1.You think the stock market has a fence around it.
2.You've ever used lard in bed.
3. your mother has ever yelled at you as a kid" get out of your sister"
4.The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
5.You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
6.Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
7.Red Man sends you a Christmas card.
8.The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
9.You own a homemade fur coat.
10.Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
11.Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
12.The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
13.There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
14.You mow your lawn and find a car.
15.Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
16.Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
17.You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
18.Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.
19.You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
20.You think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company.
21.You got stopped by a state trooper.He asked you if you had an I.D.And you said, 'Bout What?'
22.You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
23.You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
24.you have have at least one relative on the Jerry Springer's show.
25.More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
26.Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
27.You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
28.There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
29.Your favorite T-shirt is offensive in thirteen states.
30.Your home has more miles on it than your car.
31.There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
32.You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
33.You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
34.There is a wasp nest in your living room.
35.You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
36.You can spit without opening your mouth.
37.You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
38.You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
39.Your screen door has no screen.
40.You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
41.Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
42.You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.
43.You've ever been too drunk to fish.
44.You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
45.You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient in soup.
46.The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.
47.You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
48.You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
49.The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute".
50.Bikers back down from your momma.
51.You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
52.You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
53.You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
54.You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
55.You've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
56.You clean your nails with a stick.
57.You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
58.You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.
59.You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.