As the lights flickered again, the figure said:'would you switch them off - I might melt from the heat.'

Mark got up from the table and turned all but one off.

'You will have to excuse me - I need more coffee!' he said, and went to the kitchen.

Fresh coffee in his mug, he returned to the lounge to find not one but several figures on the table, all with a bit of toast that they had divided between themselves. He would have to make some more. As he went back to the kitchen he vowed that he would never again buy butter from the new store he had got that from and never again would he mix his drinks!

But he found out he hadn't drank alot the night before. He soon convinced himself he was dreaming and was humoring the hallucinations

Skyking: can you invite endgame to this fellowship please. He's a lot of fun at this sort of thing. I don't know if you remember the Yoghurt Theatre? Stemmed from an out of date Yogurt, found in a refrigerator and now a congealed mess ( we won't go there just now!). Thanks.

I don't invite,in discussion, I think he just walks in? LOL

OK I'll let him know - I know he is interested.

And that was when the black berry Jam ooozed its way out of an open jar onto the table. It formed a second figure which grabbed up a sugar spoon to wield it at the butterman," I'll have that crust my friend," it bubbled.
"Oh great," said the butterman,"He's always alongside me trying to hog all the glory."
And then the glass of milk turned black, its shape felt warm and soft in Mark's hand...

as he threw it down. Before Mark knew it he was yelling at the objects to Quit fighting.

the objects not only quit fighting, the disintergrated and formed a black hole, sucking everything up around them

Including Mark

As Mark followed the objects down they all landed in a field of flowers

Mark knew how Alice felt falling down the Rabbit hole. All the objects seemed to run in one direction away from him.

for some reason this included his shoes....they were making strange squeeking/honking sounds as they ran...and Mark's feet were still in them...he sat very still and watched as his legs began to stretch for miles...

Finally the elixir began to wear off.

Mark found himself in his garage

As he heads back in the house he finds a flask that he remembers drinking the night before. He remembers he bought it at a drugstore down the street. The name had finky drink on it. He remembers he wanted to see what it tasted like. well he found out and then some. A very halucinating drink

'Drink Me' it read on the flask. "Well no wonder I had hallucinations of butter and jam figures, and falling like Alice in Wonderland!" he thought to himself. "Good stuff!", he laughed.

Grabbing his coat he went back to that store and picked up a sixpack of FINKY DRINK, placed it in his refridge and sat down . sipping the drink he seemed to feel the room was getting smaller or Mark was getting bigger he was not sure.

"Here we go again," he chuckled to himself. What did he care, it was still pouring down rain. "This is as good as it's going to get," he reasoned. Then he decided to get up & make sure the lids on the butter & jam conainers were on tight.

The containers were gone. sooon he hit his head onthe ceiling. Soon he could see what was in the attic as Mark's hard head broke the ceiling.

"This is NOT happening!" he tried to reassure himself. But here he was looking around in his attic that he had broken through with his head! With one hand holding the can of 'Finky Drink', he lifted his other through the broken, plaster- ripped ceiling & felt the top of his head. Sure enough a lump was beginning to form. "Ow," he exclaimed at the touch, "Well I'll be damned."

Hi Skyking - got your message!

Suddenly he was aware of somehting on his legs - he looked down and saw the butter men climbing up his legs
He shook his left leg, but they only clung on tighter.

So, he grabbed the nearest thing in sight, a loaf of bread! He took a piece of the bread and siped it on his leg. "well, I know what I'll be having with supper tonight!", he exclaimed.

Ok I'm not touching anymore post. You all write the story I'll just sit back and read what you write

he looked around to try and find something that would go with the bread and butter men.
He found it. Some vegemite. Yummyyyyyyyy

"YeoWwwwww!!" Mark cried out, Something had just bit his hand! Dropping the piece of bread, he drew his hand to his face. "You don't expect to eat us without a fight first now do you?!" shouted one of the buttermen that was standing on Mark's hand. Staring in disbelief, Mark blinked hard at the reality of what he was seeing. The swiped butter had reformed itself back into the form of a little butterman. He shook the butterman off & it fell to the floor. Mark knelt down to pick up the slice of bread & saw there was not a lick of butter left on it.

As the butterman ran off he turned and said: 'You could at least have used marmite! it tastes better!'

Soon Mark was so big that he grew and tore the roof off the house. Outside it was raining so the attic and first floor got wet. All of a sudden because of his weight he fell through the first floor to the base ment. All this time Butterman and his buddy's were crawling back up his legs.

Sticking his hands into the attic part, Mark pulled out a rolled up Tent and threw it over his head and hoping it would keep the rain from flooding his house. Butterman and his cohorts were still climbing him.

But Mark realised he had made a big mistake when Butterman and his pals started wrapping the guy ropes from the tent round his arms and legs, so tight he couldn't move.

"Hey!" Mark screamed out at them. Tripping on the ropes that bound his legs, he fell like a tower crashing to the ground. Every thing was a blur and when Mark came to his senses, he realized he was no longer in his own neighborhood. His broken house was gone and he was surrounded by a field of flowers with buttermen running all over him.

So, his house, Garage and the store were not really there. He had still been in strange land among the flowers. With his big feet. and watching Butterman running away into the fields. Mark had slept only a few minutes. He followed Butterman ad his friends through a path that lead to the woods. There he fell apon a log cabin..

Where, lo and behold, lived the jam people. "you really didn't think we would leave without a fight, did you?", asked the jamman. Mark replied,"Well, when you left the house, yeah, I guess I kinda thought you were gone for good!" To which the jamman replied, "Well, that's what you get for thinking! HAHAHAHAHA! Wait till you see what's in sore for you!"

With that the jammen ran toward Mark feet forming a slick pool of jam that caused him to slip & fall. Together the jam & the buttermen hoisted ropes & bound them around Mark. It happened quick as lightning & before Mark could even stop them, he realized he was their captive. The buttermen & jammen stood on Mark's chest & together they opened a flask they held in their wee small hands.

Mark protested, "What are you doing to me?!" They held the flask to Marks lips as he tried to turn away. It read "Drink Me" on its label. Two of the buttermen that stood on Marks neck rammed their swords into his lip. Mark let out a yell and they poured the drink down his throat. Mark sputtered & coughed. He began to feel dizzy & everything started to spin. Everything began to get larger as he began to get smaller.

Mark read to many stories that have invaded his mind. Someting has inhansed his reading of Gulliver's travels mixed with Alice in Wonderland. (What's in store for him from reading wizard of OZ?

All of a sudden butterman pocked him with a fork in the stomach which caused him to throw up all over the clan. Outside a lion roared. (It had to happen) all the clan were scared away as the beast broke down the door and Untied Mark. Come with me spoke the lion.

Mortified, Mark stood staring at the lion as if the very life had been sucked out from him. "We need to leave this place!" shouted the lion. Still Mark stood not wavering. "Come on!" Growled the lion, "We have to leave before the witch comes!" The lion took Mark by hs arm and pulled him out the door. Mark was led like a child by his mother. Everything was surreal. He marveled at the way he fit through the door as he walked under its frame. Then the words hit him. "A what?" yelled Mark, "Did you say a witch?"

Running along, Mark and the lion meet up with the Tinman. He was chopping a tree for a fire for the lion and himself. "Oh my, we got company. This was more than his mind could comprehind. Mark expected to see Dorthy. "May I ask where Dorothy is?,The lion grumbled as the tinman said. "Oh Dorothy went home a year ago." Ok then where,s the Scarecrow. Lion barked" He's Mayor of Emerald City. What witch you talking about."You ask too many Questions" snarled the Lion. The other sister to the witch we killed

"You said to get out of the cabin before the 'Witch' comes!" "Oh, replied the lion, "I only said that to get you moving, why everyone is afraid of witches!" "There aren't any witches here that I know of now, But it is those Butter and Jam men that we fear. Why, they're worse than those flying wretched monkeys the witch left behind when Dorothy melted her!" "How can they be so terrible?" "They're tiny forms of nothing!" "They're made out of nothing but imaginations of butter & jam! The whole thing's Ridiculous!" exploded Mark.

"I wish those tiny forms of Jam & Butter men were only imagined, began the Tinman, but they are very real & very dangerous." "How so?" Mark asked. "Have you heard of Nanotechnology ? asked the lion. Mark remembered Michael Crichton's book 'Prey', "You mean they've been genetically engineered with intelligence?" "Yes, answered the lion, the butter & jam that you purchased was 0 cholesterol & 0 fat, right?" "Yes, answered Mark, it was a new brand." "That brand was manufactured full of nanorobots designed to rid your body of fats & disease at a modular level, but unfortunately these protein-designed molecules have self-reproduced & can self assemble into any form. They change forms & they are quick as lightning because of their catalyst reactions!" "When it mixed with the food products, the nano robots mass-produced & have taken over the Kingdom of Oz."

the butter and jam men began to climb atop each other, forming a larg mass of butter and jam. growing larger and larger. it was all purple and yellow. " if only there was nano bread" exclaimed the lion.

just then a brown cloud appered above them. swirling around into different shapes as it descended on the yellow and purple mass of butter and jam men. a kind of arm formed from them as if to ward off the amorphous cloud. but to no avail. it enveloped the mass completly and began to solidify. " what is going on?" wondered the tinman.

as the cloud grew solid, it began to flatten out, moving lower on to the ground, until at last it was comlpetely flat with the butter and jammen crushed beneath. the lion gathered all his courage and approached. " look at this" he said. " the cloud has become bread. we have here the biggest butter and jam sandwich in the world."

HOW MANY WEBTV PEOPLE ARE ON NOW??! -- z-rOW ?

îêëčê ê êîðîëþ êðûñû!!

ANd then Mark saw a witch appear...a sandwich with extra mayo...two flaps of bacon hanging from her body like limp appendages...she was riding a bottle of HP sauce and had a voice like Angela Lansbury crossed with an old truck driver with a 2 pack a day habit.....and with a gross motion of her hand she flung grease at the lion who had run for the nearest wardrobe....

Mark ran with the lion into the wardrobe along with the tinman and it was dark till they got to the end of it. "What was that all about" Asked a brefuddled Mark. Oh that's the witch from hades who has been battling the Butter and Jam people who she created. Guess she finally came out to catch them after hiring many bounty hunters. As the witch changed the sandwich into a blob The Lion, Tinman and Mark heard birds and running water from the other side of the tunnel. She won't harm us unless she finds this portal. All this Reminded Mark of his Reading all
books of Narnia

Out the tunnel they saw the stream that was flowing and they were overlooking a valley with a village below. A mighty river flowed on the other side. "I will move ahead and check for dangered, snarled the lion. The Tinman pulled out his oil can for a refresher on his joints

Mark kept rubbing his tired eyes to try waking up from this dream. How long had he been dreaming, he should have been to work a few hours ago..all he kept thinking was he had been fired