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 Jokes

A place to share jokes, funny stories, and to just laugh in general :-)



Please remember this board can be (and is) accessed by children.
All jokes should be family friendly.
No profanity
No jokes of a sexual nature

KEEP IT PG rated

Thanks!



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2. Juillet 2007, 21:16:21
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Oceans Apart: good play on words. you don't see that as much . it was a staple of comedy for a long time. mook

12. Novembre 2006, 20:39:51
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: your offer & heads up
King Reza: i have to join to see & tell some adult jokes. well king as long as you don't ask for my cr card # ok .i'd like to see the difference. i wasn't objecting to a clean board & have never been an offender .it was her tone i found objectionable.like . actung yavohl frau rose. anyway thanks for the heads up . i never saw her name & there was no title on her post saying who she was . we'll talk again if you wish . mook53lhd

12. Novembre 2006, 17:43:19
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: PLEASE READ
Rose: who died & gave you the job of censor. i understand your sentiments. i agree there are jokes inappropiate for children. but then again puratinism is more uncomely & your don'ts really DON'T GET IT in this country. i suggest if you're so concerned you make this site unaccessable to your kids ,unless you are there to scan the board 1st & delete what you will. i don't see any children er well .what i mean to say is i don't see any jokes here told by children .do what you feel you must to protect your offsprings if you feel this harmless innocuous board is a threat to their upbringing. but how dare you dictate to anyone else. i really haven't seen any vile,disgusting ,or totally inappropiate jokes since i've been reading them. no forbidden fruit here rose.i'm not writing this to insult you or demean your parental perogatives . but since noone else seems to care or have the elan to reply i have.i obey the admin rules. but an admin would never phrase a msg as you have .+ who is this we that you refer to. you yourself & you.you say there are joke boards for fellas where adult humor is tolerated . how ,or where are they & how are they reached. i read much more than i write & would like to see a joke told as it should be told. the delivery is every bit as important as the punchline .watered down jokes are usually ineffective & don't convey the story properly. i respect your looking out for your children. just didn't care for your attempted strongarm tactics mook53lhd

7. Novembre 2006, 02:15:22
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: Bottle of wine
Thad: eh a real laUgher mATE. MOOK

4. Novembre 2006, 17:55:18
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Sarah1980: is that a sequel to the mice ran up the clock joke. anyway the pic is very good [.a very dry &wry wit] (say that 5* fast mook53lhd

31. Octobre 2006, 15:02:48
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Sarah1980: very good a bit sardonic ha ha ha. but good clean. mook53lhd

31. Octobre 2006, 01:33:46
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Sarah1980: another power ranger fan. awright. ha ha ha. power rangers with a walker. aside from the kids i wonder if anyone knows what that means. i dig those mystic rangers. mook

31. Octobre 2006, 01:30:23
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Sarah1980: thats a g. not bad either mook53lhd

31. Octobre 2006, 01:24:42
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: Moderators Guidelines.
Purple: thanks lets see what others said if anything. + the new jokes mook53lhd

29. Octobre 2006, 17:13:06
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: Moderators Guidelines.
Rose: maybe children shouldn't have access to all msg boards . now we all know what the egg joke was really about. gving his all on the kitchen table. its still a funny joke & relatively clean. it wasn't censored .so how do you determine a g rating.? i think its easier to make jokes for adults only .if you really want some real jokes. i have plenty of jokes without a dirty word in them. but the subject matter might not be g . i wouldn't know. so i don't tell them. i think the kids should just be able to play the games. maybe have a message board for kids .they can make friends to play with .learn about other countries. i really don't think adults should be censored in this way. i agree jokes with %^*^%$ & rediculous or ?nable material shouldn't make the board. but that egg joke made it .there have been similar. but someone will post something & get chastised for it, not meaning to offend anyone. i think this policy of watch what you say on a joke board because kids are involved needs to be looked at. a joke needs to be told or delivered properly to be effective. if we have to change things around the joke might not even be funny. i've seen some of that. just an opinion. you say the kids the kids crosseyed. but if that 3 min egg joke can pass then just about any joke without profanity should pass. its clearly obvious what is being talked about in the egg joke. young children won't understand it .but kids 10 & up might to some extent. so really i see no set policy here. i think you're out of line crosseyes. you know you can use parental control. so wheres the beef. in closing i think explicit dirty jokes or profanity should be out . but thats about all. i will gladly accept any feedback. i like the board .i've seen some good stories & jokes. since theres no delay & your post goes right up there ,i mean noone reads it & says nope can't print that 1.i think so far so good . i appreciate your concern crosseyes but think its misplaced here so far, as in my estimation the jokes are ok since i've been reading them. mook53lhd

29. Octobre 2006, 16:49:57
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: Egg Timer:
King Reza: ever hear of 3 min eggs. ?well he was a 3 min guy . mook53lhd

29. Octobre 2006, 00:59:51
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: sent by a good friend of mine
Fiona: thats a good 1 .especially with halloween coming. very good mook53lhd

23. Octobre 2006, 18:21:43
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: U2 concert
BananaD: 1 for funny. purely being humorous. .it couldv'e been said differently for sure . say everytime you clap "someone in the world kicks the bucket from it.or a gentler way someone in the world contracts it mook53lhd

2. Octobre 2006, 19:00:30
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Universal Eyes: thats an oldie but goodie.all your friends call the # on your unlimited . when he `s EXASPERATED this is melvin . pretty funny gag. mook

2. Octobre 2006, 18:57:33
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Universal Eyes: very good observation. but i think the price went up. . no no i don't know from personal experience. i may even have it confused with the psychics prices. just another sad commentory on life in general these days. if it is a joke at all .its on us ,as most now are. like the pervert from fla. why would a guy who must know must hes abnormal (ok sick) run for a position of trust. knowing today if you are living against the grain you will be found out. do you think he ran for office purely because there were many young boys working there & he would be their superior. quite spooky & scary if you dwell on it. but as i said your original observation was really astute . a shame but still correct.query how will comedians make a living in the future. everything they poke fun at will be less & less humorous ,or perhaps riproaring funny as our values vanish in the sewer. mook

21. Septembre 2006, 16:25:00
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: Anger Management
skipinnz: i didn't do nuttin,wasn't even there,what lawn where ?/ ha ha. a little muggs mcginnis mook

20. Septembre 2006, 23:03:10
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: Anger Management
Summertop: yes it was just when phone calls rose to a dime. sometimes we'd send tons of food to one of the stores & watch the fun.we only did that to merchants who weren't kid friendly. mook53lhd

20. Septembre 2006, 18:59:21
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: Anger Management
The Listener: i`m sorry of all my phone capers,i never thought of that . but-- we'd get togethor when we were teens & make prank calls. i'd say hi i'm joe blaugh from the utility co. we've been getting complaints from your sector of brownouts etc. has your place been hit .then they get nervous,. expecting their house to go dark. i go on .then tell them that sometimes the st. lamps can short things out. i go through how & why etc. finally .oh its pouring rain when i did this 1. i ask them where their nearest lamppost is .i know they can't see it from the window as i live across the st. so i say listen . you don't want your grid to get hit & ruin your food,no tv etc go outside & tell me if your lampost is on or off. no cordless phones then. so the guys outside in the rain with the phone. he says his cord won't reach. i said i need you to put the phone down get over where you can see ,come back & report if its on or off from my window we see the guy doing this.he comes back drenched out of breadth. i say so which is it?. he says gee i hope its ok its on. i reply no it ain't blow it out %^*&%$$#(i know the kids). cruel yes deranged yes. but we didn't have gameboxes or cell phones to dally with .capers also were a rite of passage. i had a phone for awhile .i could stick a mike or recorder on the phone & record the happenings to put in the next time capsule. hope you found the story amusing, as every 1 of us has some caperman or women in them. i'm sure most of you ---baby boomers for sure can relate mook53lhd

7. Septembre 2006, 12:37:37
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Summertop: nothin,like a wry wit mook53lhd

22. Août 2006, 04:18:40
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
yoyudax: thats great very good.now if you`d just pull my finger . ah thank you. M

31. Juillet 2006, 03:38:45
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Sarah1980: did you ever work in the catskills?. a good one. mook

25. Juillet 2006, 15:48:52
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: Habits
JackS: ha ha --don`t get in the habit. good 1 mook

25. Juillet 2006, 15:45:37
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
WatfordFC: very good .+ to those of us who are getting up there in yrs= a propos mook53lhd

22. Juillet 2006, 19:06:05
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: Some Sayings of Maharishi Fattibumbum
Haridaspal: very very good. a perverse joke where the joke is always on us. ain`t it the way! mook53lhd

21. Juillet 2006, 15:43:08
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: Anger Management
The Listener: you`re an A-1 caperman . my congrats sir. ha ha .keep up the good stuff mookster

18. Juillet 2006, 15:14:59
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: dang roommates...
rednaz23: now theres a person with a morbid wry wit. hooray hooray hooray ad infinititum mook

8. Juillet 2006, 02:47:13
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: An old one
Skyking: very good as i`m not a fan of hers. by the way. hows penny & the songbird. ? mook53lhd

7. Juillet 2006, 03:35:55
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re: what crossed the road?
nobleheart: hey i liked most of them. can`t beat a corny clean joke. mookster

7. Juillet 2006, 02:33:52
mook53lhd 
Sujet: jokes
what do you get when you cross a french poodle with a chicken pooched eggs of course .well i haven`t seen anyone else attempt 1 mook53lhd

6. Juillet 2006, 03:25:41
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
prettymama: so essentially they`re 2 huge water balloons hmm .didn`t want to say bazooms.but if the pic got by ,i guess a funny word can. mook

1. Juillet 2006, 00:06:44
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Sarah1980: i`ve been to the big texan in amarillo ,i savvy about texas .amusing story. i spent over a whole day (in the olden days) hitching up from el paso to dallas .bigger than big the eyes of texas were sure upon me . mook53lhd

29. Juin 2006, 17:58:23
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Sarah1980: ???? meant questioning. as in i didn`t get your posts gist. i should have said what are you questioning ---i just made a blanket statement. how can you not like ????? .anyway my error for confusing you. i try & type the least possible amount of char. oh characters. my keyboard skips etc anyway i type with 1 finger. believe it i get aches & pains there at times. so i use symbols or 4 =for thats all it was.so tell me a joke mook53lhd

29. Juin 2006, 00:40:25
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Sarah1980: that 1 i liked. good show .in clcks ha ha ha hooo hooo mook

29. Juin 2006, 00:35:35
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Sarah1980: what are you. ????? i simply made a statement. if you`re referring to the k missing in the last line my keyboard &^%% anyway .i was saying jokes are good medicine .its the thought even if the jokes not so good. but its always better to tell the joke anyway. i added well maybe you shouldn`t at a funeral. i don`t know sara it made sense to me when i wrote it.>>>>>hare you are mook.

27. Juin 2006, 17:28:09
mook53lhd 
Sujet: Re:
Sarah1980: you re right should have taken your advice. nah seriously there can never be anything wrong with trying to elicit a laugh from your fellow man or woman. even a corny joke can be funny. in general i would say trying to tell a funny can never be wrong. well --- i should clarify. you don t crack joes at a funeral etc mook53lhd

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