- What's your favorite chicken? Fried Barbequed Broiled Rubber - Why did the pigs cross the road with their laundry? They wanted to do their hogwash snork snork snork - Why did the one-handed chicken cross the road? To get to the secondhand shop. - Why did the rabbit cross the road? to get to the hopping mall. - Why did the wasp cross the road? It needed to go to the waspital - How do you keep a dog from crossing the road? You put him in a barking lot. - Why did the otter cross the road? To get to the otter side. - Where do animals go when they lose their tails? They go across the road to the retail shop. - and last but not least,these: Why did the chicken cross the muddy road and not come back? Because he didn't want to be a dirty double-crosser. - Why did the hen go halfway across the road and stop? She wanted to lay it on the line. -
There once was an angler from Brooklyn
Who ate all the fish that he took in
He was once heard to wish
While eating his fish
"I shouldn't have left the damn hook in"
--
There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think -
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
amandalove: ty amanda,that is soo cool,and appeals to my scifi intellect.any more like that,feel free to share.
-----
how about these:
A graduate student from Trinity
Computed the cube of infinity;
But it gave him the fidgets
To write down all those digits,
So he dropped math and took up divinity.
--
A burleycque dancer, a pip
Named Virginia, could peel in a zip;
But she read science fiction
and died of constriction
Attempting a Moebius strip.
--
Three jolly sailors from Blaydon-on-Tyne,
They went to sea in a bottle by Klein,
Since the sea was inside the hull,
The scenery seen was exceedingly dull.
--
A research professor Renee,
Cloned people from ape DNA.
The project went well,
Anyone can tell,
'Cause they're members of congress today.
--
Miss Farad was pretty and sensual
And charged to a reckless potential;
But a rascal named Ohm
Conducted her home -
Her decline was, alas, exponential.
--
There once was a girl named Irene,
who lived on distilled kerosene.
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon,
And since then has never benzene!
--
An electron, while trav'ling in space,
Met a positron there "face-to-face."
The electron then sighed,
At the sight of his bride
And they "died" in a loving embrace.
--
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