Upstate New York
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there
all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might
live in Upstate New York.
If you're proud that your region makes the national
news 96 nights a year because Saranac Lake is the
coldest spot in the nation,
and Syracuse gets more snow than any other major city
in the US, you might live in Upstate, NY.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October
through May, you might live in Upstate New York.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six
months out of the
year, you might live, bundled up, in Upstate New York.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you
assistance, and they
don't work there, you might live in Upstate NY.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around
th e middle of his forehead, you might live in Upstate
New York.
If you have worn shorts and a parka on the same day,
you might live
in Upstate New York.
If you have had a lengthy phone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Upstate New York.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE UPSTATE NEW YORKER WHEN:
"Vacation" means going South past Syracuse for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You install security lights on your house and garage
and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your
girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter, and road construction.
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
Down South to you means Corning .
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed!
You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to
frost.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."
You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Upstate New York friends and to those who used to live here and left. (chickens!)
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