....and who performed it (several correct answers on this one)

1) "...a bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won, and it was 12 o'clock before I realized I was having no fun..."

2) "...catch the witness, catch the wit, catch the spirit, catch the spit..."

3) "...well I could tell that they was mine from the oil and gasoline..."

4) "...here we are now, entertain us, I feel stupid and contagious..."
btw, I STILL think he is saying "Drunk and stupid and contagious" but I've been told I'm wrong : )

5) "....Nobody bites back as hard on their anger, none of my pain and woe can show through..."

6)"...it's too late to say you're sorry, how did I know, why should I care..."

7)"...and the devil take that woman for you know she treat me easy..."

8) "...funk to funky, we know Major Tom's a junkie.."

9)"..I'm gonna find me a hole in the wall, I'm gonna crawl inside and die..."

10) "...now one and one is two, two and two is four, I'm heavy loaded baby, I'm booked I gotta go...."

11)"...with a pair of heavy-duty Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand, every other wrangler would say I was mighty grand..."

12)"...with a boulder on my shoulder, feeling kinda older, I tripped a merry-go-round..."

13)"...when I'm sad, she comes to me, with a thousand smile she gives to me for free...."

14) "...wishing I were on a fast freight train just a-chooglin down to New Orleans..."

15) "... come on try a little, nothing is forever, there's got to be something better than in the middle..."

: ) easy, maybe, but maybe I can trip y'all up on one or two ; )