English Lauguage "Signs" Abroad

1. Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
2. At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
3. Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES
4. Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
5. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF
6. Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR
7. Sign in mens rest room in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT
8. In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
9. On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
10. On a highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
11. On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP
12. In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
13. A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS
14. In A Maternity Ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED
15. In A Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES
16. Tokyo Hotels Rules And Regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED
17. On The Menu Of A Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
18. In A Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS
19. In A Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
20. Hotel Room Notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM
21. Hotel Brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
22. Hotel Lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE
23. Hotel Elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK
24. Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
25. Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
26. Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF- SERVICE
27. Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
28. Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
29. An Advertisement By A Hong Kong Dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS
30. A Laundry In Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME
31. Tourist Agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
32. Advertisement For Donkey Rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
33. Airline Ticket Office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
34. On The Door Of A Moscow Hotel Room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT
35. On The Menu In Lagos Airport Restaurant:
TERMINAL SOUP