** A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious. ** No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. ** A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. ** If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap. ** A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. ** Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. ** Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. ** A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. ** Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. ** Housework done properly can kill you. ** Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives. ** My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines.