wyoming
> >>>>
> >>>> 60 above zero: Arizonians turn on the heat. People
> >>>> in Wyoming plant gardens.
> >>>>
> >>>> 50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably.
> >>>> People in Casper sunbathe.
> >>>>
> >>>> 40 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start.
> >>>> People in Wyoming
> >>>> drive with the windows down.
> >>>>
> >>>> 32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in
> >>>> Jackson Hole gets thicker.
> >>>>
> >>>> 20 above zero: Floridians don coats, thermal
> >>>> underwear, gloves, wool
> >>>> hats. People in Wyoming throw on a flannel shirt.
> >>>>
> >>>> 15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up
> >>>> the heat. People in
> >>>> Wyoming have the last cookout before it gets cold.
> >>>>
> >>>> Zero: People in Miami all die. People in Wyoming
> >>>> close the windows.
> >>>>
> >>>> 10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico
> >>>> People in Wyoming get
> >>>> out their winter coats.
> >>>>
> >>>> 25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl
> >>>> Scouts in Wyoming are
> >>>> selling cookies door to door.
> >>>>
> >>>> 40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air.
> >>>> People in Wyoming
> >>>> let the dogs sleep indoors.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> 100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
> >>>> Wyoming drivers
> >>>> get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
> >>>>
> >>>> 460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute
> >>>> zero on the Kelvin
> >>>> scale.) People in Wyoming start saying..."Cold 'nuff
> >>>> fer y a?"
> >>>>
> >>>> 500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Wyoming public
> >>>> schools will open 2
> >>>> hours late.
> >>>>
> >>>

When you are sad........I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the idiot that mad you sad.

When you are scared........I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried........I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.

When you are confused........I will use little words to explain it to your =$*&&#^s.

When you are lost........I will answer my cell phone and give you directions.

When you are sick........I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.

When you fall.......I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.



This is my oath I pledge till the end.
Why? You may ask.
Because you're my friend

prettymama: ALWAYS LIKED THAT!!!!!!!

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________



OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________

SHOPPI
NG MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________


HAPPINES
S

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________


LONGEVI
TY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________


PROPENS
ITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________


DISCUSS
ION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
_____________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING
YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED



Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.


SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH

AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.

ty

http://llerrah.com/newyearwishes.htm

Why, Why, Why ?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

BIG BAD WOLF: toooooo cute!!!!!!!!

playBunny: rofl

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned on the phone answering machine, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they
had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.

They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab."Sorry I took so long", he says as they drive away. "Stupid witch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her
fat bum downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cabdriver hit a parked car...

too cute rabbitoid

New Cell Phone Law

According to a proposed new law that would go into effect Jan 1, 2006 you will no longer be able to use a cell phone while driving unless you have a "hands ! free" adapter. I went to Circuit City and they wanted $50 for a headset with a microphone for my cell phone. Having a friend in the cell phone business, I talked with him and was able to come up with an alternative, working through Office Depot.

These kits are compatible with any mobile phone and one size fits all. I paid him $0.08 each because he bought in quantity. Then we tried it with Motorola, Sprint, Verizon and Nokia units and they worked perfectly.

A photo is attached so scroll down & take a look and let me know if you want one. Also, forward this to anyone you know, who has a cell phone, and who may want one!

sorry pic didn't go through......but it was a rubber band around the head holding the cell phone in its leather holder to the ear,.:)










I can hear you laughing. I thought you could use a laugh.

volant: always loved those rofl

<From the Bizarre News Archives >>>>>>>>>>>>
CLASSIC BIZARRE NEWS - Tuesday, December 6, 2005
"A wild journey into the history of the most bizarre stories EVER."
+---------------------- Bizarre Laws ----------------------+
NEW YORK

It is illegal to shoot at a rabbit from a moving trolley.

Flirting with a woman can earn a fine of $25. A second
conviction is punishable by making the offender wear horse
blinders in public.

It's illegal to speak to a person while riding in an elevator
and you must fold your hands while looking forward.

You must purchase a license to hang clothes on a clothesline.

According to New York City statues the following means of
making a living are illegal: skinning horses or cows, burning
offal, growing ragweed and burning bones.

Before enactment of the 1978 law that made it mandatory for
dog owners in New York City to clean up after their pets,
approximately 40 million pounds of excrement were deposited
on the streets every year.

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head
for fun.

The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb
to the nose and wiggling the fingers".

***

----- Padded Bra Gives Woman 'False' Sense of Security -----

FRANKENMUTH, Michigan - Bullet proof vests have been around
a while, but have you ever heard of a nail proof bra? Dana
Colwell, 31, was cutting the grass at her Frankenmuth home
when a one-and-a-half inch nail shot out from under the
mower and punctured her right breast. Fortunately, she was
wearing her Maidenform padded "liquid-curved" bra, which
broke the speed of the nail enough so it stopped short of
her heart. She told reporters she'll make sure she's wearing
the breast-enhancing bra whenever she mows the lawn in the
future. I am sure her neighbors will love to know that too.
--------------------- Here Be Dragons ----------------------

LOS ANGELES ZOO - San Francisco Chronicle executive editor
Phil Bronstein was attacked by a Komodo dragon last week
during a visit to the LA Zoo. Bronstein's wife, actress
Sharon Stone, had arranged a private tour of the Zoo as a
Father's Day surprise. The highlight of the day was going
to be an up close visit with one of the giant lizards with
which Bronstein has had a long-time fascination. Bronstein
was asked to take off his white shoes before entering the
cage to keep the 5-foot-long reptile from mistaking them
for the white rats it is fed. The strategy did not work as
the dragon lunged for one of his feet and nearly managed to
take off Bronstein's big toe. Doctors were able to rebuild
most of the toe. The dragon was not injured.

------------ Brazilian Sperm Bank Needs a Hand -------------

SAO PAULO, Brazil - Reserves are dangerously low in Sao Paulo,
Brazil. Sperm reserves, that is. To help boost "donations,"
the Department of Human Reproduction at the Albert Einstein
Hospital has launched an aggressive campaign. In one advertise-
ment, a baby boy holds a "Playboy" magazine with the following
tagline under it: "Give it a hand so that he can be born."
Worried about the depleting sources, coordinators are hoping
the "Playboy" ads will draw more attention. Fertility special-
ist Dr. Jorge Hallack explained the urgency: "Nine in ten
potential donors are rejected, so in order to have a reasonable
stock of good semen, we need to research the semen of at least
1,500 men."
-------------- Burglars Strike During TV Time --------------

BERLIN, Germany - Over 16 million people were glued to their
television sets Sunday for the Formula One motor race. Peter
W. and Hannelore T. were no exception. They were so involved
with the race on TV, apparently, that it was two hours until
they realized they had been burglarized. As they cheered for
their favorite driver burglars broke in a window on the first
floor and went through all the drawers and closets escaping
with over $4,500 in jewelry. Peter claimed, "We didn't hear a
thing." Maybe next time he'll listen when his wife tells him
to turn down the television volume.

-- Restless Robber Gets Busted After Drug Induced Cat Nap --

AHMAN, Jordan - A jittery robber became a little too relaxed
after taking sleeping tablets to calm his nerves during a
raid on a hospital pharmacy. The thief managed to slip into
the pharmacy through the cooling system, which was undergoing
maintenance work. He proceeded to take three tablets from
the haul of medication he had stolen and promptly fell asleep
while still on the premises. He was found by hospital employ-
ees who alerted police.

ArnieTxx: kewel responces folks

uuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm let see ..........lol just thought i'd liven up this place. can tell who's out on the weekends!!!!!!!

<A little different.
> MIND GAME
> 2% or 98%
> This is strange...can you figure it out?
> Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?
> Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
> * Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
> * There's no trick or surprise.
> * Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a
> time and as quickly as you can!
> * Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done
> each of them ... really. * Now, scroll down (but not too
>fast, you might miss something).
>
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> I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of
> the population whose minds are different enough to think of
> something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark

> when given this exercise. Keep this message going. This one
> is actually worth sending on to others. Forward it to people you
> know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual.








DeleteReplyForwardSpamMove...
Previous | Next | Back to Messages Save Message Text | Full Headers

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already
there?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you
know the
batteries are dead?

Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

Christmas oxymoron:
What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat
candy
out of your socks

Choose your partners, one and all,
Aspirin, Advil or Tylenol!
Now fling those covers with all you've got.
One minute cold, the next minute hot.

Circle right to the side of the bed,
Grab the tissues and Sudafed.
Back to the middle and don't goof off,
Hold your stomach and cough, cough, cough.

Forget about slippers, dash down the hall.
Toss your cookies in the shower stall
Remember others on the brink
Wash your hands, wash the sink.

Wipe the doorknob, the light switch too,
Now you've got it, you're doing the flu.
Some like it cold, some like it hot,
If you like neither, then get the shot.

<The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around
> that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a
> lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a
> patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win
> the money. Many people had tried over time - weight lifters,
> longshoremen, etc.--but nobody could do it.

> > One day a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a
> polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try
> the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said O.K.,
> grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. He then handed the wrinkled
> remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned
> to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six
> more drops of juice fell into the glass.

> As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man,
"What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?"
>
> The man smiled knowingly and replied "I work for the IRS".
>

To all you OWLS
(Older Wiser Laughin' Souls)






Wisdom from Grandpa .....

Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.



Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.




Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.



When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.



If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.



On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past - but never the present.



A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin' and scrubbin'. No wife of mine is gonna work."





Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make beds and is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders.



Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.





Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.



How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?





You know you are getting old, when everything either dries up or leaks.






Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.


Have a GREAT day.......and keep Laughing

<I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my
>>doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I
>>decided
>>to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated,
>>jumped up
>>and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my
>>leotards
>>on, the class was over.
>>
>>--- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you
>>think is
>>the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply
>>replied,
>>"No peer pressure."
>>
>>--- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own
>>Easter eggs.
>>
>>--- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the
>>very
>>elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she
>>replied.
>>"Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker
>>commented. She
>>responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?
>>
>>--- I've sure gotten old.! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip
>>replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm
>>half
>>blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40
>>different
>>medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
>>Have
>>bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands
>>and feet
>>anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
>>But,
>>thank God, I still have my driver's license.
>>
>>
>>--- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her
>>preacher she
>>had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and
>>second, she
>>wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher
>>exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me
>>twice a week."
>>
>>---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not
>>as
>>sharp as it used to be.
>>
>>--- Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill
>>out.
>>
>>
>>---I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my
>>body are just prone to swinging.
>>
>>---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your
>>coffeemaker.
>>
>>
>>---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For
>>fast
>>relief."
>>
>>
>>---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your
>>inner
>>child playing with matches.
>>
>>---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.!
>>
>>--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You
>>grow old because you stop laughing.
>>
>>- --THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the
>>people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones
>>I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
>>
>>Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10. Oh
>>heck, send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who
>>they are.
>>

nobleheart: lol

Thankgiving Quiz:
What year did the Pilgrim first celebrate Thanksgiving?
1521
1621
1721
1821


How long did the first Thanksgiving celebration last?
1 day
2 days
3 days
4 days


Which president established Thanksgiving as the last Thursday in November?
Abraham Lincoln
Andrew Johnson
Franklin Roosevelt
George Washington


Where was the first Thanksgiving celebrated?
Mayflower
Plymouth
Springfield
Boston


Wild turkeys can NOT fly.
True
False


Answers to Quiz: 1.b 2.c 3.a 4.b 5.b

Hi,

This is what a computer should do first thing in the morning!
Click on the (really weird) link below and then type in your first name..


http://www.cse.unsw.edu.au/~geoffo/humour/flattery.html

nobleheart: rofl i will thanks for your comments and responce!!!!!

playBunny: bow bow er should i say.curtsey curtsey lol

Notable Replies
to the Invitation to the first annual
Scientists' Ball


Pierre and Marie Curie were radiating enthusiasm.

Einstein thought it would be relatively easy to attend.

Volta was electrified, and Archimedes was buoyant at the thought.

Ampere was worried he wasn't up to current research.

Ohm resisted the idea at first.

Boyle said he was under too much pressure.

Edison thought it would be an illuminating experience.

Watt reckoned it would be a good way to let off steam.

Wilbur Wright accepted, provided he and Orville could get a flight.

Dr Jekyll declined -- he hadn't been feeling himself lately.

Morse's reply: "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now must dash."

Hertz said he planned the future to attend with greater frequency.

Audubon said he'd have to wing it.

Hawking said he'd try to string enough time together to make a space in
his schedule.

Darwin said he'd have to see what evolved.

Mendel said he'd put some things together and see what came out.

Descartes said he'd think about it.

Newton was moved to attend.

Pavlov was drooling at the thought.

Gauss was asked to attend because of his magnetic personality.

--

Where the customers are thicker than the technical support....

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD,

but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?

Customer: Yeah....

Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

===============

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

===============

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...

it's still on my desk... sorry....

===============

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

============== =

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

===============

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.

I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

===============

Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

===============

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

===============

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Tech support : Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work.

===============

Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

===============

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

===============

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

===============

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

===============

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

===============

And last but not least:....

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

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