Groucho: As his plane spiraled down out of control Jim spotted a flash of emerald and tan through the clouds. As his plane sank lower he realized it was an island in a part of the ocean where no island should be.
Skyking:The fatiague from such a disorienting experience had caused Jim to question his perception of his surroundings.Could it be?......could that really be a Chuck E Cheese in the distance?
You know how all your life people kept telling you “college is tough.” As a freshman I was carrying more than a full load, but the counselor allowed it because some were a few "easy" classes.... So on a clear, mild and sunny summer day, the first day of a “pushover” class, at least three to four dozen of us were following this lanky guy like he was the pied piper leading us to the promised land. Or out to the deserted campus gridiron.
He stopped, turned and asked, “How many of you have ever played golf?” Not more than ten of us raised our hands. He pointed to me, “What’s your handicap?”
“My best is 18, but that’s at my home course” I answered. He asked where, and I told him, (Arbuckle), and that my dad was the club pro. With that he motioned me over; we walked out in the middle of the lush green football field, leaving the rest of the class on the sidelines.
As he gave me a 9 iron he pointed and said, “The end zone is the green.” Then he tossed a golf ball on the grass. “The goal post is the pin.”
Now I don’t know if you’ve ever played golf, or football for that matter, but your average “well manicured” lawn probably would probably qualify as a decent “fairway”, whereas this overgrown football field would definitely be the “rough” on a golf course. Here I had this beat up old 9 iron, a wedge would‘ve been the club, and a ball that didn‘t look all that whippy either- what I could see of it! “Let’s see what you can do,” he challenged," as he backed away towards the crowd.
I squinted at that silvery metal “H” on the goal line (some high schools still have them yet;) about 60-65 yards distant, glinting in the sun on that clear day. My first thought- I can’t take a “full” swing- maybe 3/4 strength. Then looked down at the ball nestled in the grass, but I can’t let up either, it’s got to be a firm follow through.
While all these thoughts of the upcoming golf shot were demanding priority in my head, niggling for equal time was- Now everybody knows where you’re from BIG MOUTH! The course you play at, who your dad is, and you just made 18 handicap only recently!
“You can take a couple of practice swings if you want,” the instructor offered. So I did. I’m not even sure if the first practice swing grazed the grass. But the second one riffled through it, grazing the ground, cutting a satisfying swath and sending the bladed grasses briefly skyward.
No divots for me! Courteous golfers replace their divots (those big clods that you see on TV;)- I on the other hand found that it was easier to pick the ball clean off the ground with a good stroke of the club- Rather than to hit the ball first, take a divot in front of the ball (the correct way;), walk two- ten paces up, pick-up the divot, return to the "scar", and replace the divot correctly (using a tee- Dad was a greens keeper first;).
Holding the club in my left hand, I placed the club head behind the ball as I stepped up to it. Then my right hand joined my left in the "interlocking" grip.
Exhaled quickly, then filled my lungs with air. Opened up my stance a little, let’s hit it straight! The grass is a little high, exhaled sloooowwwwly, toed the club in a little, the grass is going to catch it and inhaling (sloooowwwwly), taking the club back thinking, Whatever I do, I’ve got to get it in the air, just don’t let me “top the ball.” Keeping my eye focused on the it, Or hit a “worm raker!” pausing at the top of the swing, But don’t make a divot so big it goes further than the ball! then I started the downswing....
Still keeping my eye on the ball, I heard the whoosh of the club coming down, and the grass swished-click! The ball disappeared- it was airborne! A few strands of grass blew back towards me as I followed through, and tried to catch a glimpse of it, no divot to speak of; I’d picked it clean off the field! I couldn’t spot the ball; out of the corner of my eye I saw the heads of the crowd turning towards the end zone. You could’ve heard a pin drop.
TONGGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggggggg........
It hit the crossbar! It had hit the crossbar of the goalpost! "WHOA!" Is the only thing I remember people saying for sure, and I think some people said things like, “Did you see that?” "Unbelievable!" "Awesome" "You got to be kidding me!" and there was some genuine applause (not "golf clapping";)
Then the instructor almost shouted, “you got an “A”, I’ll see you at the end of the semester!” People were patting me on the back, shaking my hand and congratulating me as I walked off the field to the student co-op to relax and play cards. (Another story;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh yeah, if the goalpost had been the pin, I probably would’ve been 10 or 20 yards over the green! (I don't think it would have bit, much less drawn back after coming out of that rough!;)
Never bettered that 18 handicap, haven't played in years, plan to go soon... Never did get that "A"- was sidetracked by Viet Nam.
Danny, (the best step-father I've ever had), died years later in a small private airplane crash, on his way to play in a golf tournament.
The moral of the story- Be careful of what you volunteer; You could get called... To "walk the talk?"
So keep your head down, Your mouth shut, And your eye on the ball;]
Jim was flying his lear jet over Cuba on his flight to Brazil. He was a representative of a coffee company in Florida who was checking on companies in South America. All of a sudden all his gages were malfunctioning and he was loosing control of his plane....
...He found out a bird had hit one of the engines...
...Suddenly, the plane started to dive!
...The engine sputtered and choked as it tried to stay alive...
...As his plane spiraled down out of control Jim spotted a flash of emerald and tan through the clouds. As his plane sank lower he realized it was an island in a part of the ocean where no island should be.
...Was his fantasy becoming true?
...What fantasy was that?
...The island was incased in a fog or clouds. Soon his plane floated down. Till it reached the island.
...The fatiague from such a disorienting experience had caused Jim to question his perception of his surroundings.Could it be?......could that really be a Chuck E Cheese in the distance?
...Jim had dozed off and woke hours later on the island and his plane was no where in site. No wreckage whatsoever.
...He saw the Chucky Cheeser again and discovered that the island fabricated marages of what ev er you think about.
Modificat de Papa Zoom (13. August 2006, 01:36:38)
Groucho: "What strange place is this?" Jim thought. "Whatever one thinks about, the Island creates a mirage of it. "
Suddenly it occured to him that such a situation could lead to trouble. What if he were thinking of something that led to a dangerous or even deadly mirage?
He hardly had time to think about that last question when a shudder surged throughout his body. Was he now seeing things? What was his last thought? He didn't have time to wonder any longer. Something was moving in the distance. Something big. And it was coming his way.....
Groucho: The very idea that Jim could manifest his own best or worst fears intrigued Jim.For to even dread the worst meant he must at least revisit that minefield of emotions.
Jim Dandy: the ground trembled, the trees shook in the distance... it reminded him of the old king kong movie... coconuts were falling everywhere... BOOM! earth geysered! BOOM! BOOM! ROARRRRrrrrr! The giant ape retreated in anger! the coconuts were setting off land mines! jim thought "oh this is just dandy" and forced himself to think of 'good' thoughts...
A couple of hours passed and Jim had arrived to the top of the hill. All that was left of the ruins of Ghylopia were a few fallen big stones. Jim took out a flat stone he had with him and placed it on the ground. On it was inscribed:
A MAN WITH THE NAME JIM LEAVES THIS PLACE ON THIS DAY, YEAR 1632 AND ONE DAY IN A FAR DISTANT FUTURE HE WILL RETURN.
*BOB*on*Bush*: But no matter how hard he tried, the huge ape just wouldn't disappear. Land mines continued to explode as coconuts continued to fall. Suddenly, another huge creature appeared in the distance. "How can that be?" thought Jim. "I wasn't thinking of a creature of any kind!" Then just as suddenly, the huge ape disappeared and the explosions ceased. But the beast in the distance grew bigger and bigger as it came closer and closer.
"This is madness!" Jim screamed as he desparately thought of peceful things. A quiet stream running through the valley appeared. That was Jim's thought. But the beast wasn't. And then it suddenly occured to Jim. Not only was he not alone, but the thoughts of others became a reality to him as well! It was one thing to control his own thoughts but the thoughts of another? Impossible.
And then he saw the other. The person was running towards him with the beast following. They were too far away to tell if it was a man or a woman. But whoever it was, the beast was chasing after them. And both of them were running straight towards Jim.
Groucho: Then,all at once Jim sensed a presence from behind.The ape had returned and was running its fingers through his hair while making grunting sounds.In an act of defiance Jim swung around and screamed at the top of his lungs "get your stinkin paws off me you dirty Ape."
Jim Dandy: THUMP...THUMP...THUMP...THUMP... Jim looked up at a placid Kong... SCREAM! They both looked towards the high-pitched SCREAM source but saw the T-Rex first! It was bearing down on a golden haired slight woman in a flowing flimsy white wrap, who gathered herself and dove into the deep blue stream...
Jim pointed- Well don't just stand there king! Go save her! Help her!
The giant ape ROARED and sprang forward covering ground fast and low... almost losing Jim as he jumped on and clung on to the ape's hairy calf with both hands...
The T-rex skidded to a stop on the thick green verge at the stream and BELLOWED a challenge back!
If people collectively want the storyboard guidlines modified and EVERYONE can agree, then whatever the group decides works for me. Until that happens, the above applies. Many "chatty" posts were deleted. They were old and in the way. My reasons should be obvious. People have complained on this board about the chat. It interrupts the storyline. Introducing a new story also interrupts so it only makes sense to do one at a time. If after a story-tag story is finished and people want to just chat about stories, that's fine. What every everyone wants (and in agreement) works for me. I don't care. It's not my board, it's my responsibility. The board belongs to all of you who participate here. But if you think everyone can have their own way here, that won't happen. I believe there is a consensus about chat and I've implimented a no chat rule because off that. I believe the rest of the guidelines fit within the expectations of those who regularly post here. If not PM me and if I see a need we'll open the storyboard up for discussions etc.
Foxy Lady: But that tricky little mouse isn't about to be fooled by the mouse traps. He's seen them before and knows how to avoid them. Meanwhile, the mouse is occupied staring back into the eyes of the stranger.
ScarletRose: Well that's the nature of the storyboard problem isn't it. Look at the previous lines of the story. It started out seriously and then it took a turn for the silly. We have apes, chuckie cheeze, and t-rex running around. What am I supposed to do? Were you adding to that story or starting a new one? Now I'm really confused. How am I supposed to deal with what people write? You tell me.
Groucho: I was adding to the story.. I actually sat and focused on what I wrote.. I just didn't write a quick line to get a laugh.. and then have the next several posters make light of it.. If they want to contribute I think they should at least make a better attempt at it.. Geez.. if they would just read what had been written I wrote something that actually blended in with everyone's input..
ScarletRose: Well, I'd like to leave your post because you actually raise an issue I wanted to raise anyway. If you look where I had reposted the entire story, from there is wasn't long before it took a silly turn. I even had to delete one post because I was trying to keep the story on the serious level.
On the one hand I want to allow for some "fun" and sillyness but I also realize it will distract from the hard work of others and the story may fizzle. On the other hand, I don't know when to delete an addition or even if I should. I don't want to be that critical. Obviously some people have the writing gift and others do not (I don't consider myself necessairly gifted in that area.) I tried to give some guidance from the above guidelines but unless serious writers participate, it may be difficult to get a good story going.
BTW, so it's clear (this is to everyone reading this) I am not referring to the "mouse" addition. That was clearly a joke. :)
If anyone has a good suggestion, I'm all ears. I'll repost the "story so far" after some discussion has taken place. ;)
Subiectul: Let's get this story ended and start fresh by your guidelines.
Foxy Lady: That may be a good idea. But I would suggest that when we start a new story we decide ahead of time if it's to be silly or serious and the starter gets to decide. Then everyone must follow that.
Story tags can be so much fun but peeps have to work together and SR is right that additions must "blend in" to others imput to the story.
Subiectul: Re: Let's get this story ended and start fresh by your guidelines.
Groucho: I happen to enjoy the current story.. it shows unique imagination.. It would just be nice if others offered new characters.. and took those roles on..
I certainly don't think we should change stories.. I just think that it should be stated that this is impromptu.. those who make additions should realize longer posts with more details would be more appreciated than a quick one-liner.. which leads really to nothing..
for instance.. in my earlier addition.. I made my character run towards Jim.. I didn't say Jim.. I left that open.. but, it was to be assumed it was Jim.. since the earlier bits and pieces suggested someone was running towards him.. I not only blended.. but, I created a new character.. one that could respond.. it would be even better if others were to assume characters.. whether they were the T-Rex or the Pteranodons swooping down and attacking my hair.. That is the frustrating part of this..
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"Bawkkkkkkkkk Bawwaakkkkk" Scarlet comes running through the trees, arms up above her head sheilding herself from the swooping Pteranodons. Her white guaze dress snags on a stump and tears at the hemline.
Glancing all around she turns and runs directly toward a figure in the distance. The Pteranodon drops even lower and nips a bit of her hair, he swooshes upward shuffling a breeze and a clasp of blond tresses hangs lightly out of his clenched bill. Grabbing at her scalp she steps up her pace and screams a bit.. but, exhaustion soon took over and she collapsed onto the ground.. Looking up she swings her hand to shield her eyes and stares directly into the eyes of.....
Subiectul: Re: Let's get this story ended and start fresh by your guidelines.
Jim Dandy: No worries. It's not the end of the world. I think different people have different expectations and different levels of expertise in all this. I kinda screwed up SR's entry too. We'll get it all sorted out. ;)
Subiectul: Re: Let's get this story ended and start fresh by your guidelines.
Skyking: I care. I want to know what people expect. I've got some ideas going in my head and when I have time I'll post them and get feedback. Everyone's thoughts are important here.
Looking up she swings her hand to shield her eyes and stares directly into the eyes of.....
a tiny field mouse.
One of the things, in my opinion, are stories that surprise the reader's emotions, or being able to change the emotion of the reader. This is what keeps people reading. Was the introduction of a new character out of line? Obviously, it was a workable post as the storyline easily went on.
If people choose to make long, descriptive posts, that's great. If people choose to make short to the point posts, they should have that right too. Being this is a public board, all posts should be encouraged as long as they are on topic.
Clearly, my post of "a tiny field mouse" completed the thought of the poster before me.
NOT a floosie: ;) Yeah. I'm just trying to figure out how to make things work better in here. I'm going to do some checking and see what I can come up with to make things simple but I suspect that you are right on. I suspect that we'll have to just go with the flow and follow the story where ever it leads. ;) (as long as a Purple Dinosaur doesn't show up)
Modificat de Foxy Lady (22. August 2006, 03:09:59)
Groucho: You can't please everybody your the main mod and you posted guidelines.IMO the story is ruined long ago and is getting boring.If ppl can't follow the guidelines or rules of a board than they shouldn't post.
Skyking: Oh bother, I just wrote a long reply and then lost it. :/ In a nut shell, I'm working on a few things but for the moment would like to keep the discussion open on how the board is run. I think Foxy is right in that the guidelines need to be followed. They look fair to me. Floozie is right in that it's a public board and all posts should be encouraged as long as they are following the story line. This would have to include Apes and T-rexs and mice ;) Apologies Jim Dandy. I'm still learning.
I have joined a story tag web ring and am researching how others manage the story tag. So more on that later.
Other ideas include story discussions (not during a story tag "game" however); sharing of links, and sharing of stories found on the web (or even sharing of personal stories people have written.
There are a number of ways of handling these things (including me making a Storyboard website where I include stories people have written and then the link can be posted here). I'm still thinking.
This board used to discuss stories and celebrate authors in addition to the tag game. However, during a story tag / chain story I think we need to agree that the board would get cluttered with other stuff going on too.
Do people want this only as a story tag board? Or do people want story tag plus?
As for the current story, if we stay with it, T-rex, the ape, and the little mouse stay in the story too. As I said, Floozie is right that it's a public board and all contributions (within reason) are encouraged.
I probably will add one guideline to the above with respect to adding to the story. I'm still thinking that through and after my research is completed, I'll share it with ya all.
Ok, changes are on the way. I've removed the guidelines and I'll explain what's going on.
Basically this public board was barely breathing. The story tag (also known as chain stories and roundrobin stories) entries were few and far between. Initially I tried to manage this by stopping the chatter and directing the story. Well, that didn't work and I obviously made a few mistakes. It's clear to me now that if you have a public board and a public story, that (within reason) you simply have to allow any and all contributions as long as they are following the story line. But story tag alone is probably not enough to make this board attractive so I'm trying a few other ideas.
I'm still working out all the details but I want feedback. ;)
* I've made a website where I will put the guidelines. Once completed, posters will have to access the website to read the guidelines. I will post something above at the top of the board page but don't want to have too many guidelines posted (otherwise people will have to scroll down for the first post...)
* I've started a links page and will continue adding what I've found. Members contributions can be sent to groucho-m@comcast.net.
* We have many good writers on BK and many people have written their own short stories. Members will be able to submit their stories to me and I will post them on the web. If members have many story contributions I will likey give them their own pages. It's easy to do.
* Story tags will not be the only activity on this board. But I'm still thinking through the logistics. Other activities may include: * posting links to member story contributions * discussions or comments on members stories * story tag stories, when finished, will be posted on the web page * limited story related chat * other ideas?
There will likely be a guideline that if we are working on a story tag, then that and only that will be allowed (with maybe exceptions to announcements). But as I see it, story tags are but one aspect of this board.
Comments may be posted here. Suggestions for the web site may be posted here. Once we decide what we want (shouldn't take long) we may finish the current story (or begin a new one...I'm for finishing) and then get on with things. If we all help, we can bring this board to life and have lots of fun with stories.
One thing: In case anyone is wondering. Should the ideas I have work out and the website (after a time) contain a lot of member stories - AND - should a new MM take over (one day---anything is possible---but remember I'm a life member hehehe) the web site will stay with BK. It's easy to transfer any and all data to a geocities free website.
After a time, if there is success, we can join the web ring too. ;)
I need to hear from you otherwise you will just get MY ideas.
Also remember, if 6 people have 6 opposing ideas, not everyone will get what they want. Just like in real life. ;) We're adults and we can all handle that.
If you want a say in how things develop over the next several days, feed back NOW. ;) I'll keep things open until the end of the week (for an open discussion right here) and then put something into effect. After that, only feedback via PM is desired. I hope to get back to the story by the end of the week (either the old one or a new one...whatever people want. If I decide what to do we will stick with the current story line) ;)
Jim Dandy: Good question. I don't see it so much as a major overhaul as offering more choices for the board (within a manageable structure) and providing a place to share story links, post stories members have written (and post only the link here) and whatever other ideas develop.
This board was pretty dead with postings few and far between. I seriously doubt that story tag only will attract lots of people. It's limiting in my view. So I'd like to try to expand the activities here (within a workable structure) ;)
Groucho: I think that if someone starts a story and others can add to it, then, whoever adds to the story makes the twist or the turn. I don't think it is fair to say "This has to be serious" or "This can be silly." The thoughts and ideas of those who participate are what counts and what makes the story original. I would not like to be in your shoes and have to decide "Which way do I want the story to go." This is getting wayyyyyyy complicated. :)
The Whisper: I agree and learned that lesson. What you have just posted is right on and is the only way to run a story tag/chain story. I hope people aren't getting the idea that that is what I am proposing. I've changed my former point of view on it pretty much to what you just posted below. ;) (you said it well)
(ascunde) Dacă cineva î-ti spue ceva intro limbă pe care nu o întelegi poţi cere ajutor Tabla de discuţii a Limbilor. (pauloaguia) (arată toate sfaturile)