correct.

My eyes are blue, thus your answer.

Correct blue eyes

It's a trick, don't spell one word, spell "one word". ;-)

'

'
21) Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.
20) Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88".
19) Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays.
18) Rust problem in engineering causes support failure:
one corner of warp coil now held up by phone book.
17) Computer fails to process any instruction beginning with "w".
16) Booster cables become permanent fixtures in transporter room.
15) Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image
from flickering.
14) Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through
squeaky part of floor in 10- forward.
13) Main sensor array unable to pick up anything except CBS.
12) Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side
become too steep for crew to climb.
11) Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2
people on board.
10) Holodeck becomes caught in an infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten
thousand care bears.
9) Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is making Kraft
macaroni and cheese.
8) Food dispenser in 10-forward will only serve light beer.
7) Bug in main computer speech processor: computer voice will either
stutter or talk like Barbara Walters.
6) Untraceable glitch in plumbing periodically replaces water in
Wesley's shower with frozen concentrated orange juice.
5) Ship's dryer indiscriminately shreds crew's uniforms, and related
problem in fabrication machinery will only produce new clothing with
Roger Rabbit caricature prominently displayed.
4) Computer refuses to carry out commands unless captain says
"Pretty please with sugar on it."
3) Riker unable to sleep for 2 weeks when holodeck computer crashes and
loses access to women's volleyball program.
2) Replacement parts for automatic door to captain's ready room are
exhausted and door must be replaced with bead curtains.
1) Saucer section separates whenever ship makes left turn.

Thanx Dano LOL

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale Has hit Mexico.
Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.

The rest of the world is in shock.

Canada is sending soldiers to help the Mexican army control the riots.

The European community (except France) is sending food and money.

The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.

God Bless America!

But... How in Cadia Lilyton is that funny? I almost find it offensive, if not for the long ago understanding of brown shoed common folly ...

spell 'Water Cooler' ... make no mistake :Þ

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war
party.
The Indian Chief proclaims "So, you are the great Lone Ranger.
In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three
days.But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is
your first request?" The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak
to my horse." Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger,
who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that
evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blond woman on his back. As the
Indian Chief watches, the blond enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends
the night. The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.
"You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two
days.
What is your second request?"
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.
Silver is brought to him and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As
before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the
horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again
returns, this time with a voluptuous redhead, even more attractive than
the blond. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You
are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow.
What
is your last request."
The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse,
alone."
The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to
the
Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, theLone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
looks him square in the eye and says, "Listen carefully, for the last
time, I said
BRING POSSE!


I don't give a.. what Solus thinks of this f...joke

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, both male and
female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year. Male drop their
antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to December.
Females retain
their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore,
according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer,
EVERY single one
of them, from Rudolf to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known.
ONLY
women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all
around the world in one night and not get lost.

The Worlds thinnest books
21. HOW I SERVED MY COUNTRY - by Jane Fonda
20. MY BEAUTY SECRETS - by Janet Reno
19. HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE - by John Denver
18. MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS - by Dan Marino
17. THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL - by HILLARY CLINTON
16. MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE - by Osama Bin Laden
15. THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD - by Bill Gates
14. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman
13. MY WILD YEARS - by Al Gore
12. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
11. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
10. DETROIT: a Travel Guide
9. A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES -by DR. J. Kevorkian
8. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
7. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
6. ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen de Generes
5. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
4. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the EPA
3. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY


2. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson
And the world's Number One Thinnest Book ....

1. MY BOOK OF MORALS - by Bill Clinton/with introduction by The Rev.
Jessie Jackson

Medieval Chastity Belt
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the great wizard was
showing him his latest creation. It was a chastity belt, except
it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place which made
it basically useless.
"This is no good, Merlin!" the King exclaimed, "Look at this
opening. How is this supposed to protect my lady, the Queen, when
I'm on a long quest?"
"Ah, sire, just observe," said Merlin. He then selected his most
worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He
inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon
a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.
"Merlin, you are a genius!" said the grateful monarch. "Now I can
leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected."
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out
upon a lengthy Quest.
Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he
assembled all of his knights in the courtyard and had them drop
their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.
Sure enough, each and every one of them was either amputated or
damaged in some way. All of them, except Sir Galahad.
"Sir Galahad," exclaimed King Arthur. "You are my one and only
true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me.
What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours."
But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless.

Those posts are an exquizit demonstration of what can make a blue meanie smile (sorta)...

James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was
trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a
friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so
that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns'
clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns
"wrapped in the driveshaft."

'

'
# - Once you have their money, never give it back.
# - You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
# - You can always buy back a lost reputation.
# - Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough.
# - If you can't break a contract, bend it.
# - Never let family stand in the way of opportunity.
# - Always keep your ears open.
# - Keep count of your change.
# - Instinct plus opportunity equals profit.
# - A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one.
# - Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
# - Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
# - Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
# - Anything stolen is pure profit.
# - Acting stupid is often smart.
# - A deal is a deal.
# - A bargain usually isn't.
# - Beware of relatives bearing gifts.
# - Don't lie too soon after a promotion.
# - When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
# - Never place friendship before profit.
# - Wise men can hear profit in the wind.
# - Never take the last coin, but be sure to get all the rest.
# - Fear makes a good business partner.
# - Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.
# - Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.
# - Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
# - It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
# - Money talks, but having lots of it gets more attention.
# - Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
# - The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
# - Good customers are a rare as latinum--treasure them.
# - Friendship is seldom cheap.
# - Free advice is seldom cheap.
# - Never use credit where your words will do.
# - Never buy what can be stolen.
# - The riskier the road, the higher the profit.
# - Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise.
# - Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
# - Never do something you can make someone do for you.
# - Sleep can interfere with opportunity.
# - Buy, sell, or get out of the way.
# - A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he is a customer.
# - Wives serve; brothers inherit.
# - If you can sell it, don't hesitate to steal it.

In school one day the teacher decided that in
science class she would teach about materials;
So she stood in the front of the class and said,
"Children, if you could have one raw material in
the world what would it be?"
Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would
want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money
and I could buy a Porsche."
The teacher nodded and called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because
platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy
a Corvette"
The teacher smiled and then called on Little
Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would
want silicon."
The teacher said, "Why Johnny?"
He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two
bags of it and you should see all the sports cars
outside our house!!

Young TZ found it impossible to get a date. He’d start to talk to a girl, and his tongue would twist up like a pretzel.
He went to a bookstore and looked for something that would help him overcome his timidity. On a nonfiction rack he saw a book titled "Ways to Women". Blowing his entire allowance, he bought the book, rushed home, and discovered that he had bought volume ten of the encyclopedia.

'W' is in volume 10? Now that's a joke :)

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar. She gestures alluringly to the
bartender. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his
face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to caress his beard. "Are you the
manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no" the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to
him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her
forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers
into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender finally manages to say.
"Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels
in the ladies room."

Once again, it's time to review the winners of the Annual Stella Awards.
The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself &successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the
Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United
States.

6th place
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles, California, won $74,000 &
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the
wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
He could not reenter the house because the door connecting the house &
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on vacation & Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a
case of Pepsi he found & a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house
owners insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish.
The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th place
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 & medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The
award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been
a little provoked at the time, as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the
fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500, after she slipped on a soft drink & broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd place
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a night club in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor &
knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was
trying to crawl through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 & dental expenses.

1st place
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On
his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway,
he set the cruise control at 70 mph & calmly left the drivers seat to go
into the back & make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV
left the freeway, crashed & then overturned. Mr Grazinski sued Winnebago
for not advising him, by reading the owner's manual, that he actually
could not do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago
Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of
this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their
recreation vehicles.

LOL

eiaur, you a real naughty boy, aren't you?

why is bad bishop the machine?

<Stevie->Fencer's wife->Purple->Fencer->BadBishop
"Pouca terra!" Pouca terra!"" UHHHHHHHHHH!

what are you saying ughaibu?

Why Fencer don't put me away? because he like!!!!

Hey purple, wake up, put some order in this list, please...

it's a long history, but Purple can explain that!

LOL, didn't know purple was a stalker...

To every one, if my user will be expulse, i have a script to create in the same time 100 new users!!!

I would prefer Charles Manson...

eiaur: oh, that explains everything...

maybe dark humour?

a litlle! but Fencer and Stevie don't like

get some overdose and fly...

LOL

in english: Purple is alredy seeing this discussion.