Plans for a Subsequent National
Tour With "On Ice" After Its Name -- no nominations this year

10. Best Use of Erect Nipples in a Feature Length Film to Draw
Attention from Face -- Helen Hunt, "As Good As It Gets"

9. Best Performance by a Baldwin or Wayans -- Alec (again)

8. Best Performance in a Romance -- Pamela Anderson Lee;
Best Animated Long Feature -- Tommy Lee

7. Best Performance by a Frosty Bobbing Cadaver
-- Colin Winthorpe, "Titanic"

6. Best Occupation for Your Character When Playing Opposite a
Babe -- Leonardo DiCaprio's nude sketch artist, "Titanic"

5. Fastest to be Dumped When Boyfriend Reached Stardom
-- Minnie Driver, by Matt Damon

4. Most Thorough Research by an Actor Who May Someday Play
a Cowering Pretty-Boy Cellmate -- Robert Downey, Jr.

3. Special "American Gigolo" Award -- James Brolin

2. Vocal Performance from a Movie Soundtrack That Most Makes
One Envious of Those Who Drowned in the Film Because They
Never Had to Hear This Overdramatic Crap Over and Over
-- Celine Dion, "Titanic"

and the Winner is

1. Fullest Monty -- Dirk Diggler, "Boogie Nights"