Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras.
1. November 24: Took 24 boxes of chocolate and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. November 24: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. November 27: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. November 27: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares...and watched what happened.
5. December 7: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.
6. December 7: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. December 10: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. December 13: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. December 16: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, then kissed the lens.
10. December 16: While handling guns in the hunting department asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 17: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 19: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 19: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!
And; last, but not least!
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
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