I posted this on the fellowship board, and while I don't normally double up my posts I have been asked to post it here too... for various reasons. So here goes. Apologies to Poetry Challenge! members who have already read this.

Childhood... by harley

DARKNES. TERROR. ANGER. PAIN.
The fear of being hurt again.
Dare not move, or make a sound.
For on my tiny form, fists will pound.

Older now, five or six.
Taking the punches, taking the kicks.
A full day at school, then smacks round the head
"clean all the house cow, then piss off to bed"

Lying in the dark, aching like mad,
It kicks off downstairs, its gonna be bad.
He's been drinking all week, no work for him
Screaming and smashing, has he broken her limb?

Silence..... oh God no, is she dead?
Has he done it at last, anger finally fed?
I daren't go and see, oh please make a sound
Need to know, need to see, but not allowed down.

I stay silent in bed and just pray
Simple wishes, like can everything be ok?
I'll be good now I promise, I swear
just as long as my mum is still there.

Morning now, unbelievable I slept
the calm is chilling, I didn't forget
not a word, don't ask, don't look
Don't see the bandage, or bruises she took.

Go to school, all is fine.
This secret has to stay mine
If I tell I'll be taken away
And worse will happen to me every day.

Hometime. What to expect? What will be there?
A sleeping ogre, to tiptoe around, if you dare?
Or a drunken rage, jet black eyes that just stare...
waiting, like a lion, to pounce if it cares.

Creep in, hold your breath, stale beer
Shh! Listen, is that a snore I hear?
Move slowly, so slowly, oh no!
Kicked a shoe, will that wake him? I don't know.

Stirrings.. murmers, the creak of the chair
My stomach churns, feel sick, fear is there.
Lurching form across the room, he knows that I'm here
I woke him up, big mistake, but don't shed a tear

To show weakness brings more pain
he can't stand it. He'll hit again and again.
"It will be worse for you... the louder you cry"
Yeah thanks mum, I'll give that one a try.

White hot pain, flashing lights in my eyes
A good head shot, he says I told some lies?
"No dad, I didn't"... "Don't answer me BACK"
Oh Jesus this hurts, please stop this attack.

Pounding and thumping reletless and hard
I'm in agony but numb, am I in bed or in the yard?
Can't see or hear now, the ringing is loud
faintly "you're a disgrace, you'll never make me proud"

Years drift by, doesn't get any better, can't get any worse.
Is this my life? No, this is more like some kind of curse.
I grit my teeth and live it, one day I'll be free
I'm 30 now and over it. Do you agree?