There was a man, an arrogant man, his name was Honorificabilitudinitatibus.
There was also another man, his name was, Floccinaucinihilipilification.
Honorificabilitud
initatibus,
was a proud man, Floccinaucinihilipilification was more contradictive, and disliked Honorificabilitudinitatibus. So they sat at the end of a dock one day. This day was boring for the both of them. A bird flys from the apex of a tree, landing next to the two, her name was Élan, she says,
“Can I solve this onus, minatory, stygian, making Gemutlich?"

The angst of Honorificabilitudinitatibus came. But! Before the water at their feet swam a fish, his name was Contretemps, he said to Honorificabilitudinitatibus, and Floccinaucinihilipilification, "The both of you are being rather hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian."

MindSpy :0)

I guess I better start telling some jokes!
Because...man...nevermind...

ΜīήďSрŷ: well, i hope you enjoyed. i worked on it for quite sometime.

The poor dwarf couldn't figure why this Doctor Who and companion were following him, yet he kept hiding behind trees and bushes.

hey we got a monkey for a mod! : )
Congrats Groucho and good luck with the board

baddessi: ;) thanks baddessi

Kewlness Groucho Way to Go!

Congrats Groucho! you old reprobate, you!

Eriisa:

The Birth of Religion

(This piece was developed from a mail I received a few years ago from a friend in Kerala.)

Religion today has become a major player in world politics. People are using the ‘Religion’ card everywhere to gain political advantage. From terrorists to local councillors, everyone is invoking religion to muster support. The actual role of religion in one’s life is gradually becoming irrelevant. Time is ripe, perhaps, to have a close look at religion in general, and history of religion in particular, to get a clear picture.

To understand religion, one must first understand legion. Before you ask why, let me remind you that everything has to have a root. Like beer. Or arrow. There is a school of thought that believes that legion is the root of religion. This is the school I attended once, albeit intermittently.

In Roman times soldiers were formed into legions. In those days men couldn't count too well. Thus ‘legions’ came to mean ‘many’, irrespective of the actual number of men in the Roman ‘Legion’. A ‘legionary’ was the leader of a ‘legion’. Why it would be so is one of those unsolved mysteries of history.

Legionnaire seems to be the French form of legionary, but it isn’t. It simply implies one belonging to a legion. The most famous Legionnaire of all times is of course Legionnaire Beau Peep. This little Beau Peep never had any sheep to lose. Thus when he lost sleep he couldn’t count sheep. Owing to his quaint French accent, one can imagine him saying "lost sheep" when referring to any vessel passing through the Bermuda triangle, but that is quite irrelevant to our serious discussion of today.

Legionnaires, too, sometimes had their legions to lead. They would lead until it was time to take French leave. Thus, as the French leaves piled up, a thorough record had to be maintained. This led to the birth of a study of legion in ancient Mesopotamia or thereabouts. All this study material was neatly stored in a folder marked Re: Legion. Needless to say, this led, albeit indirectly, to the birth of religion. Obviously, some scribe must have misspelled ‘Relegion’ when translating the folder from Latin. The rest, as they say, is history.

It is well known that Karl Marx described religion as the opiate of the masses. This assertion only reveals Marx’s pathetic lack of experience in the subtle nuances of opium based hallucinogens. In this respect one would do well to remember the not-so-famous saying of the other Marx, Groucho, "Legion is the Mass of the Opiates." There is no record of Groucho ever having said this, but who else could have made such a statement? This one small sentence draws at once a vivid and descriptive picture of the Roman Legion, the Chinese Opium War and Einstein’s Theory of Relative Mass Movement. If you ask how, well that’s another unsolved mystery.

Historically ‘hysteria’ is another word that can easily be linked to ‘mass’, ‘opium’ and ‘religion’. However no one has to date linked hysteria with legion. If we do so we get ‘stampede’ under Roman boots. That is not too significant by itself but if you only consider the undeniable fact that Roman cobblers made Roman boots then perhaps you see the light. If and when you do, you can explain it to me, I can’t make head or tail of all this.

Coming back to legions, legionnaires and legionaries, leghorn has absolutely nothing to do with legion. Yet legions had to be fed; as the well known adage states, you cannot fight on an empty stomach. So one can imagine legions of leghorns marching down the Roman trade routes, with their own legionaries perhaps, to be methodically converted to Chicken Sicilian. Until the advent of Bird Flu, at least.

Leg irons are another example of ancient Roman militarism. You have perhaps noticed that leg irons are nothing but legions with an ‘space’ and a ‘r’ within. Which is most interesting, to say the least. However all that is beyond the scope of our present discourse, so we shall move on to the next important item.

As we have already established, legions gave birth to religions, and thank God they did! Because religions gave birth to holidays. To think how many holidays would have been lost if it were not for religions, especially in India, makes one shudder in awe and bewilderment. And of course it goes without saying so I shall go without saying anything further.

The dwarf came upon a Queen who noticed the glowing object that Tickwater had in his hand. The Doctor feeling upset by this incounter but could not let himself be seen by Tickwater or this Queen.

The Doctor, on one of his trips about the year 2268 learned about not interfering in someones world when he met up with a chap name James Kirk

Tuesday:

Tuesday:LOL

Skyking: He got tired of doing silly commercials LOL

Tickwater sliped the glowing object into his pocket as th Queen led him to her castle.

Tom went to the barn and weved his way into the demolished structure. Plugging his ears with his fingers and shutting his eyes, he wanted to drown out his senses to the horror going on outside.

He safely waited hours before he left the barn. Late afternoon the sky was clear and seems all life had vanisheed..no humans, the slautered cows and animals

Skyking: and in the midst of it all was James T. Kirk..reading from a book called Tekwars.
Kirk paused and the spoke the words he'd remember for the rest of his life "We..werejust...going to go swimming in...mynewpool."

then he added, "by the way, do you know the Doctor...I think he's with the Queen."
"Who?" asked Tom in shock...feeling that Kirk had escaped more than one fictional account before into others....
"Exactly," responded Kirk.

lets start a new story

once upon a time lived a spot on a dot

He kept stumbling as the Queen became violant dragging Tickwater up stairs to her thrown room

Skyking: He headed for the nearest town that wasn't there....

Skyking: I dont see how that applies to my story? the other stories are long dead lets create a new one

A town entirely inhabited by the ghosts of red shirted ensigns from Star Trek...somewhere in the distance this song was playing....

http://home.wanadoo.nl/~sytze/sttrekkin

star trekkin across the universe...always moving foreward because we can't find reverse....

SafariGal: I'm sorry you don't like the way I do something on here.Take it up with the moderator

Skyking: The moderator says all story ideas are welcome. Even those that are old. I enjoy your contributions Skyking. ;)

while she was dragging him she talked of whips and chains and reindeer games....he was afraid she might be a little unhinged.

Groucho: Thanks..but if you find any of my stories in bad taste you may remove them or edited them

Horseman: Thanks for the Star Trek Site. LOL

SafariGal: I'm not trying to be a creep but is the spot a stain
or a dog named Spot?

Skyking: :)

Tom found a crater in the town spot. He dis covered the earth was bombarded by a meteour shower.

The Queen yelled "Give me that Christal. Tickwater only intimidated her with "I don't have what your looking for. The queen lifted him up and shhook him but nothing flew out. She then threw Tickwater down the stairs to a gaurd. "Go cut his head of so I can feed it to the dogs" She yelled . The Doctor and Sarah heard this yelling from outside. They were up in a tree next to the window. "We must help him" Sarah pleaded With The Doctor. "And what pray tell do you want us to do about it?" grumbled The Doctor.

Skyking: anytime matey

as he began to spin a crazy, cunning plan, the good doctor began to look for vaccuum cleaner parts....

"OK why vacuum parts?" Sarah asked. She still hadn't figured the Doctor out yet. Tickwater had escaped from the clutches of the guard...

because dear girl," the dr replied, "their ae parts in the vaccuum cleaner that are inexpensive and can be made into various types of killer robots...much like a phone booth...."

The members of the family arrive..looking tired, beaten, and worn by life. These are the stories of "The Homeless".

gogul: How was it splendid? What did you experience?

gogul: And in France. Oh my.

My first story is about a family that came to our agency on a hot summer day. The family unit consisted of 3 generations, headed by the grandmother - who was only in her early 40's.

gogul: You're kidding, aren't you!

gogul: Okay, and what year are we speaking of? So, you chose this lifestyle for some time. Very interesting. Pray tell something interesting that happened during that time.

gogul: I have found gogul, that our families bond, some of them do, others attack each other and come whining to me about trivial things. I've seen substance abuse, child abuse, spousal/significant other abuse, tales that make me wonder, why do we have to suffer so? Yes, most of them suffer a malady, and you are correct, there is no reason for hunger on this earth.

gogul: And to address your statement of lack of health care: You are so on target. Even in the United States (God Bless Us! :,) we have millions of people without access to affordable healthcare!

gogul: I don't know what your are saying, or trying to do... sounds like you want to make a laughing matter of this..