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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



Please remember this board can be (and is) accessed by children.
All jokes should be family friendly.
No profanity
No jokes of a sexual nature

KEEP IT PG rated

Thanks!



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6. Syyskuu 2006, 23:22:56
Skyking 
Otsikko: Think about it
Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about.:

Can you cry under water?






How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?






Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?






Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes your family picked out to bury you in for eternity?






Why does a round pizza come in a square box?






What disease did cured ham actually have?






How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?






Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?






If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?






Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?






Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?






Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.






Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?






Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?






If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?






If the professor on Gilligan's Island could make a radio out of a coconut, why couldn't he fix the hole in the boat?






Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?






Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs in Disney!






If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy himself some dinner?






If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?






If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?






Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?






Why did you just try singing the two songs above?






Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

8. Syyskuu 2006, 16:26:47
An Cat Dubh 
Otsikko: Re: Think about it

Skyking: Yes, you can cry underwater. Not only this, but you can cry underwater without people knowing you cry underwater!!


I suppose you have to be important enough to have no spare time to write these questions.


What does the first expression ('two cents') mean?


You get these funny white clothes when you're in heaven, remember?


Most likely it's for easier storage, or for pizza makers' stupidity.


I don't know what's cured ham.


Because we're dumb!


A baby sleeps about 16 hours a day, as far as I remember.


Maybe it's called 'the presenting'...


For the same reason you're not IN the screen.


They do it for the same reason they buy McDonalds and die from eating.


Because if they se you, it's called stripping.


Misprint in the dictionary, most likely.


Uh, right... No decent human... Just kidding. It's used for torments.


Who's Jimmy?


See the reason for man on moon and luggage.


Pointing at the crotch would be unpleasantly ambiguous.


Goofy made Pluto get used to be in doggy position... Hehe...


He does it for the challenge.


Haven't you read the ingredients?


I guess so!


The one who wrote the tune wasn't creative.


I didn't! Haha! I already knew they have the same tune!


If you blow his face from the side, would he still be mad?


14. Syyskuu 2006, 07:11:46
Gentlegiant101 
Otsikko: Re: Think about it
Skyking:round pizzas in square boxes because square pizzas don't fit in round boxes!
Morality from morons? Depends on what constitutes the morality in question. I may write mor....on that on another occasion! Thanks for your patients. I hope they get well real soon!
Can you cry under water? I sincerely can't answer that question. Nothing is stopping you from having a whale of a time trying to find out however!
Though the professor on Gilligan's Island was a very knowledgable man he wanted to keep the boat: hole and intact.
P.S. The boat, the S.S. Minnow is up for sale. It has been restored,not by a professor, and it is up for sale. The person selling it lives in Canada. And the hole is gone! Yes this post script leans towards perversion because there is nothing in it that constitutes comedy.

But lets'get funny. Not wanting one's two cents worth leads one to ask where the other penny went to? If I knew I might go and meet her and make her aquaintance. Things can get lonely here at times. Maybe that Penny would make a difference....if she isn't taken. She is probably an employee of the Federal government!
If I didn't answer all of your questions tell me and I'll complete the list of answers required.
In the meantime don't worry if your mind draws a blank. I was lousy at drawing and couldn't draw a gun to save my life!

14. Syyskuu 2006, 21:10:00
Skyking 
Otsikko: Re: Think about it
Gentlegiant101: Very inlightening LOL

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