Need help with your math homework? Just call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

coan.net: Yeah, but if I had mentioned that too I probable would have been considered a jerk and I decided I'd rather not mention it then be a jerk.

> pin number

Calling it a PIN number is being redundantly redundant.

Top ten ways to procrastinate:

1.

Jim Dandy: http://www.guzer.com/videos/elevator_toilet.php

Google 'elevator jokes' for tons more.

My two cents:

I, too, would like to see mook53lhd either write in complete sentences or stop posting.

I agree that somehow we simple users should have been able to tell that Rose's post was from a glob and not just from some random angry poster. I would suggest to Fencer that perhaps the backgrounds of their posts be changed to a different color, or perhaps the color of their text, something, anything, but everytime I suggest something to him, he brushes me off.

Short of that, Rose, perhaps you could add a sentence announcing that you are a glob just so we know in any future posts that are like your recent ones. Just a suggestion, of course.

NOW SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME A JOKE!! ;-)

skipinnz: For some reason, that one remind me of this one:

Indian Chief and the Aussie

An Australian travel writer at the beginning of a 6-month tour of Canada was checking out of the Vancouver Hilton. When he paid his bill, he asked the manager, "By the way, what's with the Indian chief sitting in the lobby? He's been there ever since I arrived."

"Oh, that's Big Chief Forget-me Not," said the manager. "The hotel is built on an Indian reservation, and part of the agreement is to allow the chief free use of the premises for the rest of his life. He is known as Big Chief Forget-me Not because of his phenomenal memory. He is 92 and can remember the slightest detail of his life."

The travel writer took this in. When he waited for his cab, he decided to put the chief's memory to the test.

"'ello, mate!" said the Aussie, receiving only a slight nod in return. "What did you have for breakfast on your 21st birthday?"

"Eggs," was the chief's instant reply, without even looking up, and indeed the Aussie was impressed.

He went off on his travel writing itinerary, right across to the east coast and back, telling others of Big Chief Forget-me Not's great memory. (One local noted to him that 'How' was a more appropriate greeting for an Indian chief than "'ello mate.") On his return to the Vancouver Hilton six months later, he was surprised to see Big Chief Forget-me Not, still sitting in the lobby, fully occupied with whittling away on a stick.

"How?", said the Aussie to the Chief, who again did not stop to look up.

"Scrambled," said the Chief.

JackS: You can't post a Thanksgiving joke until after Halloween. One holiday at a time!! ;-)

My two cents:

I'd like to see this board stay super clean. It probaby makes things easier in the long run, BUT only if there is somewwhere to go with our dirty jokes. There is at least one place here. Join this fellowship:
Laugh it up, M8 (Vtipy od 18ti)

Problem solved.

Fiona: Yes, I know, just being funny. ;-)

Fiona: Then what happened?

Stardust: What's a map? ;-)

yoyudax:

rednaz23: Try here:
http://brainking.com/en/ShowFellowship?fid=331

Here's a story that's a personal favorite of mine:

http://www.brefigroup.co.uk/acrobat/rocks_and_beer.pdf

nobleheart: I am.

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Fred,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love Fred

At 4 am the next day, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Fred

Reminds me of that song, "Wet Dreams". Anyone know it?

ScarletRose: 25 see ya, bye all.

nobleheart: And somewhere I have an old-fashioned photograph (sorry, no digital scan) of a sign at a gas station that said "HLEP WANTED". I think that guy needed more hlep than he realized! lol!

nobleheart: I took this one last weekend:
http://thad.com/temp/MyPhotos/Hikes/MF/Thad/slides/How%20Can%20You%20Park%20on%20BOTH%20Sides!.html

I'd love to see someone actually parked on BOTH sides. ;-)

Purple: Aren't there some fellowships specifically for dirty jokes? Instead of just continually telling everyone not to post their dirty jokes, please point them toward appropriate locations. I know this won't help pawns, but it'll encourage them to get higher memberships.

ClayNashvilleTn: NOW ya tell me. ;-)

INVENTORAMF: That one was in this month's Reader's Digest. ;-)

gekrompen hoofd: Are you insulting everyone who posts to this board saying the whole thing is a big joke? Or am I missing something?

Harley, here's one more. It was my favorite when I was like nine:

What's red and green and goes two hundred miles an hour?

A frog in a blender.

BIG BAD WOLF: AWESOME!!!

BIG BAD WOLF: Calvin & Hobbes is/was great. Some of my favorites are here:
http://thad.com/calvin/
and my all-time favorite is this one:
http://thad.com/calvin/ch930919-FAV.gif

There used to be a fellowship called..ok, I forgot the name, but it was for dirty jokes that shouldn't be posted here. I believe Nirvana was the big boss. It's gone now, but is there another in it's place? If not, someone let me know and I'll start one.

Thad

April Fool's Day is coming up. Let's hear some April Fool's tales from years past. Surely someone has seen a good April Fool's Day joke pulled off. No prize 'cept bragging rights! ;-)

INVENTORAMF: Blonde joke!

followed by 3113112221232112111312211312113211. ;-)

Ok, now how's got a better puzzle? ;-)

Ok, ScarletRose, tell us how it works!

I have figured it out, but I will not post it here for anyone else interested in trying to solve it. PM me if you want the answer.

:-)

Rose: an escalator & a typo. ;-)

It's a trick, don't spell one word, spell "one word". ;-)

Put three coins on one side of the balance scale and three on the other. If one side tips up, the fake is amongst them. If they balance, the fake is one of the three unweighed coins. Weigh two of the three coins known to contain the fake, one on each side of the scale. If the scale rises, the fake is on the high side. If they balance, the unweighed coin is the fake. :-D

I've got it! But I'll PM ya, honcho, so others can play. ;-)

Make it 76.

Lol. ;-)