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Jokes
A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)
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31. Mars 2004, 05:45:17
Backoff
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You gotta love Robin Williams... Leave it to Robin Williams to come up
with the perfect plan . what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand
up and repeat this message.
Robin William's plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan
for peace. So, here's one plan.
1.) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their
affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega,
Milosevic and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never "interfere"
again.
2.) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with
Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We
would station troops at our borders. No one sneaking through holes in the
fence.
3.) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave.
We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be
gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are.
France would welcome them.
4.) All ! future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days
unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be
allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide
here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more
cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5.) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers.
If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
6.) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy
wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will
require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will
have to cope for a while.
7.) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel!
for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go
somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells
filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8.) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will
not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain,
cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or
given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9.) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't
need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building
would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens
10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one
can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is
ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan.
"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your
tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling,
'You want a piece of me?'"
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