Jason: LOL. Very good!

Purple: And there was me thinking that joke was worthy of a banning.
It has a cringe factor of 10.

Darn good though!

bumble: When two groups are offended in one joke that is an achievement. LOL. I thought it was mild and clever but if there is outrage among the mentally ill perhaps we can ban it afterall.

Purple:

well im told i'm mental and i thought it was good lol, hang on i've just dropped my pencil

Jason: Worthy of 'is that the cat who chewed your new shoe?'

OK thats enough of the chatter, back to Jokes please!

Dang I love this "NEW" power as a Mod!

ClayNashvilleTn: I needed one more co-moderator. I wanted someone who was fair, intelligent, honest and with a sense of humor. I couldn't find anyone like that so I appointed Clay.

Purple:And here was us thinking it was because you could mould clay..... LOL

Purple: I'm good at apologizing!

I want to apologize to Bumble and Jason for scolding them in public!

You guys may consider it an honor, since it was my first act as a newbie Mod!

skipinnz: It has been said that his jokes are "moldy" if that helps. LOL

This guy is shopping one day and goes into a salvage store to just look around. To his amazement he finds his dream suit that he had always wanted. Knowing what they cost he looks for the price tag nervously.
He is shocked speechless when he see the price of just $19.95. He hurriedly tries it on just to find out that the right sleeve and the left pant leg are both 4 inches to short!
He is heart broken, so as he slowly begins removing the suit a salesman walks up to him and says.........hey that's your color! The customer says.......yes I know and I just love it but........look, look at the sleeve and pant leg!

The salesman thinks fast and says, wait, wait before you remove it. Pull your right arm up inside the right sleeve by bending your right elbow just a little....little more. Perfect!
Now bend your left leg at the knee. a little more. GREAT. Now look in the mirror!
The customer looks in the mirror and is shocked to see how nicely the suite now fits him! I'll take it! Here's $50.00, keep the change and out the door he walks.

Two men are approaching him on the side walk and one says to the other, "Look at that poor cripple man" His friend says "Yes, but doesn't his suite fit him nice!

*

*
IF:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:

S T Y L E
19 20 25 12 5 = 81%

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But:
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

and

B U L L * * * *
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 103%


So it stands to reason that hard work
and knowledge will get you close,
Attitude will get you there,
majorbull will put you even over the top.

Now let's look how far Butt Kissing will get you !

B U T T K I S S I N G
2 20 21 21 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 152% !!

... ~*~ ...

'

It was opening night at the theater and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. "Cr*p!" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the theater.

cr*p was not high enough ... ~*~

danoschek:

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.

"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."

"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.

"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" My wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."

"How do you want your eggs?"

"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the two eggs home. DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS

Only in the US. . .

http://coan.net/bk-smile/8/only-in-usa.jpg

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus: "Send me a brother".

Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother"..

About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air, and the crew began serving drinks, I could hear them pleading with the children to settle down and let the other passengers get some sleep.

No amount of reasoning seemed to help, until I thought of the solution that actually worked. I picked up the PA mike in the cockpit and announced, "Children, this is the captain speaking. Don't make me stop this airplane and come back there!"

<Blonde Jokes (or are they factual reports?) A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle
spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything
resembling a tiger. "He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot
chocolate and then............", he sighed, "Let's put all these frosted
flakes back in the box.
  ASTROLOGY > >Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........and one blonde says to the other:" Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says
"Helllloooooooooo, can you see Florida......?????
CAR TROUBLE > >A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it
for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor". She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
  SPEEDING TICKET > >A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her
license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
  KNITTING > >A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was
astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN > >A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were
the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going
to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM > >A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she
landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you
hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! > >A girl was visiting
her blonde friend, who had acquired
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex
and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"   "Hellllloooooo," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs."

An older couple had a son, who was still living with his parents. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test.
They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table... then they hid, pretending they were not at home.

The father's plan was: "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest - but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard."

So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously.

Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the note they had left. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.

After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it.

Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality ... then he left for his room, carrying all three items.

The father slapped his forehead, and said: "Darn, it's even worse than I could ever have imagined... "

"What's this mean!?" his wife asked quizzically.

"I'm afraid our son's going to be a politician!"

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.
But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold", the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes", the man at the National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to b e one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

<Subject: The demise of Common Sense
>
> Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
>
> Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he
> was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
>
> He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing
> when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that
> life isn't always fair.
> Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
> than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in
> charge).
>
> His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
> overbearing
> regulations were set in place. - Reports of a six- year-old boy charged with
> sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for
> using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly
> student, only worsened his condition.
>
> Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental
> consent to administer aspirin to a student; but could not inform the parents
> when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
>
> Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live, as the churches became
> businesses;and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
>
> Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that
> a
> steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was
> awarded a huge settlement.
>
> Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his
> wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. Two
> stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner survive him.
>
> Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

Alarms: What an octopus is.

Dockyard: A physician's garden.

Incongruous: Where bills are passed.

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell, which by mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.
"Hello?" she cried, but got no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder--still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice, "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?!"

Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away...

"We're down here."

The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
They tried to give her some warm milk, but she refused. Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more, and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

"Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "please give us some wisdom before you go to the Lord."

She raised herself in bed and with a pious look on her face said,

"Don't sell that cow."

LMBO

Most people don't know that back in 1912,
Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England.

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment
scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be
the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of
mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know,
the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit
an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise,
and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate
at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared
a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year
on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

danoschek:

Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground. The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. the second threw his watch and made only two steps before hearing his watch shatter. The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch." How did you do that?" asked one of his friends.

"My watch is 30 minutes slow."

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blond young lady, gave me a strange look and said,

"Why don't you just put it in park?"

INVENTORAMF:lol thats a good one!

kithara: ... ~*~

GeGe:
I thought so too

INVENTORAMF: Yeah

Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was coming.

Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No one stood up during the pause to offer a reason 'why this couple should not be married'. His reception wasn't dis- rupted by streakers or smoke-bombs, and the car the couple was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order.

When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Bill even checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had always loved). Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that he had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed.

Upon waking, the couple was ravenous so Bill called down to room service and asked, "I'd like to order breakfast for two."

At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, "Make that five."

My Grandfather likes to give advice but he's a little forgetful........one day he took me to one side & left me there!

danoschek: dung neither ...
perhaps eriisa should pin the kindergarten tos somewhere at a wall made visible ...
too silly is no joke let me tell you, it could be charged as careless humbug ... ~*~ .

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too
Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..

I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet.

"How do you know when you're at 300 feet?" asked one woman.

"A good question," replied the instructor. "At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

The woman thought about this for awhile before saying, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Dad".

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice, even with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.
Even though you won't care for her as she is so much older than I, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son, Tony

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you!

PSS: Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Love Tony

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian; I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

*

*
SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to rest room, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.

SYMPTOM: Taxi's interior suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy looking.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Ugly woman in your sights.
FAULT: Insufficient beer intake.
ACTION: Up the dosage.

SYMPTOM: Shins and toes hurt.
FAULT: You've been walking into things.
ACTION: Maintain dosage.

SYMPTOM: Squishy feeling in the hands.
FAULT: You have grabbed hold of a woman's breasts.
ACTION: Duck to avoid boyfriend's fist.

SYMPTOM: Bed is bumping around.
FAULT: Taking an ambulance ride.
ACTION: It's too late, you made a fool of yourself already.

A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait.
"Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?", he says.

The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, "What'll it be?"

The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."

The bartender pauses for a few seconds, then smiles and says, "Once upon time, there were FOUR little peegs . . . "

"Dear Lord," he began with arms extended and a
rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we
are but dust..."

He would have continued, but at that moment one very
obedient little girl (who was listening carefully
for a change!) leaned over to her mother and asked
quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice,
"Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?"

Church was pretty much over at that point.

*
~*~
*
* silverbullet (~java@usirc-a97f9137.ns2.intrex.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* silverbullet (~java@usirc-intx-194-0-27.ns2.intrex.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<silverbullet> y do u kick me
<silverbullet> can't you discus normally
<silverbullet> answer!
<statue-sweller> we didn't kick you
<statue-sweller> you had a ping timeout:
* silverbullet (~java@usirc-a97f9137.ns2.intrex.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<silverbullet> what ping man
<silverbullet> the timing of my pc is right
<silverbullet> i even have dst
<silverbullet> you banned me
<silverbullet> amit it you son of a silverbullet
<PitPitPooh> LOL
<PitPitPooh> **** you're stupid, DST^^
<silverbullet> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<silverbullet> for two weaks already
<silverbullet> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<statue-sweller> You're a real computer expert
<silverbullet> shut up i hack you
<statue-sweller> ok, I'll be quiet, hope you don't show us what a good a hacker you are ^^
<silverbullet> tell me your network number man then your dead
<statue-sweller> Eh, it's 129.0.0.1
<statue-sweller> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<statue-sweller> yes exactly that's it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for your great attack
<silverbullet> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<statue-sweller> Now I'm frightened
<silverbullet> shut up you'll be gone
<silverbullet> i have a program where i enter your ip and your dead
<silverbullet> say goodbye
<statue-sweller> to whom ?
<silverbullet> to you man
<silverbullet> buy buy
<statue-sweller> I'm shivering thinking about such great haXX0rs like you
* silverbullet (~java@usirc-intx-194-0-27.ns2.intrex.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

What happened is clear: silverbullet entered his own
IP-Adress into his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC.
Undeterred, two minutes later he returned.

* silverbullet (~java@usirc-b5cd558e.ns2.intrex.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<silverbullet> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
<cloudymoon> lol
<statue-sweller> silverbullet: Then try hacking me again...
I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<silverbullet> you're so stupid man
<silverbullet> say buy buy
<cloudymoon> ah, back off
<silverbullet> buy buy statue-sweller
* silverbullet (~java@usirc-b5cd558e.ns2.intrex.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave
of attack. Being a 133t hacker, who usually cracks whole
data centers, he knew what his problem was now.

* silverbullet (~java@usirc-9ff3c180.ns2.intrex.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<silverbullet> statue-sweller you son of a silverbullet
<cloudymoon> silverbullet how old are you?
<statue-sweller> What's up silverbullet ?
<silverbullet> you have a frie wal
<silverbullet> fire wall
<statue-sweller> maybe, i don't know
<silverbullet> i'm 37
<cloudymoon> such behaviour with 37?
<statue-sweller> how did you find out that I have a firewall ?
<cloudymoon> tststs this is not very nice missy
<silverbullet> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<silverbullet> be a man turn that **** off
<statue-sweller> cool, didn't know this was possible.
<silverbullet> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<cloudymoon> are you hacking yourselves?
<statue-sweller> yes silverbullet is trying to hack me
<cloudymoon> he silverbullet if you're a hacker you have
to get around a firewall even i can do that
<silverbullet> yes man i hack the statue-sweller but the sucker has a fire wall the
<cloudymoon> what firewall do you have?
<silverbullet> like a girl
<cloudymoon> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it...you girl^^
<Puzzle Joe> silverbullet give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<silverbullet> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus ****er
<statue-sweller> Noo
<cloudymoon> he silverbullet why turn it off, you should turn it off
<silverbullet> your afraid
<silverbullet> i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<silverbullet> statue-sweller turn off your **** wall!
<cloudymoon> i wanted to say something about this, do you know
the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that's
an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<silverbullet> shut up
<cloudymoon> lol
<silverbullet> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<silverbullet> and you suckers think you're cool and don't
dare going into the internet without a fire wall

statue-sweller doesn't have a firewall at all,
only his router, but he lies and eggs him on.

<statue-sweller> silverbullet, a collegue showed me how
to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<cloudymoon> silverbullet can't hack
<JerryMo> nice play on words ^^
<silverbullet> wort man
<statue-sweller> silverbullet: I'm still waiting for your attack !
<cloudymoon> how many times again he is no hacker
<silverbullet> man do you want a virus
<silverbullet> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<cloudymoon> lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know
how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
<statue-sweller> 127.0.0.1
<statue-sweller> it's easy
<silverbullet> lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
<silverbullet> and are the first files being deleted
<statue-sweller> mom...
<statue-sweller> i'll take a look
<silverbullet> don't need to rescue you can't son of a silverbullet
<statue-sweller> that's bad
<silverbullet> statue-sweller you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<statue-sweller> yes, there's nothing i can do about it
<silverbullet> and in 20 seconds f: is gone
<silverbullet> tupac rules
<silverbullet> statue-sweller you son of a silverbullet your f: is gone and e: too
<silverbullet> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<Puzzle Joe> why doesn't cloudy say anything
<statue-sweller> he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
<JerryMo> ^^
<silverbullet> your d: is gone
<Puzzle Joe> go on silverbullet
<silverbullet> statue-sweller man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<silverbullet> i'm already at c: 30 percent
* silverbullet (~java@usirc-9ff3c180.ns2.intrex.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

danoschek: Funny - 5 minutes later after reading all that, I wonder if it's that funny to non-computer people.