MagicDragon: Not dumb at all. If you want to go with a phone dial up connection then your phone line has to be connected to it.. there are programs all over that you can install to let you know when a call is coming in an who it is ( If you have that service presently on your phone )
you may want to lookin to DSL or Cable modem which is separate from the phone.
when you go to buy the machine KNOW what type of net connection you want so that you can either get a phone modem installed with it ( they arent usually added to machines anymore with out asking for them, they used to be standard) or if you are going with a high speed connection you will need to have a network card et al.