Please keep things positive. Best advise I believe is to try out different sites. Find what works well for you. If you don't like it, don't go back and try another site. Nothing says you only have to play on 1 site. At one time, I played on about 6 different turn-based game sites.
Here's an interesting variant by the inventor of Racing Kings (Vernon Parton). The rules are described here: http://www.chessvariants.org/winning.dir/neutral-king.html
Basically, neither player has a king of their own, but there is a neutral king that may be moved by either player. The object of the game is to checkmate the Neutral King and prevent your opponent from doing so. I don't think there are ANY websites that have it! (Although there is a java applet at pathguy.com where you can play against a computer. But there's nowhere you can play against real opponents.) Brainking could have a world first!